I'm not invited to my boyfriend's sisters' wedding?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend's older sister is getting married in 4 months. I was originally invited to her wedding and now have been uninvited. They aren't hiring catering (no sit down meal) and they told my boyfriend its because there are too many people (but I'm the only person on the list that has been uninvited). My boyfriend and I are in a committed and serious relationship and are moving in together next month and talking about getting engaged some time this year. His family knows me very well. I try so hard to be nice to her, commenting on how beautiful everything is that she's picked out and offering help with anything she needs for the wedding (this was all prior to being UNinvited). This isn't a matter of my boyfriend not wanting me there, he had a huge argument with his sister & her fiancé over it and has now pulled out of the bridal party (groomsman). He is convinced that he can change her mind and get me another invite, but I don't think I could even bare to face them as I would know its just a pity invitation and she doesn't want me there.

Also, we told his family about our plans to organise a dinner for my boyfriends birthday (its not for 2 months) but we just wanted to see if they had any ideas. I found out not long after I told her (his sister) that she decided to organise his dinner by herself and invite who she wanted and insinuated that I wasn't invited.

Is it wrong of me to feel totally cut up about this? Do I have something to worry about?

[Anonymous]

Wow, she's acting really immature. Maybe she's jealous of your relationship with her brother because it's better than hers. :lol:

Seriously, though, I would not let this get to you. You have every right to be mad and upset, I would be the same way, but you have the ability to handle the situation like an adult and not like an immature child like she is. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you upset. I would not show your anger, but do the opposite. Do not ignore her or brush her off, acknowledge her, smile when you see her, say hello, be kind. You are more mature and better than she is, and you need to show it. You obviously have a very good relationship with the rest of the family, so there is no real need to worry about your boyfriend's sister. Every family has one 'black sheep' or someone who will treat someone else badly for whatever reason. It's nothing you did, it's all the sister's fault and she needs to get over herself. Also, your boyfriend is sticking up for you and loves you, which is the most important part, IMO.

Second, the wedding. While it may hurt that you have been uninvited. I think you need to bit the bullet on this one. You said yourself that you could not bare to face her because of a pity invitation, so I would just let this one go. Send her a nice card with some flowers and a congratulations message. Again, you're being nice, more mature and more of the adult here. Ever hear of the saying you can kill people with kindness? This is what it is. You are congratulating her and showing your kindness toward her. She will be screaming inside with anger, yet she can not really do anything against you because you did nothing bad to her, you were only being nice.

Finally, about the dinner for your boyfriend, I think you should still have a party of your own. Make it special for your boyfriend and invite whoever you want (or, maybe even better, make it just the two of you). You want to do something special for your boyfriend on his birthday and you have every right to do so.

[Asker]

Im definitely more than nice to her (not fake) I always ask her how she is, hows work, hows the wedding planning going etc. and she has always been responsive and engaged me in full conversations.

Thank you for your response though! its been really helpful, insighful and given me the reasurrance I was looking for :)

[Opinion Owner]

No problem. You seem to have a great relationship with your boyfriend, so I would focus more on that as it is the most important thing, IMO.

[Anonymous]

shes immature. if I were you id just ignore it. the best revenge to a bridezilla is to not let her have the attention. just don't give her any importance or attention. be like who cares?! if anything after you and your boyfriend get married next time she won't be invited. and honestly she will look back and regret acting childish. this is something she will regret for the rest of her life considering you and your boyfriend will end up together.

[Asker]

Haha thank you! I'm glad I have such a supportive and sweet boyfriend, he completely sympathises with me, acknowledged my feels and stood up for me. At the end of the day, I will admit I'm hurt, but my boyfriend said the same thing as you... she's not invited to our wedding. I just don't understand what her problem is with me, I have tried so hard to be "friends" with her, and she's always been lovely to my face (up until now)?

[Ashley8282]

What a B...sorry.

I would staight up ask her

"I would like to talk to you about something that has been bothering me, its about the wedding. I know that I was originally invited than pulled out because there were to many people but I found out that I was the only one who was uninvited. This is bothering me because I would love to be at your wedding day. Did something happen to make you change your mind"

[Asker]

I though about that but honestly, they are the most dysfunctional family. Fights in their household are made up of screaming, yelling, things thrown, things broken, slapping and hitting. (these are the girls, not my boyfriend). My boyfriend is literally the only normal one! I originally thought that the things he told me may have been exaggerations, until I physically saw it for myself and was shocked!

[PhilaPenn]

She really didn't like you. I don't know why. I chalk it up to general female cattiness. Women can be so petty.

[Dekin]

give them all the silent treatment

[artfullyliving]

so?