Fiance lies to his family that he is a religious Muslim, is this a bad sign?

[Anonymous]

He tells them he goes to the mosque every so often to make them happy. He says he’s religious when he isn’t. He's told me if his family ask what religion his children will grown up in, say to them they’ll follow their dad.

Is this a red flag?

[TommyMountainFigure]

I've yet to experience a Muslim who tells the truth. Apologies if that offends anyone, but that's just my experience of picking them up in the taxi.

They will tell me one thing, and be on the phone a few minutes later (or before) telling their wives or their families something very different! It's usually about alcohol or going to casinos.

Muslims aren't meant to gamble, or drink alcohol by all accounts, yet they make a joke of telling me what would happen to them if they did so back home!

Once again, apologies to anyone this offends, but it's all true!

[TommyMountainFigure]

@asker/ I read below you're going abroad with him to meet his family.. May I ask what country?

[Asker]

Hi, Egypt. L

[Asker]

Ignore the L lol. I’m just hoping his family will accept me

[TommyMountainFigure]

Firstly, I hope more than anything it works out as you planned. BUT, I hope you don't mind me playing Devil's Advocate here. What if he hasn't told his family, and they blame you for leading their son astray. You do realise, women have been stoned to death after being reported to the authorities for just that.
I suggest you have a conversation on cam with his parents, from the safety of your own country first! You need to know they are on board with this relationship, or the could make your life hell once you are in their country.

Please promise me you'll do as I've advised.

[Asker]

I’ve spoken to his brothers over the phone a little, I see his family liking posts my fiance puts up of us, so I feel ok ok that front.

My fiance said they are very friendly people but it is a smaller part of Egypt and I’ll be staying in their home, hopefully everything will be fine!

[theycallme_jd]

I'm a Muslim, and the last part you mentioned is true from our faith. Muslim men are allowed to marry Christian women, and the children growing up will follow the religion of the father. But lying to his family to maintain that he's religious is really wrong and something I'm worried about for you. He's following his religion "culturally" as someone else mentioned, and I really think this could bring up problems in the future. Without question, lying is a major red flag, and if you're ready to be with him, you're ready to be with his personality, and the fact that he's hiding stuff from his family. Maybe you could also be pulled in to maintain the act?

[Asker]

That’s what I’m worried about. He says his family accepts me as a Christian woman. But I don’t know if later down the line he’ll try to get me to lie. They live far away though , so I assume interference will be at a minimum

[theycallme_jd]

Have you spoken to his parents yourself? Have they spoken to you considering you a Christian? Getting you to lie would be something really bad, you wouldn't want to live on lies. And them living far away doesn't change anything, you guys will certainly meet sometime sooner or later and if there's a lie between, it's gonna be REAL ugly. You should consider that in my opinion.

[Asker]

His family lives in Egypt, we’re going to visit them soon. My fiance says they are very laid back. I’ve spoken a little to his brothers over the phone but I can’t speak Arabic so it was to a minimum. If they are respectful of me and don’t ask nosy questions I will be fine with them, but I’m worried they’re going to ask prying questions. My fiance says they are harmless but I’m worried being out there on my own as a white redhead Christian female if my way of life or the fact that I won’t to please them will put me in danger

[theycallme_jd]

Good luck to you then, I understand the situation you're in, but as long as you're going to sort it all out, I feel it's going to be fine. You have time, and don't rush into anything, think through the whole thing, ask what you have in mind. Wish you good luck again. :)

[Asker]

Thank you!

[theycallme_jd]

You're welcome, mate

[DishLady]

On the one hand. It’s hard to break that news to your family, who lived and raised you… on the other hand, those who are here face a great deal of cultural and social overload so eventually something’s gotta give. This issue is ultimately going to catch up with him… Wither he has to fess up to his family OR ditch you and “reform” to the expectations….


Fair warning bc this happened to a dear friend… he may be telling you this to prep you for being ultimately dumped because you’re perhaps a “temptation” and Mama has someone from back home waiting to be matched with him. This happens fairly often… just watch your heart.

[sheikalana]

There are a few things you need to understand when dating a muslim and this is one of them. Some muslim families can be pretty strict and expect their children to follow what they believe in. By what you wrote it makes me believe that his family would expect him to marry a muslim woman too and to be fair with you a lot of muslim men would 'date' non-muslim women just for fun or to see how far they can go but in the end they never marry her. I'm not saying this is the case but is something you should know.

[Asker]

I was worried about that, but he says his family is ok with him dating a Christian woman

[sheikalana]

I would not be so sure until I actually meet his family and he introduces me as a partner and not as a friend. I hope he's being honest with you.

[Asker]

He’s told his family about me and we’re going abroad to meet him family in a few weeks. I am abit worried if they don’t accept me tbh

[sheikalana]

That's a good sign. But I would tell him that I feel insecure and that you're afraid they may not accept you. I would also ask him if he's going to introduce you as a partner or as friend as dating in Islam is considered haram.

[WindAtMyBack]

The family can have a HUGE influence. If you marry him, you marry his family. You might not be getting into what you think you are. If he is lying to them, eventually they will find out. He may be lying about you also, and telling them you are Muslim. His family could seriously interfere with your life. It won't be your own.

He wants you to lie to them also. Are you going to live your entire life as a lie?

So yes, it's a major red flag.

[spartan55]

Shit, I would do the same thing. I understand that the 'being shunned by the family' thing due to religion is very real in the Muslim community. Your fiance is lying to keep the familial piece, which I can get with.

[SotiCoto]

If he isn't those things then that is vastly better than actually being them.
But as a general rule, anyone from a muslim family is a write-off even if they aren't fully on-board with it. It means they're still culturally muslim, and that is still a problem. It can take generations to purge that kind of filth out.

[theycallme_jd]

I can smell the hate

[Avicenna]

Yeah, there's no way this ends well. You don't want a relationship based on deception of his family, who will almost certainly expect their son/brother's wife to become an observant Muslim since she's marrying a putatively observant Muslim.

[Radiate143]

Yes. Anyone who is two-faced is toxic regardless of religion. His family knows he full of it. A lot of cultural people only care about the facade and not the substance.

[patois]

Muslims literally claim that their god is the best deceiver and you find it unusual that a Muslim would lie? It's a core belief of Islam.

[Radiate143]

You should not speak on things you know nothing about.

[patois]

@Radiate143 I know Islam pretty well. Enjoy your stay in hell, Baʻal worshiper.

[patois]

@Radiate143 According to the Lord Jesus, Baal is another name for Satan. The Muslim sources affirm that Hubal was the chief deity of Mecca and the god of the Kabah. As the high god, Hubal would have inevitably been called Allah since that is the title which the pagans would have given to their chief presiding deity. The scholarly literature affirms that Hubal was none other than the false god Baal. This means that Baal was the Allah worshiped by the pagans at Mecca. And since Baal is another name for Satan, this shows that the Allah of the Quran is none other than Satan disguising himself as the God of Abraham.



You've chosen to worship Satan... You yearn for hell. Quaran chapter 19:71-72 assures you that you will not escape it.

[patois]

[WhitneySnow]

Not a huge red flag, because at least he isn’t a fundamentalist, but it makes me wonder what else he’s lying to you about if he lies to them so easily

[Radiate143]

A truly religious Muslim is better than this spineless guy. He stands for nothing.

[Anonymous]

You are asking all of the wrong questions. Go over to the Youtube channel called 'TheArchive' watch any of their videos and then ask yourself if you want anything to do with any of it...

[Summeroflove]

Yes when anyone is pretending to be someone they’re not it’s a major red flag.

[Summeroflove]

If he will do it to his family he will do it to you

[avery58]

I don't think it's a red flag, he doesn't want to lose his family

[handsomelad70]

Yes, because it shows he isn't honest and/or mature enough to tell his parents he lacks their devotion. Take that under advisement re. your relationship with him.

[Pohjolan]

Its a bad sign in that he is afraid of his family would react. Either break up or convince you fiance to get the hell out of dodge.

[Anonymous]

This is bad is he even still a muslim if he is not a muslim please dont tell his family they might cut away from him.

[Tamera952]

Yes 100% red flag — a bad sign.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Beats being declared an apostate.

[laly520]

lying is major red flag

[SecurelyInsecure]

depends on the situation I guess

[OddBeMe]

Marry the atheist.

[impalabill77]

I think it is.

[dfdfdffffdfdf]

not to me