My boyfriend says I have changed :(

[Anonymous]

we have been chatting since as friends July but started dating in August. Lats night he said that I have changed and that our conversations have changed. So I asked him if he isn't feeling me anymore and he said at first he was like omg she is incredible, I am so wow, but now there are many things he doesn't like cause he feels I am now too sensitive and he can't speak his mind without hurting my feelings or ruining the relationship. Its just that he says some pretty offensive things sometime and I call him out on it but he says that he is disappointed because I know him so I should know what he means when he says these things.

i don't see how I have change but I do feel the distance growing. he also said that he is still not interested in anyone else but it seems like I am searching for something bad. :(

I am worried now cause if we are less connected it means there is room for someone to come between us, or we lose out on what could be great.

how do I fix it, what should I do.

[gristformill]

When people first meet they project what they want to see onto the other person. This is especially true in personal relationships. I used to do it alot, find out the person wasn't who I thought they were and get hurt.

I'm assuming when you say chatted you mean digitally. This media gives even more room to project what you want to see in the other person. Maybe with the personal contact you are finally seeing who each of you are and it is not what you thought.

Stick with what is. What is going on now? Don't hang on to who you thought he was, try to get a good idea of who he really is. Remember that idea of a great relationship was just that, an idea, a mental/emotional construct. Don't let that get in the way of developing a here-and-now relationship. Work with it until you honestly feel that the person you are experiencing is not who you are looking for.

[Prettygurl12]

Your relationship has outgrown its sparkle stage and is now in the disillusionment stage. Your relationship will now either fall apart or get stronger as you either learn to deal with who the other person really is or you flake out and break up.

[Asker]

makes sense. I was reading that 3months -6 months is the infatuation stage and after that people start seeing the differences in each other and that's where true feelings get tested. The good thing is that he is a long term person, I am the one who is short term but I want to make this work cause there is no other like him

[Prettygurl12]

Then best of luck to you. I've been with my boyfriend for a few years now and I remember when the magic of our relationship wore off...we fought like cats and dogs for two months straight but ended up working out our differences and now function quite well together.