Going over guys house for the first time?

[Anonymous]

What do he expect to happen when I come to his house? Also he's paying for me a cab to come to his house. I don't want to do anything sexual though? what will we Do? I'm nervous because we'll be alone!

Updates

+1 y

Please help? I don't want to give bad impression!!

[Punkbuster107]

Hmm... this can be an awkward situation. If you knew him well enough, you might be able to ascertain if he's the sort of guy who would go through all that work just to get to know you with no sexual expectations.

I've brought girls over to my place literally just to eat, chat, and watch a movie, but I'm not very common. Furthermore, the girls I'd invite over knew me well enough to know I'm abstinent until marriage. But again, that isn't behavior you can count on most guys to have in common with me.

A better choice would be to have a friend drop you off / pick you up. Second best would be if you paid for the taxi yourself and didn't agree to let him pay for it until you were on your way out, (that way, if he still wanted to pay for your taxi both ways after not getting sex, you'd know his merit).

If you want to make sure to establish that you aren't obligated to spend the night, tell him you have to meet a friend later in the night, and that you have things to do early the next morning. Rather than lie, you could even make plans to fit your story. This would be good, because if he knows somebody is expecting to hear from you and see you later in the evening, it will add a level of accountability to the whole evening, even though technically its only the two of you over there.

Even if he's gentleman who doesn't intend to push for sex, he'll still probably respect/admire your boundaries and your self respect when he figures out you're setting precautionary against potential manipulation. In either case, he'll feel better about your ability to guard yourself against other men, which is a good thing if he's considering you as a potential SO.

[Asker]

This was actually very helpful, he's the kind of guy that brings up sex sometimes and when I asked What we will do he said that it doesn't have to be sexual. Also he knows I'm still a virgin, and he knows I have someone waiting for me at an certain time.

[Punkbuster107]

Glad to hear it, hope it all goes well.

Take care!

[Taminy]

He's probably expecting sex or at least something naughty to happen... Maybe when you get there and if he's nice and does thing properly you1ll want to do something... but if you don't at all then just don't respond to any advances he might make. If he insists say you're not up for it

[Asker]

So he wants to do something sexual most likely? What do I do to ignore his advances without being awkward or rude then?

[Taminy]

Yep, he probably does. I'd be surprised if he isn't expecting sex... Anyway, just be nice to him, be yourself. I don't know if you guys have kissed before... But if you have then just stay on that area and if he tries to do something else just say you're not ready yet and ask him to wait a bit. But don't say it in a rude way or anything, be sweet. It's not gonna be awkward, you won't do anything you don't want to and it shows him that maybe in the future you might want something so that keeps him wanting you :)