Why didn't my boyfriend acknowledge my gift?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend was having a really bad day, so as a surprise I went to a local sandwich place and picked up his very favorite sandwich. I biked to his house and left it on his doorstep with a simple little note, pretty much just saying he was a good guy and I was happy I knew him. Nothing too serious or over-the-top, right?

I text him and tell him to go to his front door; he tells me he isn't home yet, but will be in 30. We're texting about the surprise I left him as he's on his way home. Later, he gets online. I ask if he's home, and he just says "Yep." We talk for a while more; he never acknowledges the surprise sandwich at his doorstep.

There's no way he couldn't have gotten it. It was right on his doorstep, and he was expecting it, so if it wasn't there, wouldn't he have told me?

I'm really pretty bummed out because I thought the gesture would put a smile on his face. Even if he was feeling grumpy or not in the mood for a sandwich couldn't he have acknowledged it or given me a quick "Thanks"?

A friend of mine suggested that maybe he felt like it was too much too soon (we've been dating for one month) and that maybe it was a turn-off because it made me seem "too available." Someone tell me what's going through my boyfriend's head please?

[Arwens-Fire]

Either someone was hungry and stole the sandwich,or he is just being immensely inconsiderate by not acknowledging the very sweet gesture. You pointed out that he would have mentioned it if it wasn't there. Very true. If I were you I would bring it up and express my feelings or at least inquire why he said nothing. Why? Because you don't want to become passive aggressive towards him,or...not want to do something else nice for him in the future. Or,worse case scenario,you do something nice,and then he doesn't acknowledge it...AGAIN. So talk to him. Btw,dont listen to your friend.Playing games can backfire. If your boyfriend received the yummy sandwich and said nothing,hes just RUDE...talk to him. Good luck! :)

[curiouschica]

I agree with one of the other posters...someone might have thought it was trash and thrown it away. Don't judge him too quickly. Not that big a deal... =p

[Asker]

But we were talking about it up until he was like, 2 minutes from his house. He knew it would be there. If it wasn't there, why didn't he mention it? There was also a big note attached to it saying that it was a sandwich and who it was for.

[whitewolf]

maybe on a better day he would have thanked you and stuff but I'm just thinking out loud here but if I had a really awful day the rest of the night id feel like numb inside like everything sucks and I don't want to talk to anyone or do anything and as nice as the gesture with the sandwhich was it probably wouldn't make me feel any better, id no it was something nice my girlfriend got for me but at the time it would hardly matter to me because of the awful day I had, when he was talking to you he was probably out of it and so his side of the conversation was just superficial so either he never bothered to thank you or he didn't even think about it, but he had an awful day so try cutting him some slack ok

[conscience]

Well could some random person have stolen the sandwich from the doorstep (possible? I don't know what type of house he lives in).

Even if he did get the sandwich, he should've at least told you SOMETHING about it, I don't see any reason to ignore the friendly gesture, he could've at least said "thanks" or something.

Anyway, just ask him if he liked the sandwich, if he says he doesn't know what sandwich you're talking about then tell him it was the one you left on the doorstep with the note. If he still doesn't know then something must have happened to it. I don't see how I could ignore something like my favorite sandwich being left on my doorstep by my girlfriend.

Good Luck!

[Kaboom]

I would only do that If I was hitting the breaks on the relationship. Sounds to me he was taken back by the notion , saw it as a sign you are really into him and want to get serious and he's not sure if he wants to or not, and therefore doesn't want to dive in too deep. Just my 2 cents. That's the only reason I would not acknowledge it.

[destroyer]

Guys don't always pick up on this stuff then women freak out that they don't notice things, especially when women change their hair color or get a new outfit or something. Sometimes you have to spell it out to us by saying to him directly ' I got you a sandwich '

I wouldn't ever consider getting a sandwich a turnoff, when women bring me sandwiches I am always more attracted to them

[BrianSmith]

Say something hmmm I'm hungry. You know a sandwich would be great about now.

[bioweapon154]

That would be dumb. Suggestions like that never work.