Do women appreciate chivalrous gestures?

After talks on here and discussions in class and with friends, I figured I ought to ask this question.

I usually thought chivalry was something nice, but not required. Something like "Oh, you're going to pay for MY meal? What a nice thing to do!"

But the impression I'm getting is "Okay, so you bought my meal. Nothing special since that's what guys are SUPPOSED to do..".

In fact, with my first girlfriend on our first date, I said "If you want I'll take care of the tab." Her response: "Uhh...Yeah." I can't describe how put-off I was that she EXPECTED a free meal.

I do nice things for people because I like making people happy. If it doesn't make them happy, then I really have no reason to do it, now, do I? And I think this is why chivalry is dying.

So chivalry, gifts, paying for dates: is it something you expect, or is it something you appreciate?


0|1
95

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not something I expect or take advantage of, but yes - I definitely appreciate it.

    0|1
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 8

  • It is something I would say I expect, at least from a decent guy. Also, I feel like if a guy is into me and really respects me, then he will act chivalrous. If I'm blessed with sons one day, I will make sure to raise them to be chivalrous to ALL women (and would be mortified if they are not!). By chivalrous I mean things like "ladies first", holding a door open, walking them to their car if it's late at night, etc. However, I am definitely appreciative of chivalrous gestures and do not treat them like nothing. So, while it's something I expect of a decent guy, I am also very appreciative...if that makes sense. I definitely take notice of chivalry and make sure to show my appreciation. And I will also say that girls should also act respectful and be considerate of guys too! It shouldn't be that the guy is doing all this for the girl and she just goes about her business like it's nothing. However, in terms of paying for a meal, I don't think that's really necessary in order to be chivalrous. A guy doesn't have to pay for a meal ALL the time. I think probably for the first date he should, maybe the first couple of dates, but hey, times are tough and things are expensive! It's perfectly fine to trade off with who pays.

    0|0
    0|0
    • "I will also say that girls should also act respectful and be considerate of guys too!"

      Ahh, there we go. I like the idea of raising people to be generous towards one another.

      I just hear so much more talk of men doing things for women than I hear the reverse. Did you buy her a ring? Did you get her a gift for your one month anniversary? If a woman has to do anything for men, we basically say the guy is a jerk with stupid expectations.

    • absolutely! respect goes both ways. there's this saying that a guy knows a girl is worth it if, after he opens the car door for her and helps her in, she leans over and unlocks the door for him as he walks around. if she doesn't, then she's not worth it because it shows she's selfish.

    • of course that saying isn't so relevant nowadays with all the technology ha ha but I still really like it!

  • My opinion is that chivalry should have nothing to do with gender.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Something I expect from decent guys, but definitely something I appreciate. I even say "thank you" when they hold the door open, which shocks most guys haha. :) And of course, I offer to hold doors open for guys and all that stuff. But the good ones don't let me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I expect as well as am flattered and appreciate it.

    When I say expect chivalry I don't only mean financially, for men to pay for me. Rather expect and am flattered when a man opens doors, let's me go first, carries my heavy bag, etc.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Well I like chivalrous men, but you apparantly only date bitches.

    Please don't judge regular chicks like me.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Haha. I suppose I generalize in this post. Don't worry, each person is an individual to me.

  • I would never pay for my food. Love chivalry. But not slavery. Don't offer to tie my shoes and sh*t like that lol

    0|0
    0|3
    • Wait...what?

    • Show All
    • No? I'm not? I'm saying its fine to open doors, give comments. Etc. but not to do over the top stuff. Like tie my shoes and all that.

    • Thats offensive by the way

  • i feel bad when my boyfriend does that. I wanna pay & stuff but he won't let me.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Meh, I wouldn't go feeling bad about it. If he genuinely wants to pay, then let him.

      What I'm talking about is women pressuring men to get their wallets out because it's what a "real man" would do. Rather than being thankful for someone else paying for their food.

      It's the 21st century, and women have fought to earn equality and demolish gender roles. Paying for stuff you buy is part of the deal. Someone else offering to pay is a gift. Congrats on a generous partner!

  • yessssss...

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • First off I'm a guy all about chivalry. I open/hold doors for girls I don't even know, just random acts of kindness. But, what messed up in this day and age, there are women out there that are actually insulted by chivalrous acts by men. To them, a man holding the door for them, they take it as they aren't seen as competent enough to open a door, so a competent guy has to do it for them. You notice some girls smile or say thank you when you hold the door. But there's always some stuck up girl that gives you a dirty look for holding the door for her...like wtf are you doing, I can get the door myself. Bitch...I hate girls like that, I'm just trying to be nice and not demeaning at all, actually respectful is what I'm shooting for. One girl even said something, like I can get the door, you don't need to hold it for me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No. Will they take advantage of it? Yes.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Not according to sparrow! lol

    • Show All
    • sparrow24, look above. lol. you two were the first answers:

      "Yes I appreciate it. No I don't expect it or take advantage of it"

      "No, they don't appreciate it. They will take advantage of it."

      I found it hilarious that those were the first two answers.

    • Oh I didn't see time stamp so I thought I got first.

  • Chivalry isn't just gifts and paying for stuff my girlfriend pays for meals sometimes and always buys me gifts and I do the same for her. Chivalry is more of carrying groceries, holding the door open for a girl and stuff like that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • They do, but girls are not attracted to guys who are chivalrous though. Just seem them as a friend.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i don't do it because no girl is going to do it back to me

    0|0
    0|0
    • Sounds a bit "eye for an eye" to me.

      But I agree that you shouldn't expect anything more than you'll give.

    • I'll do nice things but I won't spend money on them

Loading... ;