Girlfriend telling me to she wants to be left alone? HELP?

[Anonymous]

I’m 21 my girlfriend is 19 we were best friends for 3 years. Now we have been together for almost 10 months.
In the beginning it was an awesome relationship. We’d be ourselves, show each other affection, etc.. Now my girlfriend is telling me to leave her alone and that she just isn’t happy in general. But, I ask her if she still loves me and she says Yes. She’ll still kiss me when I ask for kiss. There’s 7 days in a week out of those 7 days we see each other for 4 Days the other days are school & work.

She says she wants to have alone time which I feel like she does get but she still wants alone time even when it’s time for us and I hate it because when she gets in her “Leave me alone” mood she’ll ignore me and just be on her phone scrolling through social media. She’s even told me to go home after I travel an hour by car to see her. And she recognized that it’s messed up of her to say that but that she wants to be alone. I hate it because she has it like a Queen with me. I’ve never done her wrong, flowers every month, great relationships of benign with your best friend. And she says she recognizes it all but says she wants to be left alone. And that she was happier before me because she got to be alone. I’ve been fighting with her for days over this I don’t know what else to do. Any advice?

[DinaM]

... that actually sounds like me in some of my relationships.

But then I'm an introvert... I like being with people, but it drains my energy, and sooner or later I'm just exhausted and I NEED some alone time. And then I just want to sit and scroll through web pages or read books or do things on my own, just to recharge. Doesn't mean I don't still love the people in my life, but right then I just don't have the energy to deal with them.

And with my friends, it doesn't really matter that much. I don't have to see them every single day; we usually meet up like once a week and maybe occasionally a couple of us go out shopping or to a festival or something, outside this... and then I'm fine; I'm chatting and laughing and having a great time.

But it gets a little different when things are romantic. All of a sudden you're supposed to be together with someone every day, and as I discovered, I can't keep that up indefinitely.

It goes fine in the beginning... then I start yearning for some alone time. I want the weekend to myself, just be alone and not have to talk to anyone... and then when the boyfriend shows up I feel all tired and depressed and think "aw, not again." And then I feel guilty because I do love the guy and I don't want to reject him, or hurt his feelings, but I don't have the energy to socialise, and I get more and more emotionally exhausted trying to pretend that I do.

I don't know your girlfriend, if she has the same problem. But if she does... then it's not because she doesn't love you, or because you've done anything wrong... it's because socialising drains her batteries and she can't recharge them unless she's alone. Unfortunately being her boyfriend doesn't mean you're the exception.

In which case... there's not a whole lot you can do about it, other than giving her the space she needs. Trying to force herself to spend time with you when she's drained will just exhaust her more and she'll just feel more miserable.

At least that was how I felt it.

[Anonymous]

Im a girl and even myself sometimes want to be alone. Being alone doesn't necessarily mean that she doenst want you anymore.
Most of the time I say i want to be alone, in reality I would want my boyfriend to be there for me. You guys have been bestfriends for 3 years so you know the girl. Something has to be bothering her. Instead of trying to see what you re doing wrong etc etc try to see if she has something wrong, maybe she is stressed or worried about someone. Knowing that there is someone there helps. Dont just break it off! As you said you are in this loving relationship with your bestfriend. If you really want it t work out , work for it and be there for her. If you see that she is still the same, be honest to her. Goodluck

[Anonymous]

Every relationship needs to be given a break sometimes. First ask her if there is something wrong whether in the way u treat her or if something you have said hurt her. Then if she says it's nothing like that and if she's not stressed out of anything ask her how much time she needs and that you will miss her. First few days alone will be normal but eventually she will miss your presence.
I think being alone for a while brings me closer to my boyfriend and I learn to appreciate him more
Hope it works for u

[Opinion Owner]

I sincerely hope she's not dating someone or interested in someone else

[Digital_Fruit_37]

The obvious thing she's telling you is she wants to be left alone. I was with someone just like that and I know how hard it can be. The only thing you can do is leave her alone. Pushing yourself will make things worse. And you will appear to be needy. Unfortunately this is usually a lose lose situation. This is a sign from most that the interest is lost. It's a gamble at this point. As much as it sucks you can't force someone to be with you. Women often do this so you will break up with them so they don't hurt you. But

[Digital_Fruit_37]

If you push yourself she will push back. If she's getting 3 days a week without you then to me the space crap is crap. Be strong. Don't be needy. Be the man. Give her her space because fighting it is a loosing battle. Just let her know you understand (even if you don't) and let her contact you when she's ready. Do other things to keep you busy and keep your mind off of it.

[Digital_Fruit_37]

But I my case this was an ongoing thing and got to the point I wasn't going to put up with it. So many people I have seen trying to have that big serious relationships at such a young age. Often people have trouble settling at 19. If you want it to work only you know what you can handle and what you can't. Be patient. See what happens because really there's not much you can do. Give space. Make her miss you.

[GatorBomb]

Move on she doesn't want to be with you anymore. I'd end it. Sorry you had to deal with that.

[false]

Break up obviously.
at least then you'll get to see if she really wanted to be alone or with someone else

[Juxtapose]

Get a new girlfriend. If she's giving you s*** this early on it's hopeless.