Do women appreciate chivalrous gestures?

Question

After talks on here and discussions in class and with friends, I figured I ought to ask this question.

I usually thought chivalry was something nice, but not required. Something like "Oh, you're going to pay for MY meal? What a nice thing to do!"

But the impression I'm getting is "Okay, so you bought my meal. Nothing special since that's what guys are SUPPOSED to do..".

In fact, with my first girlfriend on our first date, I said "If you want I'll take care of the tab." Her response: "Uhh...Yeah." I can't describe how put-off I was that she EXPECTED a free meal.

I do nice things for people because I like making people happy. If it doesn't make them happy, then I really have no reason to do it, now, do I? And I think this is why chivalry is dying.

So chivalry, gifts, paying for dates: is it something you expect, or is it something you appreciate?

lana77 · Accepted Answer

It is something I would say I expect, at least from a decent guy. Also, I feel like if a guy is into me and really respects me, then he will act chivalrous. If I'm blessed with sons one day, I will make sure to raise them to be chivalrous to ALL women (and would be mortified if they are not!). By chivalrous I mean things like "ladies first", holding a door open, walking them to their car if it's late at night, etc. However, I am definitely appreciative of chivalrous gestures and do not treat them like nothing. So, while it's something I expect of a decent guy, I am also very appreciative...if that makes sense. I definitely take notice of chivalry and make sure to show my appreciation. And I will also say that girls should also act respectful and be considerate of guys too! It shouldn't be that the guy is doing all this for the girl and she just goes about her business like it's nothing. However, in terms of paying for a meal, I don't think that's really necessary in order to be chivalrous. A guy doesn't have to pay for a meal ALL the time. I think probably for the first date he should, maybe the first couple of dates, but hey, times are tough and things are expensive! It's perfectly fine to trade off with who pays.

snowangle · Accepted Answer

Something I expect from decent guys, but definitely something I appreciate. I even say "thank you" when they hold the door open, which shocks most guys haha. :) And of course, I offer to hold doors open for guys and all that stuff. But the good ones don't let me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's not something I expect or take advantage of, but yes - I definitely appreciate it.

asdaven · Accepted Answer

First off I'm a guy all about chivalry. I open/hold doors for girls I don't even know, just random acts of kindness. But,  what messed up in this day and age, there are women out there that are actually insulted by chivalrous acts by men. To them, a man holding the door for them, they take it as they aren't seen as competent enough to open a door, so a competent guy has to do it for them. You notice some girls smile or say thank you when you hold the door. But there's always some stuck up girl that gives you a dirty look for holding the door for her...like wtf are you doing, I can get the door myself. Bitch...I hate girls like that,  I'm just trying to be nice and not demeaning at all, actually respectful is what I'm shooting for. One girl even said something, like I can get the door, you don't need to hold it for me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Chivalry isn't just gifts and paying for stuff my girlfriend pays for meals sometimes and always buys me gifts and I do the same for her.  Chivalry is more of carrying groceries, holding the door open for a girl and stuff like that.

Eva_Grace · Answer

I expect as well as am flattered and appreciate it.

When I say expect chivalry I don't only mean financially, for men to pay for me. Rather expect and am flattered when a man opens doors, let's me go first, carries my heavy bag, etc.

crookthings · Answer

My opinion is that chivalry should have nothing to do with gender.

Sexycally · Answer

Well I like chivalrous men, but you apparantly only date bitches.  Please don't judge regular chicks like me.

katkaintkwit · Answer

I would never pay for my food. Love chivalry. But not slavery. Don't offer to tie my shoes and sh*t like that lol

blondebeauty27 · Answer

i feel bad when my boyfriend does that. I wanna pay & stuff but he won't let me.

Anonymous · Answer

They do, but girls are not attracted to guys who are chivalrous though. Just seem them as a friend.

Anonymous · Answer

i don't do it because no girl is going to do it back to me

Koldhearted · Answer

No. Will they take advantage of it?  Yes.

Anonymous · Answer

yessssss...

Do women appreciate chivalrous gestures?

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