Is it normal during a relationship, a guy wants his space from his girl?

[Anonymous]

I have seen this done from my family members to my loud neighbors. Of the guy telling his girlfriend/wife he “wants to be left alone.”

That he’ll:

-sleep in the guest bedroom with the door locked

-go outside and hangout with his buddies

-work overtime at his job. So he doesn’t go home

Is this common normal guy behavior?
Have you ever witnessed/experienced this?

[Romulus8817]

Aight so:

- Yeah, it's normal for anyone, regardless of gender, to need alone time. Especially if that person has mental health conditions. For example, I have ADD. I get overwhelmed pretty easily, and I need at least one day a week to myself after work. Fortunately my girlfriend respects that and lets me have my time. If I don't have my one day, I feel like I'm going to come apart at the seams. I cannot help that.

- Sleeping alone? I can't answer for that, it's not something I do, but maybe it's his coping method. Locking the door makes me think "alone time" = "time to jerk off", which honestly is fine too in a relationship. You cannot deny a human a natural human urge. Period. No questions asked. Just accept that your partner jerks off.

- "Go outside and hang with his buddies". You can't be serious, right? We're allowed to spend time with our friends when we're in a relationship.

- Work overtime: Maybe he's trying to earn more money for a surprise vacation or gift? Not everything has a malicious intent. Or maybe he spends more time at work because he feels like he's being smothered.

All of the things you've listed make me think he feels like he's being smothered by his significant other, which is something he or she needs address with themselves.

[Anonymous]

It is definitely not normal behavior in a committed, happy, and healthy relationship. If the guy wants to sleep in separate rooms, hangs out with his friends really often to avoid you, or works late so he doesn't have to see you at home, something is seriously wrong. I am very happily married to my wife and I would never tell her "I need space". I love my wife and she is the most important person in my life. My wife is my first priority above everything else. I love sleeping next to her. I do hang out with friends but I am with my wife most of the time and I actually like being with her a lot more. I also specifically looked for a job where I wouldn't have to work long hours because I want to spend the majority of my time with my wife. We have what people would call a "true love" relationship, so we might be closer than most couples, but it still isn't normal to avoid your wife. There are three main possible reasons why he might be avoiding his wife/girlfriend. The most common reason he is avoiding his wife/girlfriend could be that he is very angry at her and might be considering a divorce or break up. The second reason might be that he is gay and is avoiding her because he doesn't know how to tell her that he is not attracted to her and likes men (especially if he won't sleep in the same bed or have sex). The final reason might be that he is cheating on her with another woman and is spending time with her while he is out.

[Opinion Owner]

One other possible reason he might be avoiding his wife/girlfriend is that he isn't mature enough to handle a serious committed relationship and doesn't want to be tied down.

[JCrockett]

That is normal, too a degree. But if it goes too far, that's a sign he's not happy with the relationship. Sleeping elsewhere (especially if it's often) and deliberately avoiding her, that's pretty bad. But if she insists on being ever present, its reasonable for him to sometimes actively seek alone time. It depends on how each partner is acting. If she's smothering him, then he's justified. But if he says she's smothering him when she's not, he's the one with the problem.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's absolutely common. It's also a trope in family based sit-coms, because everyone can relate to it.

[Patty61446]

Wow yea I wonder how common that is for married couples to spend most of their time apart and to possibly sleep in separate rooms.

[Anonymous]

He wants out