Do people who refuse gifts realize how tasteless they are being?

[winterfox10]

Turning down someone’s gift, especially a friend, is honestly the rudest thing on the planet. Do you honestly believe that the person didn’t put serious work into buying something they didn’t need to, just to celebrate your (seemingly) ungrateful
ass?

There are so so so many better ways to handle a situation like that then flat-out refusing to accept the gift. Like people aren’t even going to ask you if you like the gift. You could give the gift to charity, for example, no one cares, seriously.

Social graces aren’t about making you comfortable, they are about making everyone else
comfortable. Same logic as turning down a Facebook friend request: it means nothing if you say yes, but it screams a novel when you say no.

Don’t these people realize how awkward it is to turn down a gift?

[Meta1087]

Well me personally, I don't like receiving gifts because I don't like being spoiled. It may not be considered spoiling but to me I feel like I'm given something I don't need for free rather than earning it. I've never refused a gift but I've told some not to buy it for me because it's unnecessary and I don't need it. If I want something I'll get it myself. The only exceptions I have for that is where the traditions where presents are a thing like birthdays and Christmas, and even then I feel guilty if it's expensive. Getting something like a necklace or a bracelet is cool, but not like a laptop or expensive clothes.

[Epicdudegreg]

For the love of god, please don't be "that guy" or "that girl" who is so self centered that they can't even accept something given to them for free. Take the gift. Not sure where you put it, and frankly couldn't care less; you're getting it for free. Take it with a grain of salt. Unless they give you something so ellaborate and exuberant that it's too much, or what they are giving you is very offensive, take. The. Gift. Not only does it make people giving you something they didn't have to go out of their way to give you feel. better, but it also is a good look. Turning down a gift makes you look like somebody who is self absorbed, and you will find yourself being mistreated or viewed as a jerk by that other person from here on out not taking the gift. It's your call.

[WhiteSteve]

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a gift refused, is that common? Usually people just say thank you, and if they don’t like it they’ll give it away or re-gift it. I guess maybe I see the standard polite faux-protest, “oh, you shouldn’t have, I couldn’t possibly accept this.” I guess maybe if you’re trying to shower a taken or uninterested woman with presents, she could possibly decline so the guy doesn’t get the wrong idea about her intentions, but other than that, I’m having trouble even envisioning the scenario.

[MlleCake]

The "oh you shouldn't have" response to a gift is one thing. It's being gracious and modest before accepting a gift.

But actually refusing a gift is a HUGE thing, and not to be done lightly.

I have had to refuse an inappropriate gift here and there, but you're right. It's not a small thing when you do it.

[Paris13]

My Parents with Every Gift: "Why do you do it, You kids need your money, You shouldn't be Giving us anything, Your Father and I don't Need anything, You make your Other sisters feel Bad..."HOW SAD... xxoo

[Paris13]

Tasteless and Inconsiderate. xxoo

[Larry91]

I think it depends on how it's done. I reject all gifts regardless of who they are from or what they are, I also refuse to get anyone a gift. I believe that by being neutral and treating all people the same it's not awkward.

In regards to Facebook requests most people I know don't accept friend requests without knowing the person, no body likes a friend collector

[winterfox10]

Nah, see that’s an understandable thought, but it’s still wrong. The best way to handle the situation is to smile, say thank you, and then simply not buy them a gift in the future. You create needless distance with the person, because even if you don’t believe in exchanging gifts, you are still refusing to acknowledge the time and effort they have already put in.

[Larry91]

So your solution is to lie to them, then not get them a gift in return

[winterfox10]

No, my solution is to acknowledge them and their intentions, maybe even politely explain myself, and then not get them a gift in return.

[Epicdudegreg]

For the love of god, please don't be "that guy" or "that girl" who is so self centered that they can't even accept something given to them for free. Take the gift. Not sure where you put it, and frankly couldn't care less; you're getting it for free. Take it with a grain of salt. Unless they give you something so ellaborate and exuberant that it's too much, or what they are giving you is very offensive, take. The. Gift. Not only does it make people giving you something they didn't have to go out of their way to give you feel. better, but it also is a good look. Turning down a gift makes you look like somebody who is self absorbed, and you will find yourself being mistreated or viewed as a jerk by that other person from here on out not taking the gift. It's your call.

[Atryn]

Not wanting to receive a gift has nothing to do with being tasteless or trying to be rude. At times I would if my girlfriend tried, because I'm perfectly happy with just having her and I didn't want her to go spend money on something when I'm happy to just be with her and talk to her, I guess a gift I would be happy to receive is her laying naked on the bed with a bow on her.

[Spiritwander]

Well, in this day and age, it seems that it depends entirely on the person. For instance, it could be considered just as awkward socially to shower a priest who practices non-attachment with abject materialism.

It depends on the situation and context what a gift. It's better to give a well received gift than create a social burden on a person of a specific object.

[Spiritwander]

...😑 I rest my case... 😔

[Ashenicky]

I used to turn down gifts as a kid because I strangely thought that accepting random gifts was somehow bad. I don't know. I was weird af. But I realize now that if someone wants to give me a gift, it's because they like me and thought of me. So now I'll take just about anything someone hands me.

[MaelaKmr]

I completely agree, it is rude as fuck and I think one must be utterly dumb not to realize how rude it is. I think they do realize it and do it on purpose to be hurtful or to spread a message like "I don't like you", "I'd rather we keep our distances" etc.

[Billys_Life]

That's not always the case in many cultures it's actually respectful to turn it down, it is like being nice or basically giving the message of "Thank you so much, you really didn't need to buy it, your presence is sufficient"

[pleasestopthis]

I wouldn't reject a gift unless it's an inappropiate gift... or if the gift is used as a mean of manipulation, like a bribe.
I do reject facebook requests, though. I don't care if people feel awkward, I choose the people I want to share my stuff with.

[Edanurus]

It sounds really selfish to expect someone to take a gift so you dont feel awkward. Kinda defeats the point of gifting.

Oh and if you're that emotionally invested in facebook that not accepting a request bothers you that much you shouldn't be on there.

[winterfox10]

I love how so many people are responding to my comment about the Facebook friend request, when that wasn’t even the central point of what I wrote. I’m not trying to make a commentary or anything, I just find that interesting.

[Edanurus]

Fair enough but that was an aside to my main point. Others may focus on that because it seems a bit telling of the mindset, you wouldn't mention it if you didn't think it was linked.

[PondyPand]

What's pathetic is getting so worked up over someone not wanting a gift. Lots of reasons are legitimate.
What's even ruder is having a supposed friend who can't buy you a gift that's actually tailored to you as a friend...

[winterfox10]

Why would it be pathetic to get upset with someone for not accepting a gift that you put work into obtaining for them? Anyway, the issue is not with someone not wanting to receive the gift, the issue is how they approach the situation. I really feel as though I was pretty clear about that, but a lot of people seem confused

[Kurαȷ]

You sound exactly like the kind of person that people will refuse to receive gifts from.

[winterfox10]

I have only had a couple of people do this actually. For the most part, I give and receive gifts freely.

[adolescentswede]

Facebook friendrequests made me paranoid i rarely if ever use facebook anymore. I tend to reject drugs even legal ones i try to make it clear that no gift is required or expected.

[winterfox10]

Yeah, I mean if receiving a gift is that bothersome, you can just tell people that you will give all gifts to a charity. I feel as though there are plenty of people who would not be offended if you told them that you were going to give all gifts blindly to charity

[Browneye57]

Many women don't want you to give them anything or help them for fear that you'll expect sexual favors from them. Dumb, for sure, but that's the female brain. There is no logic, just the FEELZ.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I've never had that happen, but God is that tasteless. Is nobody taught manners anymore?

[PeacefulRainDrop]

When people give me really nice gifts I feel guilty if I didn't do the same

[Izumiblu]

I don’t always see it as inappropriate to refuse a gift. So. There’s that.

[CoffeeWC]

It shouldn't matter. If someone doesn't accept my gift I wouldn't worry about it. I'd rather they refuse it than have them accept it then trash it or give it away.

[LtJackass]

That's why I hate gifts. I'm not worth that much time and energy. And you're making me feel guilty by giving me something I don't deserve.

[Anonymous]

it's cultural sometimes. In Korea, you are supposed to turn it down twice before accepting (and giver is supposed to offer 3 times).

[Iron_Man]

Yeah tell me about it

[Anonymous]

You don't HAVE to do anything