Christian dating an Indonesian Muslim Girl, the best approach to convert her?

[Anonymous]

I met this Muslim girl a few days ago while staying in a hostel. She is from Indonesia and a really cool girl, we got on really well from the first moment.

She was attracted to me and she told me that she really loved my personality too. I was attracted to her also, later on we go out dancing in a bar together at the night.

We end up kissing (she was encouraging me to kiss her, whereas I was trying to hold back because it was too early). We kiss a lot after she initiated. Later we stay at the hostel, we're cuddling on the couch and just talking. She invites me to come sleep in her room for 2 hours and sets the alarm clock with her (we're fully clothed).

The thing is, she is muslim but certain things she takes serious, others not.

I. e, the things she does that are forbidden in Islam that she does.
- She is dating me (when only men in islam are allowed to date non muslims).
- She listens to music
- She doesn't wear muslim dress style (although this is cultural not religious)
- she doesn't pray 5 times a day, i don't think she even prayed once
- she doesn't drink with her right hand

The things she does that are muslim:
- She eats halal meat (but im not sure yet if she always does, maybe just a preference)
- she won't go to a church

The problem is, I think she's aware that I'm a Christian. but I was thinking IF THIS BECOMES LONG TERM then I don't want complications for kids and marriage so I would want to convert her

I could gently point out the flaws in her religion or show her how Christianity is true in a considerate sensitive way.

But any suggestions on an approach are appreciated?

[Anonymous]

Don't listen to all this bullshit people over here are saying. There are even some people here who hopes for the failure in your relationship for example>> " I hope the girl stops seeing you soon." . So much anti-christian speech right here. You can clearly see how this website was supposed to be an advice website, but sometimes I feel GaG is more a website of indoctrination, that is, promoting both new age spirituality and materialistic ideologies (feminism, atheism).

So you are catholic, which I consider as a Christian too. So brother, just pray for God. Pray and waits. Be patient. Ask advices from people who are qualified for that like the priest or bishop of your church, not from angry atheist teenagers. Then after a lot of penance, praying, fasting, I'm sure you will receive an answer. Good luck pal

[Asker]

thank you!, absolutely. A lot of the opinions here were empty and emotional. which is ironic since this isn't the usual claim of thought by the atheist.

But i'm thinking of facts, this is a fact that it WOULD be a problem and there is no getting around that simple.

If we're serious, it'll be deciding between marrying in a mosque and a church, what we raise our children, all the ltitle things.

I just need a good way to approach it

[Kevdaman]

2 Corinthians 6:14 says: Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? And as far as converting her goes I don't think that will work out to well because, what if she is thinking the same about you what if she is just waiting for you to accept Islam so you can be together. And with her family being Muslim I think they would have a serious problem with accepting you seeing as Muslim women aren't allow to marry outside of their faith.

[Your_boss960]

Exactly. If you're so religious and catholic why don't you just listen to what your bible says and stop going out with the "unbelievers"

[Kevdaman]

Me personally I don't date outside of me faith

[Nonik]

Engg. I don't think you should dating her.
If she's not being a good Muslim then how she'll be a good Christian?
You can't guarantee it.
Maybe she'll convert to Christian but if she didn't mean it then I think she'll be a good wife for you.

Let me explain it this way :
You know that there's always PROBLEMS in life, right? And it's not an exception even if you're married.
If you found yourself a GOOD CHRISTIAN wife, you'll still have to face the problems.
How you expect to face that problems with a girl that just recently CONVERT into Christian? Instead you'll just add another problem in your life.

Don't pour fuel into the flame.
Life is hard; don't make it more complicated.

[xHoneyxBeex]

If you want to be with a Christian, then find someone who's already Christian. I do not understand why anyone would enter into a relationship with someone of a different faith and then try to convert them. If her religion is a problem for you then don't date her! I'm a Christian myself and I would never date a Muslim mainly because I know it wouldn't work, I have no desire to convert other people and I would be pissed if someone tried to convert me. I mean, the answer here is simple, you want to be with a Christian so leave this girl alone and find a Christian.

[harakiri]

The idea that Christianity is infinitely superior is retarded. Have you read your bible recently? There's a lot of fucked up shit in there. I think you should just... stop. Don't attempt to convert her. If you can't date someone with the future being unclear, then don't date her. Your role in her life is not to point out the flaws in her religion or to alter the way she practices her religion.

[Asker]

I never said it's superior. In fact, Christians are forced to admit that they're not perfect, it requires them to admit they're sinners.

I've read the Bible, and I've read the hadith and quran and early islamic history. There's a difference.

I'm already dating her, she sort of moved it faster than I originally wanted. I'm not focused on pointing out flaws, she can believe in any thing she likes but there will be future problems with this fact. in the case of where we marry.

In a mosque or church, what we'd raise our children etc and I wouldn't want to name our kids muhammad or mohammad etcf

[harakiri]

Why can't you just ASK her if this is going to be a problem?
Personally, as a moderate Muslim, i still wouldn't get with a non-Muslim just so i don't have to deal with all the subsequent drama. it's just mentally EASIER.

[Mesonfielde]

I think both religions are equally messed up, it's just that Islamic people tend to take theirs more seriously.

[harakiri]

@Mesonfielde i am in a terrible mood. so instead of being a total bitch to you, i'm going to stand down lmao.

[yofuknutz]

You can always give him head enough to make up for things

[psychedelic_paprika]

Maybe you should convert to Islam.

Or you know, you could respect her enough to let her believe in whatever she likes.

[KHaskins]

Also this.

[Asker]

I don't believe in Islam because i've studied it. I don't mind having friends who are muslim but for a serious long term future partner. There could be too many problems.

[psychedelic_paprika]

If you can't respect her beliefs then don't expect her to believe in yours. Break up.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Xtian and Islamic beliefs are similar. The one thing where their beliefs contradict is that We reckon Jesus Christ (peace and blessings upon Him) never died but raised by G-d to Paradise, whereas Xtians believe in His crucifixion. We also believe in no trinity, whereas most Xtians do.

[Mesonfielde]

"I love everything about you, but our imaginary friend has a different name, so you can't hang out with my kids anymore q_q"

Ugh. Religions are a hassle. I'm not sure why anyone would bother with them. Be a good person, fine, but this type of `we must indoctrinate ALL the things` mentality, I just can't understand it.

[Asker]

erm, your whole answer sort of invalidated your point when you attempted to apply reason. "good" of all the beliefs, atheism is probably the worst intellectually and throughout life

[SensualScribe]

Anonymous- I know plenty of atheists who are good people. To say that you cannot be a good person without religion is a load of shit.

[Mesonfielde]

That, and you are trying to indoctrinate your potential partner you so "love" to realize that your beliefs are better. I am not even atheist, I am agnostic. My slogan is, "even if there is a God, it is not worshipped by any current religions".

[Asker]

"To say that you cannot be a good person without religion is a load of shit. "

i never said you couldn't. What I did say is the immaterial concept of "good" doesn't exist in an atheist belief. There is no rational basis for such a thing.

They can claim to be good all they like, but are ultimately adopting a christian basis for good when they claim to be so

[Mesonfielde]

I believe in actions being in the benefit of oneself and others, and that is the definition of "good", while doing something that causes more harm than benefit is "bad". It's a simple and fairly rational way of looking at it.

[aneleda]

I think you shouldn't try to convert her. My husband is a Christian and I'm non-religious and his attempts to convert me would only annoy me and damage our relationship. Either accept her the way she is or find a Christian girl that you won't have to convert.

[Prof_Don]

Maybe the Asker should convert to Islam... to prevent "complications for kids and marriage".

:-P

[ConfusedGrocer]

Some Muslims use their left hand and listening to music is not forbidden, and men are not allowed to date/marry non-Muslims either, though not much people take this seriously. You're badly misinformed. And God, not going to church isn't a Muslim thing. Only Christians and curious tourists go to churches. She doesn't sound like a bad Muslim at all, though it's clear that she's noy so religious.

Christianity isn't any better than Islam. I hope the girl stops seeing you soon.

[dwish]

Oh this is what you have to now, Basically dating or courtship is not allowed in Islam because it can lead to a haram relationship like kissing and having sex. I'm frank to say your Knowledge about Islam is pretty good, all what you said above were correct. Here is what I have for you, a good and pious Muslim girl will never go to a bar dancing with guy let alone kiss him since it was a sin. A good Muslim girl will dress properly and cover her hair to show her dignity and to be recognized that she is a Muslim. Well I always believe that soulmate is just like our reflections so if you ever wonder how your future spouse would be like, just look at yourself. Just remember if you want a good woman as your wife, don't ever think to find her at a night club.

[BellePepper]

I don't see why she would have to convert. Like, at all? I'm a Christian wearing a cotton blend and that's bad according to the bible. We won't even talk about the last time I went to church. Those don't make me any less Christian though.

The fact that you haven't even known her a week and your primary concern is conversion kind if makes it sound like you care about her religion than any relationship with her.

[Prof_Don]

The way to do this, is to show her, by example, how Christianity makes your happy and fulfilled.

Any type of pushy, persistent, or imposing method will turn her off.

P. S. I think this relationship is doomed; religious differences are almost impossible to overcome.

[musicbrain5]

You can't convince someone to convert to your religion just to appease you. It's not going to work out well at all. I don't see your relationship lasting long.

[KHaskins]

Don't be confrontational. Just let it slip that you're Christian, and see if she's comfortable with that.

Don't make it your mission to convert her. Seriously, don't. She'll choose it - or not - on her own time.

[Asker]

I'm Christian and I take it seriously,

But the fact that she's a muslim and i'm a Christian does have inevitable impacts.

i. e would we marry in a church or mosque, would she keep sneaking me halal only food (i. e separate what food we eat). make our kids muslim and want to call them muhammad or mohammad etc

[KHaskins]

You know, I read a post recently by a Christian woman contemplating marraige to a childhood friend who converted to Islam. Problem being, he wanted everything to be done his way. Can't celebrate Christmas or any Christian holidays, kids would receive Muslim names, etc. All of the compromise only went one way. You're doing the exact same thing right now, only unlike the other guy, you want it to go all the way, with her converting to your faith.

Take a step back and reflect on that for a moment. I advised that woman to break things off. Were I speaking to this girl of yours, I would advise her to do the same for the same reasons.

[KHaskins]

Here's the question in question:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1318868-interfaith-problems-christian-engaged-to-muslim

[KHaskins]

The fact that you say she won't even go to a church (which I somehow missed before) tells me flat-out that this is not going to happen. You can either accept her and her faith as-is, or you can respectfully acknowledge that things aren't going to work and break off the relationship before you both get emotionally wrapped up in it and make it harder than it already will be.

[KHaskins]

If you can both come to respect your differences, however, without trying to change each other, there may yet be a chance. There will be problems, and many compromises to make in the future, but they can be tackled one at a time. It all comes down to respecting her for who she is instead of remaking her in your image.

[Anonymous]

Hahahaha okay the thing is... where are you from? First you need to know what her family is like and how is her relationship with her family, does she respect them? I'm a muslim, but I'm actually an agnostic. But, I will not convert because of my family. Most of Indonesian people are very close to their families. Being disowned by them is the last thing you want to do. Also, be careful. I know not all Indonesian girls have an agenda, but a lot of them do.

[KHaskins]

Agenda? Just curious.

[Opinion Owner]

It depends on where they met, where this guy is from, her background, etc. If he's not an Indonesian, they met in Indonesia, she could be a gold digger. Not all Indonesians are like that, though.

[Hephaestus]

what is it with religions always thinking theirs is superior and the right one, thus needing conversion of others? o_O

Let peeps believe what they want to believe.
Cross any cultural bridges as ya come to em.

[Anonymous]

You should both ditch your stupid ass religions... convert her, give me a fucking break, Islam has an agenda to convert the globe into becoming Muslims and I don't mean that in some sort of "terrorist" violent way, that's just their goal, and apparently the same for Christian Jihadists. Good luck with that, kid.

[Bethany-Louise]

" I could gently point out the flaws in her religion or show her how Christianity is true in a considerate sensitive way. "

Ahhh this is never gonna work haha. Please don't try and convert someone.

[Eugene]

She won't convert. Ever.
End those relations, they won't go anywhere.

[anythingatall]

A, there's flaws in all religions, Christianity being one of them. B, no religion is 'true', or more true, than the other. C, degrading the faith n believes of your girlfriend would likely earn u a slap in the face and her breaking up with you. D, you don't want complications and therefore your girlfriend should make the sacrifice? Why don't you convert? You selfish masogynist, I hope she goes to gag too and read about this.

[Asker]

how about i convert and get a second wife so i'm not a masogynist

[KHaskins]

Wow, dude. Do her a favor and break up.

[Asker]

erm... sarcasm

[anythingatall]

Dude you're thick, I'm saying you should both make compromise, not just demanding from the girl. That's a working relationship, communicate n compromise. Don't care if your expectations of converting came from a purely religion basis (ie Christianity is better) or sexual dynamics (the weaker submit to the stronger), I still hope your girlfriend could read what you wrote

[Anonymous]

Ask her if she knows Islam well
if she doesn't you can approach her anyway you want to convert her
if she does, just ask her what's the point of "Surat Al-Masad" in the Quran, she will convert by herself

[Asker]

i know islam fairly well, but this is the first time i heard of "surat al-masad"? i think i probably heard of it but just didn't know the name. can you expand

[Opinion Owner]

In this Sura, presumably, God is just cursing at "Abou Lahab", it is nothing of moral or religious or spiritual values.
"Abou Lahab" was a wealthy man and Muhammed was jealous of him because he was poor, so one day, Mohammed called upon the tribe and told them that chaos is imminent so "Abou lahab" said, you called us here to tell us this bad news and threw a stone at Mohammed.
At this instant, Mohammed claimed that he got an inspiration from God and started cursing "Abou Lahab"
تَبَّتْ يَدَا أَبِي لَهَبٍ وَتَبَّ
مَا أَغْنَى عَنْهُ مَالُهُ وَمَا كَسَبَ
سَيَصْلَى نَارًا ذَاتَ لَهَبٍ
وَامْرَأَتُهُ حَمَّالَةَ الْحَطَبِ
فِي جِيدِهَا حَبْلٌ مِّن مَّسَدٍ
Translation:
Fuck the hands of Abou Lahab
Fuck his money and his kids
He will burn in fire
With his wife who carries lumber (comparing the wife to a donkey)
She who wears a necklace of thorns (she was wearing pearls)

[gapminder]

I would focus more on getting to know her, and less on plotting to convert her. I mean what's wrong with you? Sounds a little like cult mentality on your end.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Muslims are allowed to listen to music, go to non-Islamic temples, date (just no sex), drink with left hand (although that’s frowned on), and pray less that five times a day (as long as praying is throughout the day).

[breakerecho]

Be muslim bro. Christianity is a piece of shit. I converted islam from judaism. I read holy guran. I think muslims are right. Christians and jews are unbelivers. Sorry for my bad English

[Tokana]

Muslims are the worst people to deal with, very ignorant and closed minded. End the relationship.