What are your long-term plans about marriage and having kids?

[KindaCowardly]

[SummerSunsets_x]

For me personally, I hope to be stable, have a house or a decent apartment where I can live comfortably in with my husband if I even end up having one down the road. Putting money aside for me to be able to have children not just that but for living expenses. I feel like in this economy and how things are going it is impossible for one person to be living off of just one income without there being another income coming in. I would love to at some point have children when I am more mentally and physically stable, not just that but i don't know if my body will allow me to since i have a condition called PCOS, which is called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, it is a disorder affecting women of reproductive age, with irregular menstrual cycles, excess androgen levels, and often the presence of cysts on the ovaries. This can cause fertility issues as well. It's very hard seeing other women who are able to reproduce so easily without any issues, I can't speak on all women, but most women have no issues with their period. It hurts because all I ever wanted for myself was one day to become a mother and knowing that it won't be easy for me sucks. So, I have to have someone who will be willing to understand that this isn't something that will happen overnight but take a while and a few tries. Maybe someone who will be interested in adopting. It all depends on what gods will is for me.

[KindaCowardly]

First I wanna say what a beautiful and thoughtful response, thank you 🙂 I also want to just say personally (And i’m not trying to brag or whatever so don’t think that!) but I live in medium sized city in the midwest and I currently work part-time making $14/hr and I was able to snag a 30 yr conventional mortgage on a super nice starter home had just been renovated with 2 bedrooms , 2 bathrooms, a finished basement, living room and even a dining room and I just got done building last month a deck on the back of it and also repainted the whole exterior! I’m single, no wife no kids, I haven’t even had a roommate in the 13 months I’ve been living her already. And I live in a quiet and safe neighborhood if you can believe it. haven't had any problems. Your on the right track it seems and you have a good mindset from what I can infer from your response regarding saving money and wanting to wait until things are more stable financially to start thinking of starting a family. those are smart decisions so I applaud you there but, and it may be totally different from where you are so im sorry if this was all meaningless to type, but just don’t give up too soon on yourself or rather, your dreams of owning/renting your own place to start a family because I believe in you and that you will succeed! i just wanted to give you a possible tiny glimpse of hope in an otherwise pretty bleak financial and housing environment where everyone says there’s no hope. As far as your fertility issues goes, my heart goes out to you and I cannot imagine what that must feel like but whatever happens I believe your the kind of person who will find that one out there eventually and when you do he will do whatever it takes to love you and start a family with you. I’m really sorry this response is so long!! take care! and thank you for the comment!

[SummerSunsets_x]

no, no thank you so much for replying and liking my comment. I really appreciate the time you took to write to me. That is really amazing that you worked hard enough to achieve those goals and continue to add onto the house that you already have, which I think is not easy and takes time. I don't think you are at all flexing or bragging those are things you should definitely be proud of especially with not having the distractions of having little one's running around. Thank you for your kindness as well and support, it really means a lot, I have been struggling but I am trying my best to keep my head up and keep moving forward. But yes, having those issues that I have it is hard, but I know that with how technology is today and how things keep progressing I'm sure there is a way for me at some point down the road to have a child, but other days I have no open and get down in the dumps. Trying my best to have faith and hope! again I really do appreciate your comment as well!

[nastyb]

Kinda frightening how more and more young women are getting PCOS. There didn't used to be as many back then

[KindaCowardly]

@nastyb Do you think it has to do with what they put in our food these days?

[nastyb]

@KindaCowardly

of course. I also think some girls are more likely to get it due to genetic influences. Back then, no one knew what PCOS was, because no one had it. Nowadays, everyone knows what it is because so many people have it.

[nastyb]

@KindaCowardly

plus, nowadays, girls get breast buds and periods at 8-9 years old. During my time, most of us got periods at 12 in 2007.

[KindaCowardly]

@nastyb This is true. Kinda concerning to say the least!

[SummerSunsets_x]

@nastyb I was born in 2004 , I definitely agree with you, there are a lot of medical disorders now and allergies such as peanuts allergies which I have, I found out when I was little and got tested to see what i was allergic to. I had my first period at 12 and then never had another period after that for another 18 months which is not normal and that is when I had to go in and get tests done and an ultrasound done on my ovaries and that is when I found out I had PCOS. It has ruined my life a lot as it does other women as well. There is definitely a possibility I could have children and couldn't. Trying to have hope and faith that i can have a child later down the road. America loves to over process their foods, there use to not be so many obese people and now there is a lot more than normal, now some of those people can't help it and actually have medical issues. I hope that we can figure out a cause and get this fixed because there is something going on behind the scenes they aren't telling us.

[nastyb]

@SummerSunsets_x

PCOS at 13? That's terrible. Most people get it at least 19 to mid 20s.

Honey, just stop eating packaged foods or bottled foods. Meaning pasta sauce, store yogurts, reduce carb intake. Stop eating at restaurants and you probably even reverse your PCOS.

[nastyb]

@SummerSunsets_x

Do you realize American pasta is banned in Italy? Italian don't even want to eat our pasta

[SummerSunsets_x]

@nastyb My birth mother as well since, I am adopted she was a drug addict, and I know I got it from her because it caused a chemical imbalance in my system when I was still developing inside of her. I plan on at some time getting tested to see what other issues I might have so I can get that done and out of the way. I will have to start doing more research on these foods and stuff. I don't want my PCOS getting worse.

I had no idea that they banned American pasta in Italy, that is wild and says a lot jeez O_O

[nastyb]

@SummerSunsets_x

you can't be sure it must be that chemical imbalance. Because babies born with neonatal abstinence can be reversed or fixed. Nowadays, many young women have PCOS even being born to heathy moms. PCOS has to do with insulin resistance, too much sugar.

[Anonymous]

I'm 30, hoping to have a child within the next 5 to 6 years. Dating has always been hopeless for me. Not that no one likes me, but I just can't seem to form any feelings with most guys I meet. Meeting men is hard too. Meeting men who are willing to settle down is even harder. Maybe it's just the culture of my location where everyone loves being single.

I'm planning on becoming a single mother or maybe find another responsible person to co parent with. But truth is... it's very hard to find a genuinely good man nowadays. By good man, I mean a guy who is ambitious, has goals, makes great money, puts family first above his own needs, does housework, will be responsible father. No mental issues. Most of these married women who claim to have found their amazing husbands are just the ones who have lower standards and are more willing to overlook flaws.

If I have a baby on my own, childcare will be an issue. While I work as a police officer, I will someone to take care of it. I don't want to leave it at daycare either. Maybe the baby's father's family can help with it. I have no idea. But I am certain I will pop one out at some point.

[KindaCowardly]

you bring up some very real points and your not wrong. There is a shortage of good men these days no matter which way you look at it. I wish you the best and thank you!

[AviatorTom]

My plan, when I was younger, was to get married and have kids.

That plan was successful. Married for 20+ years and 3 kids before an amicable divorce.

[KindaCowardly]

Now thats a success in my opinion very awesome! thank you!

[RavVid]

Avoidance.

Quite simply you can't look the stats without expecting a wife to divorce you. 50% at 8 years; 60% at 10 years, at least 70% at 20 years. The thing is though there are long lead times. So while 30 year marriages are currently stable that is not to say they will be anymore 30 years on.

My prospects look much better if I don't marry. Far less expenditure and it will all be pertinent to what I want. I will end up well off if not wealthy. As opposed to divorced and impoverished.

Yeah, avoidance is my policy.

[KindaCowardly]

Hard to argue numbers you bring up. Respect. Thank you!

[RavVid]

I wish it were possible to argue with the numbers. I think it would 90% wife initiated divorces if it was adjusted for proactive forms of divorces such as refusing all sex and cheating.

[rachel776]

marriage next year, kids around age 30 (me), though we might adjust that down to 25 because Homer will be 45 when i'm 30. we might not do kids the way the world is going, or adopt so someone who needs us has a good home. we were hesitant to do kids because of our intense travel schedules, but we talked to Sofia Coppola and she said it's totally manageable, and her parents did it with her also

[KindaCowardly]

Well how can someone add on to that? sounds like y'all got the world by the tail! very good and thank you for your response!

[LazerBean]

Already married to a wonderful husband, have an adorable baby, and plan for one or two more down the road

[KindaCowardly]

How cool is that… whats it feel like to be winning in life? 🥹 I wish you all the best and thank you for the reply!

[LazerBean]

Thank you very much! I hope you find yours too ❤️

[tiredpanda]

I’m kind of indifferent about marriage, to be honest. If I meet the right person and we want to get married, I’d be happy with that but I’d also be totally okay with just living together and building a life that way. I want kids. One or two would be nice

[KindaCowardly]

Very good response and I agree on all of it actually lol thank you!

[Melody90]

I have no plans to have children, and that's a conscious choice. I'm an antinatalist, so I believe bringing new life into this world raises serious ethical questions. I don't want to become a parent simply because society expects it of me. Having children will never be part of my plans.

[KindaCowardly]

I see. Marriage on the table you think?

[Emily_griffin]

Honestly, I’d love to get married someday—to the right man, not just because I’m checking a box. ❤️ And kids? I’m open to having them if the relationship and life feel right. I’d rather build something real first. 😉

[KindaCowardly]

beautiful answer, thank you for sharing Emily!

[BCRanger10]

I'm already married with three kids. My wife and I plan and intend to have more kids in due time.

[KindaCowardly]

thats something to be proud of man! that must be awesome!

[NathanDavis]

I would not make any plans without her...

when the time comes... we will plan accordingly, together as well, lol

[KindaCowardly]

🤔 I mean that makes sense I have to say. are you married/partnered or anything?

[NathanDavis]

not engaged no... otherwise I would be planning this stuff first, lol

[Butterfly2050]

I’ll steer clear of a white boy and no sex before marriage. White marriages often fail unless his dark (Asian) fetish is around. He also doesn’t accept that without his tanning and her simultaneously bleaching, she is DARK.

[KindaCowardly]

Certainly different from other people’s responses but your preferences non the less! I respect that and thank you!

[Nikki1989]

We have been very happily married since 2010. We won't be having children.

[KindaCowardly]

That’s awesome tho I’m glad you found your one 🙂🥹 I wish you both the best! One day I’ll find my one!

[EmmaMary]

Already very happily married, and have our two extremely adorable and precious children.

[KindaCowardly]

Wonderful 🙂 thank you for responding!!

[EmmaMary]

Entirely my pleasure.

[Laulenke]

Well let’s see on the long term marriage hmmmm ok as of September 27th I have been married to my beautiful wife of 19 years now as for kids did that done that and had 2 kids one on his own and one passed away at 6 weeks now to old to have anymore

[KindaCowardly]

thank you for your response sir. you have much to be grateful for it sounds like thank you again!

[MissSunshine2]

I like kids and I want marriage but I currently lack both.

[KindaCowardly]

are you actively dating currently?

[MissSunshine2]

No I’m not. I’d like to be though. Are you?

[KindaCowardly]

I am not. If i’m being completely honest I do have a couple FWB’s I see every once in a great while but thats the extent of my love/dating life 😭 I’m 5’6” and really introverted though so dating was something I never really got much experience in.

[Anonymous]

I do want to have kids but I would like to save up a bit more. I want my children to be born with a financial stable mother. I don’t control other people’s finances.

[KindaCowardly]

What about marriage? & thank you for the comment!

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t really want to get married but I would consider dating

[KindaCowardly]

I get that. thank you!

[Lliam]

I've been happily married for 30 years and plan to remain so.
I never wanted kids.

[KindaCowardly]

very nice, thank you!

[Lliam]

@KindaCowardly. You're welcome.

[queenofcardio]

I'd eventually like to get married, don't care about having kids

[KindaCowardly]

But would you be open to them if you were to get married to your ideal partner?

[MrChinaski]

I have two kids and am technically still married.

[MrChinaski]

What are your long-term plans?

[KindaCowardly]

very nice, thank you! and me? as far as my plans I’m not sure of what I want but I used to want kids when I was younger but not as much I don’t think these days. Marriage would be very nice but of course it would have to be with the right person but I’d take kids over marriage comparably..

[LiamJHayden]

I am congenitally sterile and will not marry under current laws.

[KindaCowardly]

current laws?

[mrkdvsn]

My wife and I plan to continue our 37 year marriage, without divorce, and without kids

[KindaCowardly]

very nice! thank you, where did you guys meet?

[mrkdvsn]

At a "gay" bar. And the funny thing is that neither of us were ever "gay". She was there with a guy who WAS, and I was there with a friend who simply liked the sound system being used at that bar

[KindaCowardly]

it’s in the most unexpected of places where we meet people who end up being a big part of our lives no doubt! thank you!

[Just_Ken]

Martied with kids.

[KindaCowardly]

Your doing your part for mankind and I thank you!

[Just_Ken]

I blame sundresses

[KindaCowardly]

haha 🤣

[lilBigPotato]

Think about it when I hit 30.

[KindaCowardly]

Well I can’t argue with that! thanks you!

[Abbycado]

Yes to marriage. Probably no kids.

[KindaCowardly]

Understandable, thank you! Do you mind if I ask why the no to kids though? (or the PROBABLY no to kids I mean)

[exitseven]

Been there, done that

[KindaCowardly]

thank you!

[scott04sa22]

I don't meet the requirements of dating

[KindaCowardly]

what requirements are these?

[scott04sa22]

I'm not over 6 feet tall and don't have the looks.

[KindaCowardly]

personality at all?

[scott04sa22]

Nope, you need the looks and it's recommended to be over 6 feet tall for dating now. Welcome to modern dating.

[KindaCowardly]

I know bud I’ve felt the pain. thank you for responding and remember your worth it!

[andreasderjuengere]

To avoid it.

[KindaCowardly]

thank you!

[rgb008]

I am married

[KindaCowardly]

kids?