Girlfriend told me she wants to not be exclusive.

[Anonymous]

My "girlfriend" told me she wants to be less serious and non exclusive after her last boyfriend was a complete tool but she wants to date me and there's not another guy involved. I trust her and things are going okay but if we're not being exclusive should I consider other women as well? She seems set that she doesn't want to be in a relationship or exclusive or serious, so should I use this as an opportunity to make sure waiting for her to be ready for commitment is what I want or should I stay with just her and wait out what ever she's going through? I don't want to be a man whore or anything but if she's having doubts about her and I or isn't ready to be together I'm not sure if being narrow on the situation is in my best interest.

[bobair]

Trust me on this...

1) She WILL want to be exclusive once you start dating other women, unless she's actually trying to break up with you. The best way to find out is to date other chicks NOW.

2) If you're not dating other girls while dating her you're going to act and behave needy, likely without realizing it. Why? Because she'll have ALL of your attention and she'll know it. But if you're dating other girls she'll only have some of your attention, which will make your value climb fast.

3) Don't buy into her story, what she's really saying is that she's not ready to be serious. Now you have to decide if that's good enough for you. This is especially important if you're already having sex because it becomes a dangerous game for both people to be sleeping with multiple partners unless everyone's being "safe" about it. So be safe dude.

4) Girls will often want to take a step back when they feel the guy is WAY more into it then they are. So definitely stop smothering her in any way. This means you don't text or call her everyday, and you don't grab and cuddle and lean into her as much.

Give her space. Give her the gift of missing you.

And date other chicks asap.

:)

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

[Asker]

How would a girl know if a guy is dating more than one girl? Like going out of your way to tell her "Hey I'm going out with x tonight" might seem like you're just trying to p*ss her off and I haven't met very many girls that were like "Hey you going out tonight with anyone?" so it seems like it would be hard for her to find out. Unless you're in a committed relationship for years then she suddenly knows the second you talk to another girl but that's a different story lol.

[bobair]

She might not "know" you're dating other girls, but you would. Therefore you're not going to fall all over yourself returning her calls, text messages, or emails.

You'll have a feeling of "I'm busy and valuable to many women" instead of "I need to make this one girl like me."

You'll act differently without knowing it, and she'll FEEL that difference.

This is about YOU, not her. :D

[chris88]

we always over think women. They're not as complicated as the movies make the out to be. Chix are quite simple...any kind of "I'm just not ready blah blah" setence means she's hittin' the road. You have only one option...agree with the breakup, move on with your life. She might comeback at somepoint if she knows you're strong, indepdend, successful...women are attracted to that. hang out and wait for her, you'll loook like a puppy waiting at the table for scraps. There's no way to turn a woman off faster than neediness.

[adamretex81]

man you're so f ing right its not even funny. had to read some of your comments after you answered one of my questions.

[star2128]

well you have to understand that when you get out of a hard relationship with someone, that being that serious with someone else is the hardest thing to do, even if that's what you really want with that person. she said that there isn't another guy involved, so no, don't go out and date other girls unless you are breaking up with her. she is trying to get her thoughts and emotions together because to me, it looks like she really likes you. but it all really depends on how long you two have been together. if yall haven't been together that long and she's doing this, maybe she's trying to figure out if she can handle beingin another relationship. if yall have been together a while, mabye she is seeing yall going down the same road as her and the other guy and she doesn't want that so she doesn't know if she can handle still being with you. give her some time. and if she is still doing his in a few weeks then ask her if she is better off not being with you. until then, support her and be there for her and talk to her! if you aren't the type of guy who wants to sit around and wait and actually be supportive, then leave her and move on. its your choice.

[TheoryOfAvarice]

Well you need to decide what it is you want from her. Like if you want some commitment and a relationship, then it doesn't sound like she's the girl for you, and waiting around or whatever probably won't do anything.

Once you decide what you want, you need to express that to her, and be unmoving. Compromise is definitely important when it comes to relationships, but that's only once your relationship is established. If the two of you can't agree on what sort of relationship you want to be in, then it's just not going to work out. If she wants to hang onto you but then occasionally go to other guys whenever she wants, then you like can't expect her to be all that dedicated to you...

I don't know, like I said, it depends on what you want. It doesn't sound like a very ideal situation to me, but then again I've never really seen the point of open / non-exclusive relationships. It's like you might as well not even be dating if you're going to have one main person but then like multiple other people on the side.

But just think on it dude. Hope everything works out for the best.

[destroyer]

Not being exclusive means you can date or f*** whoever else you want without having anyone to justify it to