Hi!
Here I will tell about my past expectations in life and what I have achieved today.
The first thing, that you will have noticed is, that it has been 10 years from today (Year 2018 - 10 years = year 2008) since I have first set my life goals. That's right, I was 13 years old and I had goals already in my life!
Looking back it seemed to me, that barely anybody had any goals at that time (speaking of age).
But my case was a complicated one.
To begin with it, at that time I was (starting to) becoming very unhappy and severely depressed to such an extent, that I actually wanted to do something about it myself. Like putting my hands on life and control my own life. But that was unfortunately not possible.
(Memes are really not my thing but I don't want to have only texts as my content)
I have planned right there, in the head of my 13 year old self, who was still in Germany some goals, that I was sure to be committed to be achieving. Those were (In order from Top to Bottom priority):
- Get a job ASAP
- Move out of my parents home ASAP (I couldn't and can't live in peace with them) (Preferably living alone)
- Assemble a beastly workstation computer
- Rack up my career
- Sign up for AdultFriendFinder and similar services (prerequisite: Moving out of parents)
- Have fun (aka sex) with nice women (prerequisite: Moving out of parents; Not being in a committed & monogamous relationship)
- Get a qualification of a technician
- Make tons of money
- Being able to go out for fun activities & making friends/getting a girlfriend
- Get a drivers license
- Eventually relocate to the US or Canada (I am still to this day undecided between those 2)
- Fire and examine a real firearm
- Become a landlord of an apartment (either for myself or for rent)
I really planned for so long almost daily and hasted to move out of my parents. I will spare the details but it was only possible in around 2014 & 2015 (~4 years from now). I couldn't wait to be living alone in the quiet peace and let myself just be healthily alone.
Not to mention an overhauling and life changing event occurred in 2010, when my parents decided to move from Central Europe (Germany) to the East for some reason, that was never disclosed but when asked was deflected in a way, that it was just to silent me (their typical, emotional response). I was 15 years old at that time and I got out of the frying pan into the fire. My goals became permanently manifested from that point on. There was no turning back from these.
Anyway 10 years later (today) and I just did an analyze of my expectations then (in Germany when I was 13 years old) and which of those I have achieved today. The results are:
- Get a job ASAP ✔️
- Move out of my parents home ASAP ✔️
- Assemble a beastly workstation computer ✔️
- Rack up my career ❌
Why I did not succeed here: I am still actively working on it.
- Sign up for AdultFriendFinder and similar services ❌
Why I did not succeed here: Barely anybody uses these services over here. Sex for fun, health benefits and good life isn't that popular. I am not that proficient with the language in the country, where I am residing. Unfortunately for me it seems, that women here aren't as "liberated" or oriented as they seem in Europe
- Have fun (aka sex) with nice women ❌
Why I did not succeed here: Same reason as above.
- Get a qualification of a technician ✔️
- Make tons of money ❌
Why I did not succeed here: It's much easier said than done.
- Being able to go out for fun activities & making friends/getting a sex-addicted girlfriend ❌
Why I did not succeed here: I'm still broke but not nearly as broke as in the past.
Regarding getting a girlfriend, cultural differences have proven to me to be a relationship barrier.
The women here tend to be more "traditional" than "modern". I highly prefer "modern" women myself or the career oriented ones. Either don't give a damn about "gender roles" and stuff like that.
Unsurprisingly my dating chances have been 0.
Which is also why I'm on a rush to move out of here.
Speaking of which, on a sidenote, in Germany I was unhappy about the censorship in the media (violent video games, movies, Nazi Germany WW2 related contents and partially on youtube (nazi-germany content too)). Now I would be much happier if I were to at least get back to Germany or anywhere in Europe.
- Get a drivers license ❌
Why I did not succeed here: No time and no money.
- Eventually relocate to the US or Canada ❌
Why I did not succeed here: I currently see no possibility doing so. I would apply internationally but I'm collecting that working experience and that academic degree, that I am working on.
- Fire and examine a real firearm ❌
Why I did not succeed here: It's Illegal here.
- Become a landlord of an apartment ❌
Why I did not succeed here: Money problems
I have really expected to have half of these achieved in 10 years. Well, those 10 years have passed. I did so much and only so little has changed.
It's kind of disappointing considering how much time has passed, how much effort was done and how little was achieved. Making it hard on myself doesn't bring me any closer to my goals. I can only work so fast.
Well, at least the most essential goals were achieved (Having a job and living alone). But rest assured I'm never giving up. I am resilient but not invulnerable. It is my life and I do whatever I can to make changes happen. Any price is worth the trade for me.
For me it is all about strength and honor over defeat, conforming, submitting or surrendering at any time and any day.
And I am just one man.
Hence, I am Unit1.
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