Confronting My Guy Friend Who Touched Me Inappropriately (Page 3)

[SirBarristanSelby]

Wow, that was a long story. Without getting into the saga of what A said to J, if your friend is touching you inappropriately take their hand off and give it back to them. If they persist, tell them to back the fuck off.

If this is how they behave when they are drunk, don't go drinking with them. Alternately, get one of your friends to tell them to back the fuck off.

[Jmcmanning]

It shouldn't matter if you are acquaintances or strangers, if you feel uncomfortable with someone touching you - tell them right away. Never wait, that gives them the impression it's okay to continue behaving this way. Just as an FYI.

[JimRSmith]

Well handled.

It was long, but it was worth reading in full.

[Anonymous]

some guys lose control and get extremely horny when drunk, i too get horny but never lose control, i would better fuck a hooker rather than spoiling friendship and losing my self respect.
what you did was great but i still think you should have stopped him right away to see if he was conscious enough to understand that he is crossing the line and should stop

[myTake Owner]

Honestly I don’t think it would have worked. J was a lot more firm than I was but C still kept clinging on her.

[Kayla45]

Oh.. I feel so awful you went through that, I hope everything does get better dear. :)

[Rainychoc]

Just be strict. Not to please anybody or just making an excuse when it is about self respect. Nor take care of people feelings when they did what they should have not done to you.

[OfDeath]

Ok I didn't read all that because there are only do many years in a millenium.

But from what I gather is he got a bit tipsy and tried his luck.
It didn't work and he knows that so leave it in the past.

[snowangle]

You'd benefit from reading the whole thing rather than just assuming you know what happened.

[myTake Owner]

This was about 3,5 pages in Word so it's really not that long lol. He didn't try his luck because we're both in relationships. He just crossed a line and didn't even realize it. But yeah, now he knows not to do that shit anymore and to be more careful, so you're right about that.

[Whaler]

Doesn’t look like he knew any better, not to say that makes it right Or anything, make it apperent that’s you didn’t like it and for him not to do it again,

[BabyBlu21]

I do believe that something must be said as soon as he did it. Putting time in to. thinl about it cause his to feel that you're not serious and you're overrating.

[Halucinator]

Super amazing take
Loved this one
I'm sorry that you had to go through all this though😶

[RationalMale]

Hanging around drunk people is just lousy. It's about as fun as smelling puke.

Agreed though, people do need to have a sense of boundaries and there are unfortunately idiots/trash that you need to shove away and tell them to fuck off.

[zzzondarrr]

Why do u even go clubbing when ure in a relationship, wtf?

[myTake Owner]

Because it was my friend’s birthday? And it’s not like you’re not allowed to go clubbing when you’re in a relationship... it’s still fun to dance and have a good time with your friends.

[zzzondarrr]

What if your friend had a birthday in a strip bar, would you still go?
You can dance anywhere, no need to go clubbing for that. You should know that 99% of the people who go clubbing are looking for a hookup or to get drunk/drugged.

[myTake Owner]

So? I’m not. So why does it matter why other people go to clubs?

[zzzondarrr]

Maybe so the things like those u wrote about above wouldn't happen to u again? Also much worse can happen.

[myTake Owner]

I’ve had fun clubbing experiences that didn’t involve gross drunk guys ruining my night. So you’re saying I should just stay at home because guys are the worst? Cool

[Agent]

That was really long.
Can you sum it up, like, really quick?

[myTake Owner]

If you can’t bother to read 3,5 pages worth of text then I dunno what to tell you. Either skim or don’t even bother clicking on this take :D

[Agent]

dude that's like an entire novel

reading's hard

[myTake Owner]

sob sob

[jacquesvol]

When it happens, be clear about it, block it right at the start, say you don't want it.

[myTake Owner]

It's hard, though. The circumstances made it hard to bring it up right then and there. He's my friend. They played super loud music, so having a normal conversation there was hard enough. Can't even imagine how difficult it would have been to have a serious convo and to seriously tell him to back off, and have him understand the severity of my words when he can barely even hear them. It was also my friend's birthday party, so I didn't want to ruin her night for her or deflect the attention she was supposed to get. I'm sure she would have been 100% ok with me becoming a screaming banshee, but I just felt like it wasn't the time nor the place. Discussing it with him when he was sober was the best option.

[jacquesvol]

Parties with super loud music lead to other than verbal communication.

[thisisbreana123]

Great story. I would have handled that way differently because I live in the 21st century but you handled that great

[myTake Owner]

Edgy

[thisisbreana123]

Yeah

[Mr_Mystery]

I can't belive that alchocol can do this to him. I was very drunk 100 of time in my life and was perfectly in control of myself, if you forget balance on my feet.

[myTake Owner]

People react differently when drunk.

[Anonymous]

I'd slap him silly or punch or kick him really hard in the balls and in the ass for it. That would send him a message loud and clear that it is inappropriate.

[LegateLanius]

Excellent mytake and you really handled it well besides not stopping him as you would not have felt like you disrespected your boyfriend.

[Nice222]

I have had this happen with a friend more then once and have learned to just not be around them when there is alcohol around.

[myTake Owner]

Have you tried talking to them?

[Nice222]

Yeah and it works until they are drunk again.

[myTake Owner]

That's unfortunate. Then I understand you not wanting to be around them anymore when alcohol is involved. At that point, it would be best if they stopped drinking so much. But I guess some people just don't understand, or don't want to change because it's a hassle.

[Nice222]

Yeah true.

[Anonymous]

Nice take. My only suggestion would be that if something like that happens in the future, you should say something immediately, in the moment.

[myTake Owner]

Woulda could've shoulda. And then have the guy forget I even said something about it because he was so drunk?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah--that's if you're looking back. Looking forward it isn't "woulda could've shoulda," but rather, "here's what I'd do next time." And just because you say something in the moment, doesn't mean you can't ALSO say it again the next day when he's sober if he does happen to forget. But not saying anything in the moment doesn't do anything to stop his behavior as it's happening. I'm guessing your boyfriend would've liked that outcome as well.

[myTake Owner]

My boyfriend didn't mention anything about how I handled things, because we have a loving relationship that's based on trust. So I think what he values the most is that I'm ok and I do things in the best way possible for me. I know it doesn't exactly help to do anything in the moment, but it's easy to think "next time I'll do this" but then end up frozen in place just like before. It's hard to know what it feels like if you've never been in that position.

[myTake Owner]

to not do anything*

[Opinion Owner]

Perhaps, but you're far less likely to end up frozen in a situation if you've visualized it previously and have a plan of action. You're much more likely to freeze if you have no plan.