Women more shallow than men?

[Swampwater]

Before the generalizing title invokes the rage it deserves I think I should be afforded the courtesy of explaining myself..

After reading some questions there seems to be a consensus that girls may prefer a taller guy - but he MUST be taller than they are. If you are shorter than her forget it. Skeptical? Look up the answers yourself!

In regards to men, I think it is a fair assumption that westerners prefer women who are not overweight. However, guys who say they prefer skinner girls are labelled as "jerks" or "shallow" on the site, Despite this, guys usually won't even go outright (as girls do with height) and say they definitely wouldn't date a chubbier girl.

Furthermore, it seems like weight is something people can control (for the most part) whereas height is inherited. Is it not worse to discriminate against a characteristic someone has no control over? Who is more shallow in this respect?

Of course I am aware that it is "just personal preference" -probably culturally relative and genetically predisposed too. The outright dismissal of shorter guys by girls I discovered on this site was shocking to me. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Not in the slightest. Yes, women can be shallow, but men are much more shallow by far. This is because in order for a man to like a woman, she must be attractive to him. But in order for a woman to like a man, he does not have to be attractive. Women are attracted to a multitude of different things, & as long as a guy has one of these qualities, she will love him unconditionally, even if he's ugly. Yes, most women start off wanting an attractive man, but women grow up & see so many other qualities are more important. It takes men a longer time to realize this, & a good percentage of them never do. And if you want proof, look at society. You will always see men looking at pretty women, spending their money on pretty women, & dating pretty women. But women are always dating men who are unattractive, even when that woman is attractive herself. Men just can't get past looks, but women are usually over looks by 17 or 18.

[Swampwater]

I was sure I would never change my mind on the subject ...until I read your post that is. You can't really blame me if you look at the caliber of responses thus far! You're right. Looking back 3 months after writing this I can't understand how I didn't see it before. Superfisciality seems to be hardwired into the male brain -it was probably an adaptive trait - and now it manifests itself in "icons" like hugh hefner. On the other hand, women, traditionally, look for a provider.

[Swampwater]

How old are you? If you don't mind my asking. As a guy who is 22, I think this assertion is up for conjecture "women are usually over looks by 17 or 18." Although I see now that my interpretation was likely skewed by my own age. Care to comment on why women abhor men who are shorter than them, while men don't mind as much, as I uncovered in the original topic?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm 26

And women don't abhor men shorter than them, at least, not most of them do

[scfranci]

I think it depends on the person. Some people are just shallow. I'm not I've dated a guy I was not completely attracted to at first, because he was an amazing guy. But you have to remember there are shallow guys too. I'm not saying all, just some. Guys won't really date a heavy set girl and expect girls to get all dressed up the majority of the time, otherwise they won't even bother to look at the girl. Also, almost all guys would be up for something physical or superficial dateing (hanging out and fulling around) but when a girl even mentions a relationship they freak out and act like it came out no where.

I'm not saying all guys are like that, because that is simply not true.

But ,in my opinion men are just as superficial as girls, it really just depends on the person.

[Swampwater]

well said.. I can see where you're coming from. I think it also has a lot to do with our culture norms where the male is traditionally considered the provider and pursuer. that's why women on average date older men and not the other way around

[xSweetestSinx]

I think there's more pressure on guys to not admit to being superficial. So guys usually won't be as superficial in public because they're taught its wrong for them to do so.

Personally, I admit that I'm very superficial in that its all about looks, but I'm not shallow because I appreciate intellectual pursuits and know there's more to life than just sex and parties.

[Swampwater]

hmm.. one thing I don't get. if you think it's "all about looks" then how can you appreciate "intellectual pursuits"? unappealing philosophy to live by if your willing to date a handsome man who has an IQ of an ape. could you marry someone you don't connect with intellectually -just physically? in the end it still ends up being about the sex and parties in that case it seems to me

[xSweetestSinx]

You get to know a person. Who says an attractive person can't be intellectual? Physical attraction is a part of any relationship and I don't think a person has to sacrifice that for other qualities.I've met plenty of attractive, smart, intelligent people.

[RedThread78]

You can't group all men and women together. There are those that prefer certain traits and others that don't. The fact that we tend to group people by sex has never made any sense to me. I know both men and women still hold onto archaic standards when choosing mates but it IS changing. We are heading towards a genderless society where gender roles like these things don't matter anymore. I consider this a transition period.

Good thing if a short guy is super confident and secure the woman won't care about his height. Just act "tall" if that is a problem for you.

[Swampwater]

Agree with you here: it was a generalization as I stated. However the notion that gender roles will eventually completely disappear is absurd to me. They are innate in a society. Biological sex identity drives socially constructed gender identities. The main defining characteristics of a person's life is their race, class, and gender. Therefore, how does it not make good sense to group people by gender?

[RedThread78]

True but wouldn't it be a better place if we didn't group people by race, class, gender or anything else? I think it is actually less complicated that way. I'm not saying you shouldn't know somebody is a certain race or gender I'm just saying we shouldn't expect anything out of it know what I mean?

[NerdInDenial]

It's more than culture.a thing. There have been surveys conducted on people of different back ground and culture. The survey showed that people prefer certain traits of the opposite sex regardless of cultural differences.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps you've read some Margaret Mead? There is no inherent "sexual identity". There IS a socialization sexual identity that is independent of gender.

[Swampwater]

I don't see anywhere in my argument where I claimed sexual identity was inherent. Did you miss the part where I said "westerners" or that attraction was " culturally relative"? I am fully aware that gender is a cultural construction. gender= social norms & sex=biology in my understanding of things

[MikeK]

Women are INFINITELY more shallow than men. There are shallow men but the number of them is absolutely dwarfed when compared to women...

[Kass1964]

I think both girls and boys are shallow.

Would you walk up to a very unattractive girl and talk to her just because maybe she might have a great personality? I don't think so. People are naturally drawn in by beauty, it can't be helped.

[c7777]

double standards are all over this site like that they p*ss me off and ya your right

[brunettebelle]

It depends on the person and I think both genders can be just as shallow. I have friends that aren't as shallow and some that are a little too bent on looks.

[Anonymous]

No, men seem to be much more visual than women, & shallowness is brought on by people judging others by what they see.

[Temptress]

Both sexes are equally shallow end of story.

[Swampwater]

well you have a very concise answer... you give no evidence or anything. "end of story"? where did the story begin?

[Temptress]

You are basing your information on the women you have met, seen in media and herd stories about. You cannot make an accusation such as the one you have as you have not met all the women in the world, nor have you met all the men. So until you accomplish that task, and manage to record every single persons attractions and standards and then compare them against one another your wrong.

[Swampwater]

obviously you just read the title of the question and then answered. if not then you must be unable to comprehend what I wrote based on your reply. don't waste my time please.

[Temptress]

You are the one wasting your time responding, so feel free to save your own precious time and just not answer =)

Yes I addressed the initial question, that is what a question is, you see you type it in that little box and then you fill in the details, so when you've read the contents of the details you answer the initial question.

Glad I could be of help.

[Anonymous]

How many people on here are you going to accuse of not reading what you wrote? If you don't agree with what they said then just say so. Drop the condescending attitude!

[jennifer8]

Hell No! That is one trait men and women share equally.

[Swampwater]

if you had read my question you'll see it is not equal (in this regard)

[jennifer8]

Uuhmm Actually I did and I stand by my answer

[Swampwater]

why would you type 'umm' in the computer?

[socalgamehater2006]

well women do have higher standards

[Anonymous]

I don't have an idea.

[Anonymous]

LOL, you keep telling yourself these lies honey

[Swampwater]

im not your "honey" dipsh*t. you dispute nothing and go anonymous. typical cowardly moronic trash. to be expected on GAG I suppose.

[Opinion Owner]

lol