Why doesn't he buy my gifts anymore like he once did?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend used to buy me gifts just to see that shocked suprised happy look apon my face, he would spend his last money on me buying me exspensive tshirts just to make me really happy, he's stopped this for the past 2 years and I don't understand why.

he still buys me gifts for my birthday and Xmas but he used to enjoy suprising me now he doesn't bother, why do guys just stop? I get slightly jealous when girls boyfriends buy them gifts and I don't get anything anymore. is this normal?

Updates

+1 y

i do focus on my guy but its nice to be appreciated and spoiled to feel special from time to time..

[MrEM4N]

Instead of asking why, why not tell him that you miss the spontaneous gestures of affection he used to give you? Flowers from a garden or surprise dates to the beach with packed sandwiches can be just as effective, if not more, than buying gifts. Let him know that you don't care about the gift, you just liked knowing you were special. All guys should know that women want this. Guys, it's similar to when SHE makes you feel strong. Even if you're skinny it still makes you happy when you can open the jar of peanut butter that's giving her problems.

[Asker]

I think you are the only one who understands what I've asked, thanks for your reply. its not that I'm a gold digger that is way of the scale, I can afford what I like myself some of the replys are a complete joke.

[MrEM4N]

Its easy to understand what you were asking after having grown up with 4 sisters. Most guys get wrapped up in the physical aspect of a gift without realizing its the emotion you make a woman feel while giving a gift that make it special. It also helps to recognize that even if you think your girlfriend knows she's attractive because everyone hits on her, the only opinion who really matters is the man who she's given her heart and hearing it from him means 10x more than what anyone else says.

[Asker]

So so so true, you are so spot on.

[MrEM4N]

I would suggest taking the lead and making a spontaneous gesture of affection for him so that he can better understand the feeling of being spoiled. Than, you can casually bring up how he used to make you feel like that but recently he's stopped and you miss that. It's important to emphasize that it's not the gift that matters but the thought put towards giving the gift.

[sixstring]

Snowboarder, at what point did I say I'm like that? At what point did I say most guys are like that? That's right, nowhere.

I was simply stating that íf a guy behaves like that, the most likely reason will be the one I stated previously.

Learn how to read and interpret.

[Asker]

I don't agree with you myself, if a guy behaves like that the most likely reason is he wants inside my pants? I have been with my guy for 4 years now, we've slept togither for 4 years. I'm way more sexual then he is so its not sex related what so ever.

[toulouse]

unfortunately you can't feel appreciated without someone spending money.. bad habit. get used to feeling special because he loves you and you love u--not because money is spent. think about it. if we his an economic depression, and suddenly you have barely enough to eat... would you feel worthless or doubt his love because no ones buying you anything.. I think he went overboard in the first place, now you need to get used to things being normal. and you are suffering withdrawl..

[Asker]

Away of the scale for me. I do feel appreciated without someone spending money, I feel appreciated with love, nice words, things that cost nothing but effort, I do feel special he loves me. And if he went overboard in the first place then do did I cause I spent a lot on gifts for him to make him go 'wow' I didn't need to, or feel the need to but I wanted to suprise him to see that look on his face, and I also bought him cheaper things such as his fave chocolate and done things that cost nothing.

[lillianAngie]

1) he feels used...

2) he feels it's not fair that you don't do the same for him

3) he is broke

Girls, come one, it's year 2011, we can buy ourselves gifts to feel happy. Boyfriends are companions, not sugar daddies.

I say It's normal, because eventually, he would use up his money on you.. and he's got other spending.

[Asker]

I am the girl that can afford to buy myself stuff, I don't treat my boyfriend as a sugar daddie in anyway I wasn't bought up by my mum to treat anyone like that, I work for what I want. I actually spoke to him and he said he's trying to save so one of your reasons was correct, but isn't it nice to get a suprise even if it was cheap from time to time to make you think awww that's sweet he's thought of me when he's seen that?

[Tankjiang]

hi,I'v read your question, in my opinion,it is normal, because both of you have been together for 2 years,and are familiar with each other. He knows wether he buy or not buy gifts for you , you will not care too much . Even thoug you may be angry at that moment ,but you will still pardon him. Anyway , I mean you and her lack of passion because of familiary . I suggest you actively buy him something , giving him a supprise happy .As for gifts,recomend a website to you ,I always buy gifts for my girlfriend. ACCVV.COM

[daytrader]

I wouldn't spend a dime on a woman in this economy. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make it in this world? The whole financial system America has been based on for the last 40 years is on the verge of collapse! The standard of living for this generation is going to be terrible. My brother makes $700,000 a year and he is barely making ends meet thanks to his selfish wife who wants him to buy her all this extravagant unnecessary garbage and take care of her while she sits on her ass and eats bon bons. If I made that kind of money I'd be buying an arsenal of guns and gold so that I could be a warlord in the new economy after this economy collapses like the house of cards that it is.

[cavmanier]

This is why you get a prenup or don't get married. Your wife gets fat while spending your money ><. Yeah if he managed his money for a few years he could be in a great situation where he could be financially free.

[PeterCobra]

yep. they sit there like jabba the hut on their couch throne: eating, getting more fat, getting more lazy, getting more bitchy, more spoiled, and over-entitled with every passing day. then once you are drainded and can't take anymore, they split and take everything you own and worked for. I wish things were the way they were in my grandparents day. but today marriage is just not looking very good for the man anymore. especially here in America these days. with situations like this ^^^

[Asker]

Way over the top with what my question was about. I'm 23 years old my boyfriend is 22. I beleav both should work and pay both ways not just a man and the woman sits about getting obese and lazy. your saying they take everything you own, they supported you and helped you get where you wanted I think they deserve half!

[xxxmegan]

Lol PeterCobra! It's true what you said, but the starwars reference was a win!

[PeterCobra]

you said: "...he would spend his last money on me buying me exspensive tshirts just to make me really happy, he's stopped... Why would you let him spend the LAST of his money on you for gifts in the first place?----------------------and THANKS xxxmegan, LOL

[snowboarder720]

sorry if I portray to be rude, but you sound like a spoiled bitch. Money doesn't grow from trees, and fashion isn't cheap either. You should feel lucky for even getting anything on birthday, christmas, etc.

Just because he was badass enough to buy you things every so often, now your expecting it to happen all the time. You need to understand that he's there for you, which what matters the most. F*** GIFTS.

[Asker]

I'm not a spoiled bitch, I can buy myself anything I want without relying on my boyfriend I have my own job, money and savings. My boyfriend also has a job and money.

I don't feel I should be 'lucky' for getting things on birthdays and xmas, I appreciated what he bought me, I would appreciated anything he bought me however cheap it may be but its the thought he made on buying me it because he thought of me and though I would love it to make me happy.

[snowboarder720]

im not saying you can't buy yourself things, I'm sure you do have a job money. But I find it rather selfish to think that just because he's not buying you things, it means 'something is wrong'.

[Asker]

Why is it selfish, I love buying people gifts from time to time to show theyre special and I care about them and thinking of them at that time, its a nice feeling when theyre happy with the gift it makes me happy inside known I've made that person happy and spoiled them a little, treating them cause theyre special to me. I know we are adults now but don't you still have that inner child that gets excited with gifts and feelin special and nice to be treated once in a while?

[snowboarder720]

oh, for sure. No doubt I love gifts and giving gifts, but that's what Christmas is for. But just because someone buys you gifts, doesn't mean you should take it for granite and expect more gifts.

[Asker]

I don't take it for granted and expect more gifts at all, but for the past 2 years he stopped making this effort with me for some reason I don't understand as if he isn't intrested anymore in making me happy, treating me or spoiling me. Shouldnt you do this for your girlfriend or boyfriend once in a while to show you appreciate her by giving her something she would love if you can afford it? or would you just be happy to carry on doing nothing like this for one another apart from christmas

[snowboarder720]

well there are different ways to express feelings and appreciation to others than just gifts. Instead of getting gifts, I'd like to take her out places and such. Basically spending time with her or texting her about how her day was and such. Gifts can't buy love

[Asker]

I agree with everything you said but still think its nice to receive a gift from time to time to spoil one another, I was brought up with love is more important so I couldn't agree anymore with what you last said :P

[Anonymous]

um. yeah. it is. he may not feel the need to impress you so much anymore. either that or he's low on cash. focus on the guy- not the gifts =P

[Asker]

i do focus on my guy but its nice to be appreciated and spoiled to feel special from time to time..

[Opinion Owner]

yeah. I would agree. cept you're expecting it, and that's a bad thing.

[Asker]

i don't expect him to buy me anything, but he would buy me something and he would love that genuine shocked suprise happy look on my face as much as I loved it, I'm curious to why he doesn't do it anymore I knew he loved seen that look on my face is it because he's lost intrest or something?

[Opinion Owner]

i think he knows that you're far enough into the relationship that little gifts like that aren't really needed and are superficial. that the real gift is being able to be with each other.

[Asker]

I don't agree with the little gifts aren't needed anymore, its a nice feeling when he will go out his way to buy my fav bar of chocolate or maybe one rose out of the blue. But yes I agree the real gift is been with each other, that is a good point.

[Opinion Owner]

=D

[PeterCobra]

watch this in it's entire truth.

https://youtu.be/LQ7wT4CUprQ

[cavmanier]

I subscribed her :O

[Asker]

Ok, I think this is way over the top with what I was talking about. We both pay for our dates out, one week he will pay it, next I will pay it your way over the top and these replys are getting a joke. I used to buy him gifts from time to time to suprise him and show him some love because I have the money to, he used to do this for me also. So no everything in our realationship is halfed. I'm a true beleaver in woman and men should both work and pay into a home not sit about getting fat...

[sixstring]

Well I said it was the most likely reason, not the only one.

[Asker]

what you think the other reasons may be then? I can understand why you said this for a short term realationship and I could maybe agree and think that's the problem. but not a long term one.

[sixstring]

He bought those gifts because he wanted to seduce you/get in your pants. Now that this is achieved he doesn't feel the need.

Sorry to be so blunt, but that's the main reason a guy's behavior to a girl to change.

[snowboarder720]

that isn't true at all. I've bought gifts for my gf's just to be nice or suprise them. It's a very satisfying feeling giving your girl random suprises. you should try it for once and not becoming overly obsessed with their stinky vaginas

[Asker]

ok, wait a minute... Then why do girls buy guys gifts, to get inside there pants?

[Nikki1989]

Men only have so much in the tank when it comes to romance.

[dudeman]

well its pretty stupid to buy girls stuff like that especially at his age, maybe he finally realized that

[Asker]

Why is it stupid to buy girls stuff like that? Tshirt? He knew I wanted it but was unsure about buying it because of the price, instead he put me of the tshirt so I wouldn't buy it and he bought me it himself to suprise me. Also he's 22 I don't agree with you at all.

[dudeman]

because its stupid to buy stuff like that, he needs to worry about buying high yield bonds and cds right now and working on his investment portfolio, you know for the future, so I say it again, only a moron would buy women expensive stuff at his age

[Asker]

Fair enough, are you single?

[dudeman]

i is

[Asker]

exactly...

[dudeman]

exactly what, that proves nothing. I'm single by choice right now

[dudeman]

because I don't buy women expensive gifts is why I'm single, why would I want to be with a girl that's wants gifts from me, that's called a prostitute, I'm trying to get my life in order to have a wife and kids

[Asker]

Are you really single by choice? And when you get a woman in your life, don't you buy her anything out of the blue just to make them happy, suprise them, get them excited youve bought them something they would love just because you love that look on her face? I don't mean everyday, week or month but now and then along with other things that cost nothing like a picnick in the park being romantic ?

[xxxmegan]

holy gold digger!

[Asker]

Really, if you read everything you will see I am not a gold digger, I have my own money, I save my own money, on dates he either pays one week and I will pay the next week, everything is halfed so no I don't actually think I'd class myself as a gold digger, what sort of reply was that anyway?

[xxxmegan]

An honest one, and quite literally the first thing that popped in my head after my inital 'wtf' face. I am clearly not the only one who thinks so. If you really loved this man, then just being around him would be enough.

[Asker]

I'm still a gold digger if I always pay half my way?...Oh OK. Out of every one of these replys only one guy seems to understand, my boyfriend clearly is enough or I wouldn't be with him at all. The only thing I was curious about was why he stopped doing this after a while, such as the 4 years we've been togither the past 2 years he stopped it, we also done it for each other time to time and I would also buy him expensive gifts so it wasn't one way.

[xxxmegan]

Try a year of dating where neither of you pay for anything for each other and no gifts. Give it a shot. It'll blow your mind.

[Asker]

Thats what's its basicly like now for us when it wasn't like that before... I would feel guilty if the man constant paid for me.

[xxxmegan]

If that's how it is, why don't YOU buy something for him?

[Asker]

he hasn't for a long time so I stopped also I guess maybe I should be the one to start it up again, its not just the gift buying thing its also the effort things that cost little, like me going up to his work handing him a little note saying I love you inside the envelope and going to his work to see him I don't really feel I get anything like that back from him...

[xxxmegan]

I think you're confusing your problem with a love-dryspell. It can sometimes hurt when you're not feeling the love back, but sometimes you have to just wait it out.