A Story Of Schizophrenia

A story I wrote about someone who has schizophrenia. Not everyone who has it will experience it the same way but it usually involves visual and/or auditory hallucinations, impulsiveness, anxiety, apathy, paranoia, depression and many more. Schizophrenia is real and not to be beautified.

My clock ticks away every second while I lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling. My eyes follow every swirl and twist in the creamy pattern, counting every section of seven. Seven is a good number. With the number seven, I'll be safe. I can hear my parents fighting downstairs. The soft blanket rubs against my skin and I snuggle in further, accidentally pulling my hair.

A light touch is felt on my head and I look up and around to see Nyx, the most beautiful of my friends. She's sitting on the edge of my bed and she begins to pet my hair softly. The gentle strokes calm me and her delicate fingers play with the long strands of my dark hair.

Purring to me in her soft voice she says, "Don't worry, we're here now." Her voice trails off while she strokes my hair and I stare at her perfect exotic features. Her beautiful mocha skin makes me wish I looked like her. I sit up and look around to see the rest of my friends. Their chatter and laughter drowns out the shouts of my parents behind closed doors and solid walls. My friend Damian looks over and smiles with sympathy.

"Don't worry honey everything will be fine. I know it will." Damien says me.

Troy his cousin, looks at Damian and says to him, "Don't be so prideful, you don't know everything."

With a glance between the two, Nyx interjects between the boys' conversation. "Calm down you children. This poor girl is only seven, she can only take so much at once." Nyx glares at Troy who finally calmed down.

While Damian grins smugly he says. "See Troy? You're just too mean to be around children." Troy's brother Erebus rolls his eyes and walks to me to sit next to Nyx, ignoring his brother's anger problems. He side eyes her in jealously but suppresses it and places his large hand upon mine.

"Everything's fine honey. I wish I had this problem as a child, I didn't know my parents." Nyx slaps him on his arm and she gives him the look my mom gives my dad when he makes a comment about my friends. With a low and dangerous voice she says "Shut up Erebus, the poor girl is frightened. Don't be so jealous of everyone."

"Jealousy is different from envy, honey." Erebus says in a teasingly sweet voice, "Jealousy is the reaction to a threat of losing something, usually someone. While envy is a reaction to lacking something." Nyx ignores Erebus completely and brushes my hair from my face. Her fingers brush my skin and the blanket slides down, allowing cold air to waft across my bare legs, since I've grown out of my nightgown. Nyx's cousin Nala, fixes her very expensive dark green dress and shifts from heeled foot to heeled foot standing by my door.

"I don't know maybe I could go to her mom's room and get some new jewelry." Nala says with hope but it's dashed with a look from her cousin. "Nyx I haven't bought or stolen anything in days." she says in exasperation. With a shake of her head, Nyx waves her away and she lays down next to me, her warmth making me sigh in comfort. Just watching everyone, I keep my mouth shut and let Nala do as she pleases. Nala walks around my room, picking up a doll or a piece of my tea set every now and then. Derek sits on the floor playing with my deck of cards, playing some gambling game he said. I didn't understand when he attempted to teach me so I stopped paying attention.

Nyx told me that day that Derek had a gambling problem and she seemed upset with him. He has lost and won a lot of stuff from his 'bad habit' she told me and it isn't healthy for him to have his life revolve around it. Sometimes Daddy leaves the house in the middle of the night, maybe it's to go gambling. He will open the door letting in a cold draft and shrug on his large coat before leaving, forgetting to lock the door.

With an adjustment of my legs and blanket, Nyx watches me through dark and long lashes. She's laying on her side with her back to the other five while Erebus sits cross legged just glaring at Nala, wishing he was as understanding. Lastly there's the friend everyone hates but tolerates. Isaac leans against the wall, falling asleep from boredom.

Slurring from his half-conscious state he says to us, "Maybe we should go talk to them."

Nyx sits up and all seven of my best friends trade looks. Nyx looks to Erebus and they nod, looking to Derek who paused in his tirade of cards and money gaming. They all nod and look to Nala who was fixing her make up. Applying another layer of lip gloss, she nods before she sets it down with a solid thunk on my princess dresser. Damian, Troy, Nyx, Nala, Erebus and Derek all stop what they're doing to move to my bedrooms door.

"Baby girl we'll be right back okay? We're gonna go talk to your Mama and Papa." Nyx looks back at me with a sweet smile plastered on but I can tell it's fake.

"Are you going to hurt them?" I ask in a small and shaky voice. Worry seeps into me and my eyes widen as I am about to chase them while the others leave and Nyx stays behind. The heat from my blanket escapes as it falls to the floor from my sudden movement.

"No darling no, we're gonna get them to stop fighting. I promise, everything will be better then." Nyx blows me a kiss and gracefully walks out, shutting the door with a soft click, making me feel more trapped than she meant to.

I lay back in my bed and scratch at my belly while I think. I sigh and turn on my side, staring at my blank pink wall right by my bed. I cuddle under my remaining Sleeping Beauty blanket and stop myself from crying. I wish Mommy and Daddy would stop arguing all the time. Daddy mentions a mental in-shta-tushion. I don't know what that is but Mommy doesn't think I need to go there. Daddy says how my Doctor friend Tate believes I have a mental illness, whatever that is.

Daddy likes to call me something like 'skitzo' behind my back to Mommy and she gets mad which starts lots of fighting. I don't understand why. I don't know what I did wrong to make Daddy call me names and why Mommy cries every time I tell her about my friends. I don't know what's wrong with me. What did I do wrong to make Daddy and Mommy hate me so much?

Nyx walks in and closes her eyes while she shuts the door. She walks over to me and hugs me tightly to her bosom, sitting next to me on my bed. The bed shifts and I fall into her slim body, wishing she was my mom. She feels more like my mom than my real mom does sometimes."Hi Baby girl, the others are downstairs. I wanted to tell you that you shouldn't be scared. Believe me, none of this is your fault. You must love yourself, even with everything going on.

Look upon the shapes and colors of the world and embrace them with a beauty that's all your own. I know life isn't easy, and I want you to know that your parents love you dearly. When they look at you they see the things they love, they created you baby girl. You are their world, their pride and joy. Just remember, your imperfections and you; are the perfection in the air around you. Breathe them in like the smell of autumn and its dancing leaves. The winters breath harsh across your face. You must love yourself, because you are beautiful. Your individuality makes up Nature as does the soft downy snow in the winter and scent of the sweet flowers as they spring from the moist earth. I love you darling, don't forget that."

A Story Of Schizophrenia

What Girls & Guys Said