Shopping & Gifts

A comparison

The other evening my female companion of many years (is it love, or just high-grade alcohol?) suggested we vary the menu around here and proposed a night of rum swillin’ (too many Blue agave derivatives I suppose, a taste that the people of Mexico blame for one of the highest birthrates in the world! Salud!!! ). A tequila haze had already claimed three people from our party. We were being smothered with intellectual conversation, and we needed to make a change before things got really ugly. I was runnin’ between the festivities and my computer trying to follow the swimsuit tirade at www.boatinggonewildusa.com. Being the adventurous type, I agreed wholeheartedly. Neither a wise nor prudent move.

Out on the patio, food was just being served. Stuffed chiles (it is chile harvest time here in New Mehico), carne asada, spicy guacamole, grilled green onions, handmade tortillas, nopales, beans, cheese, rice, salsa and posole (my recipe - the house staple), chicharrones, chicken, quesadillas, gorditos, steak, and chuletas. Cigar smoke had already cast a dim haze about the room (yum!). Someone was on the phone ordering a mariachi band. Many had started dancing before the music arrived. We were in trouble.

I walked away from the group dialing my cell phone to cancel the mariachi band and catch Webbie’s last post. But my friend Donna Nicola's sly smile grew as she commenced to open more bottles of tequila. We weren't out of the woods yet. At my ladies behest, someone else had started opening the rum.

I believe the difference lies mainly in constitution. Tequila is a vegetable product. Pure of earth. All natural. Mashed from pure Precambrian desert herb. Distant relative of the peyote button. Rum on the other hand – sugar. Of the sugar, by the sugar, for the sugar. As most of you know, sugar is not the body’s friend. Tequila enters the brain room as a well-dressed Mexican diplomat. Rum arrives like a well-armed band of destructive banditos. Tequila moves about the brain room with honor and purpose. Rum is bent only on destruction (no surprise it was a pirates brew). I believe tequila pauses only momentarily to greet the liver before moving on (my doctor might disagree with me here). Rum arrives at the liver with torches in hand and commences to burn everything in sight.

In the morning in the brain room, you find tequila has made the beds, done the dishes, and emptied the garbage, and left quietly. Rum is still there tearing holes in the wall, throwing up on the carpet, and all of the plants are dead. Most of the rum crew will still be wearing womans panties on their heads. Tequila usually travels with its other vegetable friend, the lime. Rum knows no one but sugar, a loner. Tequila is well spoken and knowledgeable. Rum is just flat rude. Trust me here.

But I have fully recovered once again; alas my woman is still sleeping a day later (latent rum disease). I wish I could encourage my good friend tequila to clean the living room as well as it does the brain room. I have no time for this task, as the boat demands immediate attention if I am to make the lake tomorrow for a day of merriment on the water.

Just thought I would pass on this little observation to the crowd here at GirlsAskGuys. Beware the rum crew. They mean you no good.
A comparison
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