Is it possible that my boyfriend is changing?

[Anonymous]

In the past and by past I mean a few months ago and the two years we have been together, on and off, my boyfriend was physically abusive. Lately he hasn’t been though. He’s been telling me how he actually thought about his actions toward me and considered my feelings about it and is trying his best to be better for himself and me (to treat me better). I believe him but at the same time I still fear it happening again because he still does and says certain things that goes against him saying he wants to be better. Like for instance, the other day we were in the drive through at Wendy’s. A younger girl was working the drive through and she made a small mistake with the order and he tells her “This isn’t what I asked for little girl, I’ll come back there and smack the sh** out of you.” And he wondered why the rest of that day I didn’t speak to him and I had him take me home and I had planned on spending the night. Not only that, he still gets upset about little things. I want to believe him and trust he will change for himself and to just be a less angry person but it’s sort of hard to when he does things like that.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like trauma bonding. I mean he could be changing but I’d rather not have you wait around for him to only revert back to his old ways later, you deserve better!

[Precipice]

It sounds like you are settling for less. Never in my life have i talked to a stranger like that. A HOMELESS man would make a better boyfriend than him. Get a guy that doesn't have to "try" to respect you. That should be a mutual understanding between the two. We all have things that can trigger us, but his character sounds rotten.

[awkward_author]

You're just in the honeymoon phase of the abuse cycle. Leave him. He's not going to change.

[spartan55]

It will happen again, count on it. Stick around and he will kill you, and that's no exaggeration. Who tf says something like that to a (likely) teenager... you are playing with fire.

[Precipice]

I've seen girls in relationships like this and wonder why tf they put up with it. I was friends with a gal and her boyfriend would cuss her out right in front of me. For something as simple as laughing at someone else's joke.

[spartan55]

I have a big problem with domestic violence. It's sad and infuriating.

[magiusX26]

leave while still can

[Asker]

I don't know why I keep going back. It’s scary to think I honestly fell in love with him and more so than I have anyone I ever dated and they never even abused me. They even treated me better. It’s like he has this hold on me and I feel stuck with him. I forgive him and I contemplate the entire time thinking “Well he hasn’t hit me in a while but what happens when that changes and I do something and he goes back to doing so.” I even have days when I think about just disappearing even when he hasn’t did anything out of fear to avoid the future of him doing it again and not being able to walk away that time because he has actually killed me. I’ve been fortunate and blessed enough to walk away alive from him strangling, kicking, punching me and throwing me down, dragging me out of bed, out of the house etc but I always think how lucky and blessed will I continue to be? It doesn’t matter if it hasn’t happened in a week or month or two because all it takes it one good hit. I just feel guilty each time I forgive him but still think about leaving, as if I owe him something and I don't know why I feel that way.

[exitseven]

These guys never change. It will not get better.

[Twalli]

He could be trying to change.

[Luckycharms12]

Run away

[LegendaryIcon]

into what?