Should I be upset that my boyfriend didn’t get me a Christmas gift, or am I overthinking it?

[Anonymous]

We've been together for over a year now. I was so excited to make him a special gift for Christmas, and he loved it, but when I asked him about my gift, he admitted he didn't get me anything. Not even a card. Why? Our anniversary was right before Christmas and he said he couldn't think of any ideas, but he still managed to buy gifts for his family and friends. He said he looked at a store I liked but didn't buy anything because it wasn't what he expected. I'm not a materialist, but after all the effort I put into his gift, I can't help but feel hurt. How would you feel about this?

[blueonblack22]

Thats weird. At best he might be used to not getting anyone gifts for Christmas (and vice versa). Either that he was so busy he didn’t think of it. There is a true story of Elon Musk being so busy around Christmas he forgot to get his wife a gift. Then he went barefoot in snow in Boulder, CO on Christmas Day looking for any store that was open to her her something.

Those are the best case scenarios. But has he been thoughtful on other occasions? Like your birthday? If he’s been decent otherwise then I would just let this go.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable to feel disappointed if you were expecting a gift, especially if gift-giving is something you value in your relationship. However, whether you should be upset depends on the context. Does your boyfriend usually get you gifts, or is this unusual behavior for him? Are there other factors, like financial concerns or personal preferences, that might explain his actions?

If you feel comfortable, it could be helpful to express how you’re feeling. Sometimes, talking about expectations and intentions can clarify misunderstandings or reveal other reasons for his actions. It's also important to consider the bigger picture of your relationship and how you both typically show care for each other, in ways beyond material gifts.

[Paris13]

Extremely hurt!!! He is Making lame Dick excuses Because He feels you May not Be the Real Deal for Him. I would Rethink this Dink!!! No love Here, dear. xxoo

[Paris13]

Tanks, Gag. xxoo

[LonelyHsoul]

Sounds to me that's he's not into you as much as you are with him.

I mean a gift for Christmas to your partner, any gift, even it it's something you didn't like or was dissapointed with is still a gift.

Sounds like he didn't care as much to even try.

Has anything like this happened before, I'm not talking gift wise but something he may not of put the effort in.

Did he do anything for your anniversary like at the very least take you to dinner?

[Finchie40]

Yea that’s weird , I could see if you both were together for a long time but after a year and he didn’t get you anything? That’s messed up , you have every right to feel hurt and upset that he didn’t , Dump him

[exitseven]

Yes, he should have made more of an effort.

[trainer]

You’re not overthinking it you’re just realizing that while you were excited to give a thoughtful gift, he couldn’t even put in the effort for a card. He could buy gifts for everyone else but didn’t think enough of you to do the same. It’s not about being materialistic; it’s about respect and effort. If he couldn’t even try, maybe it’s time to question how much you really mean to him.

[Asker]

Thank you for your honest perspective! You're absolutely right it’s about respect and effort, not materialism.

[molonski2]

This is EXACTLY why I don't exchange gifts , in the scheme of things it means nothing , this element that has been added to a " feeling of goodwill " it's an evil expectation.
Drop it and forget about it.

[silvermoon84]

If it were only a few months that you were together it wouldn’t be a huge deal however, since it’s been a year the least he could have done was get you a gift card or at least cooked you a special Christmas breakfast or something.

[teguy]

You’re not overthinking it he clearly put effort into getting gifts for others but didn’t bother for you. It’s not about materialism; it’s about effort and consideration. If he truly cared, he would’ve found something to show appreciation, even a handwritten note. This shows where you stand on his priority list. Have a serious talk, but also ask yourself: do you really want to be with someone who makes you feel this way?

[Asker]

Thanks for advice

[flower]

It’s completely understandable to feel hurt, especially since you put effort into his gift. It’s not about the gift itself but feeling valued. Try having an open conversation with him let him know how it made you feel without accusing him. If he truly cares, he’ll make an effort to understand and do better next time. If this is a pattern, it might be worth considering if your love languages align.

[Asker]

You're right it's more about feeling valued than the gift itself.

[Oldschool1981]

Geez, he should have got you something. Not only did I get my wife something but I also got her new side guy a gift as well. They recently "made it official" so I sent them on holiday to the Bahamas to celebrate.

[WhitneySnow]

I’d be hurt too, but I think you guys can work through this. Just tell him why you’re upset and I’m pretty sure he won’t do it again next year.

[Kelley1]

You are difficult and you are not girlfriend material.

[midnightmoon05]

Cause you are not his girlfriend?
how did you two became bfgf?

[orange_roach]

She did state they’ve been together for a year.

[midnightmoon05]

@orange_roach
that means nothing…
His actions tells more

[Iron_Man]

Well of course he should’ve wished you a merry Christmas and got you a present and even showed up on Christmas Day

[Brandi555]

Oh I’d definitely be upset. He doesn’t have to spent a lot of money but just get something. It’s the thought.

[Staximus]

He could have at least got you something, even something small. What a fucking bum

[Anonymous]

he should have bought you a dildo and then broke up with you

[orange_roach]

A whole year is plenty of time to figure out what your partner likes. So sounds like an excuse.

[Lynx122]

I think it's fair to be upset.

[fantasticass]

Dump him... he's narcissistic

[slatyb]

Hurt. Not a priority in his life.

[MoonFace2]

I’d be offended.

[DrPepper12]

🚨🚨🚨✋🏻✋🏻✋🏻🛑🛑🛑🧱🧱🧱🚫🚫🚫🚩🚩🚩

[KrakenAttackin]

Yeah, that's shitty.

[Wise4myage]

No, he's a cheap bastard.

[Anonymous]

Why do women always choose guys like this?

[orange_roach]

I can ask the same question about men always choosing gold diggers. But, y’all are not ready to talk about that yet 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

That's fucked up

[KittygosMeoWW]

Yes red flag

[David5668]

Yep, you should

[In_Trance]

Overthinking

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆