Boyfriend has a crush on another girl?

[Anonymous]

They met in December and our mutual friend confessed that a lot of people thinks he likes her. My girl friends say he looks at her often during class pretty much every time he sees her but never had the guts to approach her so I should be fine because they asked her about him and she said she has never talked to him but he's super annoying and loud. My friends heard him talk about wanting to get BJ and HJs from her though. Will He stop wanting her or should i dump him? We've been dating since July.

Stay with him. It'll pass soon enough.

Dump him. He's not gonna forget her anytime soon

[ccp16]

Is he actually doing anything? or does he just think she is hot? I admit to being in relationships and having a 'crush' on another girl. I would never even talk to her or anything, but I might fantasize here and there. I think it is normal. And if it is just a group a guys, it's pretty common to just sit around and talk about who is hot what we would like to do with them etc. BUT if he is actually making attempts to get closer to her than forget it, if he keeps it 100% in in dreams then just let it go. If he makes a move even a bit, with thoughts liek that, I would be worried...

[ccp16]

after reading the girls comments, I just want to say in stress that in my experiences at least, with several unlinked friend groups, talking about BJs or sex with girls we all think are attractive is normal. I would never talk about mine or someone elses GF though, that is strictly between the partners and rude. And I feel like there are a lot of unrealistic expectations going on for people only desiring one person in their whole life... I am still very monogamous but I still desire other women from time to time, I just would never act on it. I am sure women get together and talk about hot guys or think of one here and there that is not their BF...

[Asker]

Ok so according to a few people once when they didn't have assigned seats he told his friends they should sit somewhere in class and surprise surprise! he chose seats for them close to where she was sitting. And apparently he also tried to get his friend to ask her to Work with them for an in class project since his friend talks to her sometimes but she was already in another group so she said no.

Does this count as trying to get close to her? From a girls point of view I feel like he's trying to create opportunities to talk to her and get to know her behind my back.

[ccp16]

I mean assuming this is true, then ya I agree. But honestly, this seems like a whole spying thing... I would not approve of a girl keeping tabs on me int that way. If you can't trust him to be his own person on his own, then you need to break up. and I hate to say anything about high school because that's all you know, but just know, this would never fly outside of school. It just comes off as petty... I hope you figure out to break up either due to his promiscuous ways which is totally possible based off what you said, but it could also be insecurity on your part, and that will only kill relationships, but you are young so it is okay.

I really hope I did not say this in a mean way, I tried not to and to be helpful. but the tabs you are keeping on this kid is unhealthy and in order to have a successful relationship, you need to trust and to respect him as a separate human being from you. Not every thing your SO will do revolves around you and that is totally fine, and healthy.

[ccp16]

If you need anymore help, just let me know :)

[AleDeEurope]

So you just know what your friends told you, that means nothing. You can't dump someone just because your friends belief he likes her. What if he doesn't?
Ask him directly, tell him you've heard people say that he likes that girl, but don't dump him before you ask him, you may make a huge mistake.

[Asker]

Just trust me on this im pretty sure I know more than you? Like I mean I've got evidence of him talking about the bj and stuff about her

[AleDeEurope]

Then say it. How am I supposed to know you got evidence when you just say all you know is from what others have heard?

[Asker]

Usually people assume that the asker knows what she's talking about instead of doubting her and asking for evidence?

[AleDeEurope]

True, but if you give misleading details you're gonna confuse the reader. Remember we're not in your mind, I don't know if you have evidences or not, you just said your friends heard this and that, my opinion is gonna be based on what I read.
If you don't want this to happen write this better next time, I'm just trying to help here. Now I understand why he has a crush on another girl.

[Asker]

Because I'm a bad writer? Lol

[AleDeEurope]

No, because you don't appreciate help. You could have just told me that you do have evidence, but you got all defensive without reason.
Accept your mistakes, seriously, it will help you improve, maybe your boyfriend noticed this and is looking for an escape.

[Anonymous]

You don't deserve a guy who is looking at other girls while you're in a relationship. It seems like it's pretty well known he has a thing for her based on this but I don't know that dumping him right off the bat is necessarily the best choice. I would talk to him and see things from his perspective. Maybe it's not how it seems. But just remember, high school relationships often don't last but if they don't, it's just because you're eventually going to find a relationship that is just the most fantastic thing you've experienced and you'll know why all the others didn't work out!

[Asker]

He lied about it. He said he doesn't know her and has no clue what I'm talking about. Complete BS

[Opinion Owner]

Well if this relationship is hurting you or if he's lying, I think that's a pretty good sign that you should break it off. There's no need to be in a relationship that's harmful. I say, stand up for yourself and tell him how it is! You can find a much better guy out there. :)

[Anonymous]

Ask him directly. Then evaluate.
If he denies all that, asks for forgiveness and you see a difference, give him a chance if you want.
If he admits that, regardless of whatever else, you are only dating, so just break up. Your guy should ALWAYS care about not hurting you and making you happy first.
I don't know why you are dating a guy who talks about BJs to his friends. And why do those people seem so comfortable talking to you about that? Give yourself some respect... Does he also talk to them about what you and him do?

[Asker]

Cause they're my friends. I asked them about when I'm not there

[Cmasterson]

I wouldn't settle for my boyfriend liking another person, there's a difference between being attracted to someone, and liking them. If he's going into detail what he'd like from her and NOT you then I'd consider breaking up with him, who wants to feel like they're 2nd best? NOT YOU, don't settle and be with someone who only wants you.

[Anonymous]

Your working on assumption and presumption, those are both the mother of fu*kups, remember that. I am not saying he doesn't like her but you don't know that for sure and I know all to well that sometimes people see things that aren't really there or just see what they wanna see. I have a girlfriend but I look at other girls too, does not mean I like them, remember that.
With the BJs and HJs, guys say shit in front of their friends, it just what guys do to fit in, seem cool and all that load of shit.
You will only know for sure if you talk to him about this and I think you should. DO NOT take your friend/s word for this, a relationship should be better than that

[Paradoxical_Pro]

This particular girl may not be an issue, but if he's that willing to cheat on you he's worthless.

That being said, I'd make sure to verify his interest in her before doing anything drastic.