Is it unreasonable to want a traditional wife in today's society?

Question

I have been looking for a future wife who will have our children and stay home to take care of them. I also want a wife who will notice when public schooling isn't educating our children properly and homeschool them if the need did arise. Is this unreasonable?

beenherebefore · Accepted Answer

We need to be realistic. You can find lots of women who are conservative and domesticated but bare in mind that they probably want to have a life where they can balance work and family life. I think a lot of women aspire to be housewives without realizing that a housewife cooks, cleans, does laundry, irons, does the groceries, takes care of the kids etc etc etc that's a lot to do wile your Husband is at work, you're basically as busy as he is but you're in the house. Being a housewife is not waking up in the morning and having lots of free time, running a house is an actual task that I think a lot of women in nowadays society are not willing to do.

As an example, I have a job that doesn't require me to go to work every day I'm on call 24/7 and go to work a few times a month when they need me, my Partner has a 7AM to 3PM job during the week and since I have so much free time I'm in charge of preparing and cooking our meals, I love cooking and is not a burden for me at all. I like to keep the house tidy but do I do a proper deep cleaning every week? No, I absolutely hate cleaning so I have a maid a few times a week to do that for us because I think she does a way better job than me at cleaning. Some people say I'm traditional because I prepare meals every day but I don't consider myself traditional at all there's nothing traditional in calling a maid.

Feltonstar · Accepted Answer

Not necessarily but can you afford to earn the full household wage alone?

Most people would struggle there, especially if they are having families.

And if she needs to work then you also need to step up in the home. Otherwise it's slavery, not tradition.

Realistically too, a woman should always keep a job anyway. Even if it's just part time. For safety. So she can find work if the relationship fails down the line. And surely if you love someone, you want them to have that safetynet of you guys don't work out.

A lot of men will look back on how their mother was like superwoman doing everything and say they want a woman like their mum. Instead of realising that infact, they'd never want their wife to have to live like their mum did.

It's ok to want a traditional set up. If you can provide for it. But as a 'provider and a protector' you also have to allow her space to spread her wings and soar. Not cage her.

A partner needs to lift you up. And vice versa.

If home schooling comes into it, you may need to share that responsibility so that she can also continue to work. To protect her from suffering should the relationship end.

You also need to be clear with eachother from the start about roles and what eachother wants. Not pick a dove and try to cripple and cage it to bend it to your needs.

These are things you need to be thinking through.

HighValue · Accepted Answer

Never provide for a woman that didn't save herself for you. If she didn't do that, she isn't traditional. Also, if she expects to have a smart phone, internet, be friends with other men, have "girls night out" (cheating), have tattoos, nose rings, etc. NONE of that is traditional on her part so never give her the benefits of you being traditional either. MOST, (80% +) of American women are FAR from traditional, and less that 1% are actually traditional. Don't get an American woman. Most of them are so morally corrupt it isn't worth it.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

Not unreasonable, but definitely less common nowadays. One of my exes wanted that and I wanted to give it to her, but I wasn't in the position to at the time. The relationship took the hit for my own incompetence as a man.

There are girls out there that want that. But conservative girls are a dying breed in this day and age.

VioletHaze · Answer

I think there are plenty of women who'd love to. It's just difficult to trust the man considering he will have to put in a lot of effort to make this lifestyle achievable in today's economy.

If you are devoted though, you should be able to find a wife that is too. Not unreasonable so long as it isn't some fantasy or whim but something you'll truly work towards.

Honestly? I would quit my job in 5 seconds if my husband said he will take care of it all. 5 years of education be damned. I want to stay home 😅🙈 But it's a lot of pressure.

Ez-Bri-Z_v2 · Answer

I mean, you do you i guess. Unless you are making high 5 or low 6 figures though it isn't really feasible in this economy any more. More families need two incomes to survive.

Besides, why can't she work and you be the one to care for and teach the kids if you think school is failing them in some way? Why does the expectation always fall on the woman to be the one to sacrifice her potential in the workplace and in society to be a housemaid to you and your children? Doesn't make sense to me.

In the end though, if you find someone looking for that life then good luck in your search.

4ngelic · Answer

if by tradwife, you mean just a stay at home mom that will cook & clean, than it's not unreasonable no. but it will be trickier to find nowadays but not impossible at all, you need to look for more conservative girls. if you dont mind it being just for when the kids are young, that's a lot easier. that last thing isn't old school or bygone.

now if by tradwife, you mean someone that won't just be a homemaker and value family, but will submit to you and obey you, have 7 kids, and will cosplay 1950s housewife 24/7, that's not very reasonable or doable.

Crimsyjo · Answer

Not unreasonable. It's a preference just as much as a man who says he wants a career wife and wants to be the stay at home dad. Or a woman who says she wants a 50/50 equal relationship. There's nothing wrong with having a preference at all. It's just in today's world it's hard to find love let alone love that fits one's requirements.

I just want a man who is protective and loving, independent (self secure/working) and I am self secure too, so we are equals in providing for ourselves, but want companionship and intimacy whilst respecting eachothers needs and our goals to eachother is to support, enhance and bring joy to a otherwise harsh world. But that seems more impossible than even what you ask for :(

Nikki1989 · Answer

A traditional wife needs a traditional husband. Frequently, those values never line up. You can't have one without the other.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

No that is still a reasonable thing you just have to choose the person wisely and have the same moral compass. But just know if you slack in your duties as a husband no one will want to stay trapped forever with you, so make sure you are willing to sacrifice for your families happiness too not just put the full burden on your wife.

SeekerOfTruth007 · Answer

No. Women say "dont' settle". I lol at that. I'd have to settle a lot to accept most women in the USA today. They are on their way to Hell from being LGBTQs and baby-murdering abortionists.

I tell men, "Don't settle".

If she's not 100% STRAIGHT she is not worthy of your time.

ManOnFire · Answer

I wouldn't say it's unreasonable, but less feasible. The "traditional" wife and husband lifestyle is unfortunately not economical in today's crazy world. Unless you are a man who is making a killing with a great job, it's not something you will do easily as an average man on one income.

Ariesman81 · Answer

It's dying in the West. Women keep voting against family and voting for big government to replace it. You're better off finding a woman from a third world country who isn't entitled.

MrChinaski · Answer

You are free to desire whatever you desire. One caveat, though. Marriage is about supporting each other to grow. There is no guarantee that a woman that wants what you set out when you marry won't want different things in 5 or 10 years' time. That's just how life works.

Eyadvy · Answer

no it's very reasonable. actually, it's better than what we see now. childhood is a very (if not the most) important life stage for any person. things surrounding the person at this stage have a deep and profound influence at their whole life. so, leaving the child for the tv, phone, internet, and so on, is very bad. you don't know what they're getting exposed to. having a wife that has time to be a good mother for the child is not just reasonable, but a must nowadays.

Anonymous · Answer

its unreasonable if you cannot afford it. Home schooling? can your wife teach middle school or high school material? I doubt it. most adults can just teach elementary school education. Can you hire a home school teacher? I doubt it.

You can dream about it. But it will never happen for you in real life.

Jackblue · Answer

Well, it is possible, but for that even to be plausible you will need to make a lot of money. One income is often insufficient these days. Then you will need to find a woman who is willing to lay aside any desires she might have to rise in the corporate ladder to raise your kids instead. Lastly it is important that you not expect that just because she is a stay at home mom she will be submissive. I was raised by a stay at home mom, but she was anything but submissive to my dad.

msc545 · Answer

It's not so much unreasonable as it is unlikely. I don't think very many women want to do this kind of stuff that you have in mind. Women look toward the same opportunities as men, and usually this means business opportunities and jobs outside the home. Nobody wants to stay home with kids. Not really.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

Be careful what you wish for. You need significant income for it to work today. You need to be a traditional husband because traditional wives have expectations and if you don't meet and exceed those expectations, they're gone.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Actually no. More and more women want that today. But it may be a trend that will disappear in a few years, so act quickly.

Anonymous · Answer

Not as long as you’re a traditional man and will make sure she’s financially taken cared of even if you die, become sick or you divorce.

Flower7 · Answer

No, as long as you are willing to make enough money.

lightbulb27 · Answer

i know of one in nyc that wants that. not everyone can handle being home but after enough burnout... it sounds good for a while.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Go for it if you can find a woman willing to be your house slave.  I won’t be competing for those women.

Alex-Snow · Answer

Sure it happens and you have what you like but while marriage is not a priority for me I do not want a conventional wife. I want an independent one

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it is. Thats like a life in asylum. No one wants to be living on a remote island like robinson cruso. The trend is that they have sex as much as they can before they get married. And when they want to settle down they want someone who has a good job or money. Otherwise they will sell sex. Thats the reality you are in.

Wraith_Cemetery · Answer

The only women worthy of marrying are the traditional kinds.

Anonymous · Answer

There are plenty of women who want that, but if you just pick out a woman you want and she doesn't want that, she is not going to change for you.

art84 · Answer

My brother wife worked as a nurse and didn't want to be a stay at home mom. I couldn't imagine her being home and a stay at home mom. She enjoyed working rather than being at home.

RavVid · Answer

Know it is not unreasonable but few seem to want to.

jshm2 · Answer

You don't live in a traditional world, dumbass.

genericname85 · Answer

no. there's a lot of traditional thinking girls out there who're looking for a traditional husband. nothing wrong with it at all.

Anonymous · Answer

It's never unreasonable to want a traditionally minded woman.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

You can want what you want, there’s nothing inherently wrong or immoral in that. I will say you’re not likely to find it outside of settings that border on, if not fully lean into cult values.

LiamJHayden · Answer

No. Might not be easy to find, but not unreasonable as long as she is also of that mindset.

Pohjolan · Answer

Not if you can afford it and are willing to seek a mate abroad.

Anonymous · Answer

It's your choice, personally - I wouldn't want a traditional wife.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Nope.

Is it unreasonable to want a traditional wife in today's society?

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