My boyfriend isn't the same anymore. :'((

Question

When we started dating, he'd call me every night just to say good night, or that he misses me and or he loves me. Sometimes, we'd talk for hours on the phone when we don't get to see each other. He would give me simple gifts even though there's no occasion and on our monthsaries or on valentine's day he would give me flowers, chocolates, teddy bears & simple yet SWEET notes. We love to give each other letters too.

BUT NOW, he's completely different. I even have to ask him if he could call me just to say goodnight but he usually refuses & tells me he's sleepy or his siblings are around (BEFORE, HE DIDN'T CARE EVEN IF EVERYONE COULD HEAR HIM). He stopped sending me letters. I feel sad and weird. I'm not bored with him, I'm not "out of love" with him, but I simply feel very different. Even though he still kisses me most of the time & admits that he loves me , I'm still CONFUSED. I don't want this relationship to end.

COULD SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THIS MEANS? DOES HE STILL LOVE ME? WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Dingismaximus · Accepted Answer

Well first off what are you doing to make him happy? If you are doing a lot then great if not then check that. Also you need to see him in person and talk to him, not oever the phone, the phone can't show you the facial expressions. Its possible you just weren't showing him that you cared for or about him enough and he's upset. Before you do anything rash have a serious talk with him. Let him know you care, even give him a gift, I find this problem a lot with girls (may not be your case though) but the guy ends up show a lot more affection and emphasis in impressing the girl or making her feel good and girls will either do the standard b-day gift valentines day gift and no other gift or they will make excuses like dnt want to spend too much money when a simple card or poem or anything will show you love him (of course you must dedicate it to him too). Or other than this girls will match what their boyfriend does and many times it makes it look like they did it because they felt guilty or obligated too instead of randomly giving a gift at a time that doesn't look like it was only in response too. But if this or none of this is the case make sure you have some good talks with him especially if you really like him, you don't want to give him up just because he's not at the moment making you feel at the top of the world. That's selfish and it will kill if you found out maybe it was something else like a relative died or some major problem at home or somewhere else. Get to know the truth of the matter first, he may also just be going through his own emotional battles or may be depressed, take all of these things into consideration.

DanielSan · Accepted Answer

he doesn't have to chase you any more. before he was trying to get you now he has you so he doesn't need to chase anymore

Amybae · Accepted Answer

My relationship is like this, we date for 4 months and last week he act different, he didn't even say goodnight to me, call me, text me first or call me first but when I ask him he always say do I do love u and stuff but last week Monday he told me that he just tired and want to take a break and I don't even understand what he mean... but then this week Monday at 11:10am u text him love u boe but he couldn't get the message cuz he block me and I start to worry and feeling sad and start to think wrong... I text him and leave a message saying that"get bae why did u block me and didn't pick up my calls"but he didn't reply tho about 3 days past I feel alone and sad without him but today 12:44am I text him that I miss him I was sorry that I act stupid and stuff and I wrote 50 I miss u then he reply"goodnight sweet dreams bae"then I was so happy when I see his text and he told me"I'm just talking a break I'm not the same anymore"that when I know that we are not over but he just tired...
So I get he just wanna to take a break but can't tell u

HAPPYnLOVELY · Accepted Answer

me and my x dated for ten months. I went through the same thing you are. but I ended the relationship because he didn't try to make me as happy as he use to. what I think is that he and your boyfriend got use to the idea that we will be around for as long as they want. there is a comfort zone every couple reaches where all the lovey dovey stuff stops to a point. and guys like your boyfriend and my x they cross that line. trust me I'm sure he still loves you he just thinks there is no point to those small gestures that make us girls go crazy for them. either you stick with him and let that phase pass  because it will just takes time, or you do what I did and see what happens. just think about it and be open with him

SimulacrumJ · Answer

That is a pretty dramatic change. Is he going through a rough time, perhaps with his family? Maybe he has been stressing lately over some personal issues and he doesn't have the energy to put more effort into the relationship anymore.

Maybe you should try talking with him. I know that's a little difficult, but it's worth a try. At least you'll understand why he's acting like this.

corset-tise · Answer

I'm going through the same thing as you are. My boyfriend used to go nuts and text/call me like there was no tomorrow. But, I had been busy with school and my mom kind of got in the way and now he wanted to break up with me.

Guys are just a grown-up version of babies: immature in the head and have no clue what they want. All they know how to do is hurt/confuse someone.

It's not your fault. He might be going through some funk, like my boyfriend, perhaps.

xxGloriababyxx · Answer

Honeslty I don't know what this means but my boyfriend used to be like that to and he changed. I think mayb its because its the middle of the relationship and that's when things cool down. It really does suck but just try to talk to him about it things will change.

queen_x · Answer

I went through this before. It totally sucks. I talked to my boyfriend (my ex now) about the problem but he still treated me the same way. I felt like he lost interest in me and I was really upset. Everyday I thought of what went wrong with our relationship and it made me sick. I was really unhappy at that moment.

I agree with catheexo. Be with someone who makes you happy. But you should try to talk to him first and see how it goes :)

brunette1cookie · Answer

I think it could be that you guys are out of the 'googly-eyed' part of your relationship, and that you guys are getting more serious, and more comfortable with each other (same thing going on with me). As a girl, it feels like he's losing interest and that you don't mean anything anymore, but that's not true. It's just that he doesn't need the reassurance as much that you're in it for a while.

Anonymous · Answer

I went through the same thing. I was with my boyfriend for over a year and all of a sudden, he just stopped being his usual romantic self. It's not that he's stopped loving you, it's just that you guys have gotten out of that special lovey dovey stage that all couples have when they first start going out. Don't end the relationship right away because of this, it's totally normal

catheexo · Answer

This happend to my best friend once. All I am saying is no guy should treat a girl like she doesn't deserve to be treated. Instead of trying to make things work with this guy, look for another one. Your wasting your time being upset. You only live once!

BlakeMan · Answer

Maybe he just is tired of being in a relationship now. Sounds to me like it's time for you both to move on to bigger and better things by going your seperate ways.

rallz93 · Answer

Maybe he's not in a mood ..:(

Tphilly187 · Answer

well that's a shame

My boyfriend isn't the same anymore. :'((

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said