Every year in the US, on the fateful night of October 31, also known as Halloween, hordes of women grace the streets, clubs, bars, and parties dressed as "sexy" (insert costume name). But I have to say that sexy (insert costume) should have limits to what can or should actually be made into something sexy because some things just shouldn't or are just stupid and/or unappealing in any sort of sexy way.
1. Sexy Poop
Yes, poop. It's bad enough we have to see this emoji being overused by everyone everywhere, but to imply that poop can be sexy...sorry, it's not that kind of website!. Poop is literally human or animal waste that the body is getting rid of and that we dispose of because of. There is nothing sexy about it.
2. Sexy Graduate
Isn't the goal of getting a higher education to, how shall I say this delicately, um...get away from situations and establishments where outfits such as these would perhaps be a requirement of your employment?
I'll give you a few seconds to guess what this woman is supposed to be. Take it all in for a moment, hmm, what is she? If you guessed a body bag, you are either one of the 3 people who bought and wore this costume, or, there is no other or. I would love to read your dissertation about how a body bag is a sexy thing, or the dead body in it...on second thought, you know, never mind, if you'd write such a paper, there is already probably something plenty wrong with you.
4. Sexy Oscar the Grouch
There was, nor has their ever been anything sexy about this canned monster who lived in the trash or while we're here, because they exist, the other sets of Sesame Street characters. Why are there so many people in such a rush to pervert all manner of childhood cartoons and movies? These characters are not only beloved for their innocence, and the lessons they taught us as young children, but they are meant FOR young children. To sexify it is just cringe.
5. Sexy Ebola Nurse
Like really? This is a real thing? I was going to google and put up an image of what those ravaged by Ebola look like, but I'll spare you. Trust me tho, if this is what you think you should wear to fight Ebola, you're going to get it and die because you're apparently stupid.
6. Sexy Skunk
Who's fantasy was...is...this? What is sexy about an animal who's funk you have to bathe off in tub full of tomatoes?
7. Sexy Nun
I'm not even a religious person, but I can respect that you believe in what you believe in as long as the feeling is mutual and you're not hurting others or yourself being a part of it, but this type stuff...taking someone's religion and perverting it into a sexy caricature...makes even me uncomfortable because I do view it as being disrespectful of someone's religion in the worst way.
8. Sexy Oompah Loompah
Didn't these guys basically murder young children who "got in the way" of their candy making? Anyway, no human looks good with orange skin, white lips, and green hair, not even our president. Not sexy.
9. Mushrooms (Super Mario Brothers)
But why tho? The video game world is literally filled with hyper-sexualized women at every turn, so making an innocent life giving mushroom "sexy," just seems like ridiculous overkill.
10. Honorable mention goes to the Sexy Avengers
Yes, because it looks dumb on men too...