Boyfriend of more than 1 year didn't put effort into Christmas gift?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I exchanged Christmas gifts and I got him several sentimental gifts I put a lot of thought into. He gave me a book. I'm not a materialistic person but I would have liked something a little more romantic since we've been dating for this long...

He's never really done anything romantic for me before and doesn't seem to care about our anniversary or my birthday either.

He doesn't have much money but it's not about the cost of something, if he had made me something himself and put effort into it I would have loved that.

He's always busy with college work and we fight all the time because I feel like he seems uncaring and in his own world. I'm always complimenting him and doing things for him and I feel like he doesn't appreciate me.

I feel like this gift just proves it even more...Am I making too much of this?

Updates

+1 y

Um, I love books as well...but I always give him books randomly during the year so I would expect something more from him for a Christmas gift.

[Anonymous]

This is a standard boys vs. girls misconception. I do like you do, I question myself Why didn't he do that? Why didn't he call on that day? Why...until all my energy was wasted on stupid things. I have realized so many things with time. Let me tell you some things about guys.

Some of them are really honest and spontaneous when they love a girl. They don't deceive you by being 100% perfect knowing when to do smth and how to do it (because sometimes that's deceit to win a girl then everything changes). This type of guys are spontaneous and do whatever they think is cool. Some aren't romantic as we are thinking much about details and meanigful things. That's not lack of love but that's how they think. So, when he got you a book it was what he though was so cool. Ofcourse it can be lack of care and attention but that no one can tell you the difference. If he loves you and care about you then it's what I'm saying..they just think differently.

We girls do a big mistake and I do it as well. we EXPECT. We expect him to putt effort. We expect him to call on Saturday night, etc...It will lead to frustration and dissapointment. Because guys aren't mind readers, they don't know what we're thinking of or what we want.

So, don't expect. even it's a nice gesture that he thought of a guft for you. Again, if you feel the love and care and respect don't even think or question the gift. Also remember guys don't like it when girls show they're not good enough or they didn't get the right gift or they didn't call, etc...

All what means is the love and respect you both share . and remember people think differently and you should accept that.

Merry Christmas :)

[toulouse]

I love books -would've been really happy with a book. I don't expect something just because I might want it- that's being really immature & I don't want any of the things you mentioned. I am a woman so maybe you could say I instead of 'women' -its a pretty demeaning way to describe half the population. Not all women waste time thinking about details& lots of guys do as well, plus those are only insignificant if you don't understand them, people do do things for a REASON whether they know it or not.

[Opinion Owner]

Since you give him books he sure thought you'd love a book. Girl, he loves you!

[toulouse]

he got you a book, maybe he thought the book was awesome, I think books are awesome& they last a lot longer than other things because the story becomes a part of - I think you're a bit melo -dramatic. Next time don't spend so much tome on his gifts, if you are going to treat it quid pro quo.

giving gifts is supposed to be a gift not getting them- id say your heart left off where your ego took over,

[Anonymous]

May you are making too much of this. Perhaps spending too much on him. Love shouldn't always come with a price. What little he does for you may be his best. However, he does need an up-grade on giving you gifts. Not to say that what he given is nothing but to say that he need to go for broke at times for the woman he love. Maybe you should taking him out shopping with you some times and show him certain things that you wish you can get or mention to him occasionally, a couple of things you would like for your birthday. Maybe he'll surprise you with the gift. Please don't be too expensive. Find out whenever he have a break from his college work, have a date set up where it's something he'll like. Maybe he'll want to do it more often after he see how much fun he been missing.