Girlfriend Wants To Be Alone - I don't!

[Anonymous]

So my girlfriend and I have been apart for about a month. She says she wants to be alone for now and for a while. I'm still upset she wouldn't give me a second chance - the reason we broke up wasn't a huge fight or anything. I was too being demanding of her time which after she broke up with me I realized and I told her everything I realized I was doing wrong. I also apologized and I really do see things totally different now. I would never handle things like I did again.

The problem is she won't even entertain giving me a second chance to prove it. I want to respect her request to just be alone so she doesn't feel tied down, but I also really want her back because I love her and to prove to her I have and can change. She means the world to me and this kills me.

How do I go about getting her back?

Updates

+1 y

The month we've broken up we haven't talked a lot. I tried earlier on to get to reconsider which was probably too soon and I hadn't realized what I had done wrong yet. Then I talked to her and told her all the things I realized I did wrong.

Updates

+1 y

Other than that we haven't talked a lot. She has texted me a couple times and other than that I haven't contacted her - trying to give her space.

[KweenKrunkk420]

Chances are, you can't get her back. Any strong female is smart enough not to go back to a guy who trys to demand her to do things. If she wants to be on a break now and for a while, when she is ready to be with a man it will more than likley be with someone else. If you love her let her go, give her, her space and see how things will go from there. Try talking to her in person and see if she still even feels love for you. But, if she wanted to be with you and loved you, she would be back with you, if she doesn't, you won't get her back.

[Asker]

I agree with what you're saying. I wasn't demanding her to do things. We were long distance for a while and I guess I tried to keep in contact too much. She felt like I was demanding too much of her time. I just don't know how to talk to her about this without it seeming like I'm clingy because that was a problem and honestly I don't feel like I did before. I see my mistakes.

[KweenKrunkk420]

Since you can admit your mistakes, I don't see how she could still be hardheaded about everything. It takes a lot for any person to admit their wrong, and you doing so is a great thing, so props to that! But maybe this girl just found someone else. Or she was too smothered to the point where she just couldn't handle it anymore, but admiting your are wrong is a great thing, and look on the plus side that you did well with the situation. Thinking positive about things always helps a lot.

[Asker]

Yeah, I think it's mostly she felt a little smothered and it wore her down. I just feel so stupid seeing things from the outside now. I didn't even realize what I was doing until the breakup. Our relationship would be so different now and for the better.

[KweenKrunkk420]

Well if things work out for the two of you, then it could be perfect now. If not, you'll at least know in the future to keep a distance with a female, let her miss you. She'll come running to you when she feels she needs or wants to. And good luck with everything!

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice. I've have been keeping my distance, trying to let her miss me. I haven't contacted her or made myself available at all this week - been keeping busy with friends.

[Anonymous]

I had a guy do something similar to me and honestly, giving her her space is really the best thing you can do.. After you told her how you felt and why, as well as what you learned, if she does't make it clear she's interested, move on to someone who is. I don't know how bad your situation got, but in some cases it doesn't matter how much you learn from a break up or how stupid you tell her you were being, she can't look at you the same way she used to.

[Asker]

It wasn't too bad, but I definitely can see what you mean. She keeps in contact and tells me she misses me and loves me. That making it even more confusing.

[Asker]

What happened in your case? did you or he give you a second chance?

[Opinion Owner]

He was the one who acted like that, but if your wasn't that bad, he was a lot more extreme. I really just can't look at him the same way anymore. He was a sweet talker, but he had this side that just got to be too much. He says he learned and we're kind of friends, but he wants to be more still and I just could never see doing that again.

[Asker]

Aha. So he pretty much ruined it. Well I don't think it was that bad. I never treated her bad or told her what she can and can't do. I just tried to keep in contact too much. Didn't do my own thing enough and didn't give her enough space to do her stuff. She might see it different. All I can do is try now and move on if nothing happens. Thanks.

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck! I hope it works out!

[mormongirlmichl]

Honestly, take what you've learned in this relationship and move on to someone who will give you a chance... Plus, there are a lot of girls who would like it if their boyfriend spent more time with them! I don't want to be harsh, but you really need to move on.

Good luck!

[Asker]

I'm at the point where I could move on, but I really want to try and make things right. If this doesn't work I'll definitely be better off in my next relationship. Thanks.

[paxtonfun]

"I want to respect her request to just be alone so she doesn't feel tied down, but I also really want her back because I love her and to prove to her I have and can change. She means the world to me and this kills me."

i suggest you talk to her and tell her exactly the same.

if she still has feelings for you you may get a chance.

if you should get that chance it´s a clear thing that you will have to work on your behavior and be less clingy and respect her feelings.

[Asker]

She said she still loves me and misses me the last time we talked. I'll give it a shot telling her this in a few days. I'm trying to let her be alone now and not contacting her. I'll definitely work on it. The break-up has floored me and I was acting pretty stupid. Thanks for the comment.