Should I marry the man I love who is broke or the one who is stable?

Question

Should I marry a broke man without a future (whom I love) or a very financially stable man who I love a lot less?

I would be ecstatic to marry the broke man. But I kinda have to admit that it would just be like single motherhood where I would be doing most of the child care while being the sole breadwinner. He makes minimum wage so its not like he would be contributing anything from working a job anyway. He has no ambition, no career prospects, no skills. I am kinda worried about the stress of having to do everything on my own in this high cost of living economy. Raising a child, cooking, cleaning, Buying a house, car, college education for my child, clothe and feed everyone is very hard to do all on a single 90k salary.

If I married a financially stable man, I would be able to relax more, enjoy motherhood, be more stress free. Not have to shoulder the burden of being a mother all alone, which will end up bringing a lot more peace and comfort. But no matter how much comfort I get, I get no excitement from the marriage. It would be plain boring.

beenherebefore · Accepted Answer

You probably won't like my answer but I'm going to be blunt and realistic. Marriage is a serious thing but love alone is not enough to keep a marriage. When choosing someone to marry you you need to think long term as this is the person that is meant to be with you for the rest of your life and be the father of your kids. While love is beautiful I personally think stability is way more important, a lot of marriages end due to financial issues and is important the person you marry is able to provide for you and your kids regardless if you have a job or not. Now judging by your profile you're still young and in your 20s if the guy you're currently seeing is broke but has the ambition of pursuing a promising career and become a successful Man and put in the effort I'd say wait to see what happens but if he's not that type of Man then don't waste your time. Marrying this type of Man is fun in the beginning but when you realize the money he makes is not enough to pay the bills and meet your kids needs that will affect your relationship and eventually cause other types of issues.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Marry the financially stable guy. You don’t love the broke guy, you love the excitement he brings to your life, and he really doesn’t do anything to help you. Excitement gets old fast, especially when you have kids.

Or don’t marry either of them if you don’t love the financially stable guy. It’s ok to be single.

ohsheeT · Answer

Who is more real who are you happier with  who do you want to share your journey with  and will love you and want to succeed with you

AviatorTom · Answer

Depends what you want out of life. Most women would go for stability.

OneViewpoint · Answer

How do you know the financially stable guy would be boring? Welcome to the world of real decisions. Most people don't marry for "love". They look at the overall package. Lifestyle, economics, opportunities for their kids, vacations, the neighborhood they'll be living in, status, etc.

The downside of that is a lot of married women 35-50 end up feeling really bothered by the notion they "settled". They lose respect for their numb husbands who have checked out. They want to "feel" something they think they missed out on before the opportunity disappears forever. They think they could have done "better". They want to experience passion from a man who will bend them over and fuck them like there's no tomorrow. A guy who isn't a steady Eddie "good guy" like their husband. A guy they can't control. A guy they respect. I've seen it up close and personal several times.

RavVid · Answer

This is really a problem with yourself, you need to address.

A lot of women crave excitement and stability. You can't have both cause they are quite contradictory. The problem is that people don't value what they have and put value on what they don't have.

So you go with first guy. You will get over the excitement of not having electricity and start yearning for the stable guy. Then having electricity all the time will be so boring that you seek out a new exciting guy.

What you need to is to learn emotional regulation and go for exciting or stable for the course.

Otherwise you'll ruin your life and 3-4 other peoples life. If you can't emotionally regulate stay single childless.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

The answer depends entirely on why you want to get married. Do you want to get married as a large romantic gesture, or are you doing it to guarantee a financial future for yourself and your children because you live in a place where you, as a woman, are not allowed to work without experiencing societal shame?

jshm2 · Answer

You should not marry at all, as you are too low IQ for either man.

The "broke" man would be even more broke with a partner like you "loving" him. Whereas the "stable" man will have no value with a partner like you.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

Concept of commitment have changed and the ease of securing a job that will support a wife and family has disappeared. One thing has not. That is the emotional security of coupling with someone you love. This is a confusing time in our history. Land of Opportunity is not here. It is almost as if we have taken some giant steps backwards. How many more times is declaring war going to pull us out of a depression I think you need to make up your mind. .

lightbulb27 · Answer

why is he broke is the question... and what is this "love".

I love sharks, doesn't' mean I go swimming with them.

I would not marry a person that is screwed up and demonstrating it by being financially weak and lazy. That is a recipe for stress and disaster.

jazzy34 · Answer

Don't marry either one of them. With the financially stable man, you'd just be happy with being financially stable. Also, since you "kinda sorta" love him, that would break his heart, especially if he's in love with you. Believe me, that will cause other problems. With the man who's not so financially stable, you will always be critical of him not being financially stable which will DEFINITELY cause problems. So, for everyone's sake, do not marry either one.

Anonymous · Answer

You could find someone who you Love who will contributE. If there is a guy Who you already have in mind, make sure he knows your concerns for the future. If he loves you, he will do anything to make you happy and content. I know if find a girl, my behavior will have to significantly change. Give him some time, if he doesn't change, end it.

Anonymous · Answer

My husband loves me unconditionally! I didn’t even have a penny to my name but he never judged me. We never judged each other about anything! 10 years later I’m still in law enforcement and doing great for myself. He has a career as well. We both accomplishing goals in life. Sometimes you gotta start from the bottom and work your way up. Life may not work the work you plan it but that’s okay. You have to start somewhere in life

msg321 · Answer

The word people call 'love' is just a temporary sexual attraction. After it passed you face a person's real character and regret choosing him but I will not also say 'choose the stable one' choose the good one. I mean who is more honest, who is more compassionate, who is more respectful? Choose him.

MrChinaski · Answer

In the words of the Spin Doctors...

whosnumber_1 · Answer

Oh man... I feel sorry for both these guys. Calling a guy who makes 90 grand a year broke because your too much of a spud to get off your own ass and make something of yourself.

molonski2 · Answer

Never marry anyone broke , always head for the money , broke " ain't " pretty , not is it sustainable, follow the $$$ , association is everything.

thegreenyogi · Answer

Marry who you love. You only get one life and although stability is less stressful a life without love and happiness is a real pity!

msc545 · Answer

Don't have a baby. Don't get married at all. You're not ready for any of this. If you do any of the things that are possible right now, I'm afraid you're going to walk right into a disaster. Marriage in general is a disaster these days.

exitseven · Answer

I was goint to ask if the broke guy had any plans for the future but you answered that. I would go with the stable guy.

Staximus · Answer

Why would you have to shoulder the burden of motherhood alone with the broke guy? Why can't he help raise the child, cook, clean, etc?

888theGreat · Answer

You marry the one you love for better or worse so say the vows and he could end up rich , things change. People are well off and not well off throughout life.

Mike_Hum · Answer

I hope these guys both know that you'll cheat on them.

Bloodparadise · Answer

My current boyfriend is enough for me. Would spend eternity giving him what he wants.

jahaims · Answer

You shouldn't get married at all if you think marrying for reasons other than love is ok

Anonymous · Answer

The fact that this is even a question, means you're not mature enough to be in an adult relationship. Grow up before you decide.

blackeagle007 · Answer

I wouldn’t want to marry someone who leans on me for $

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think it matters, because you don't really love either of them.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not even gonna answer this with a real response 🤦‍♂️🤦🤦‍♀️

Unycorn · Answer

Is he working to become stable?

CherryLove007 · Answer

Marriage is a business. Move accordingly.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

The one you love the most!

RingOfFire · Answer

Neither. Meet someone else who has both.

Vegasrunner · Answer

This is hilarious.

Jeff51 · Answer

Marry for love

Twalli · Answer

Marry for love.

LifeLover91 · Answer

Do u have to marry one of them tho?

Amur8711 · Answer

Don't marry either one.

Anonymous · Answer

It's your choice, emotions or finances.

slatyb · Answer

Neither.

Should I marry the man I love who is broke or the one who is stable?

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