My dad threatened to hit me with the belt. im so scared what do I do?

[Anonymous]

he's very old and has never hit me before. he has anger management problems and im terrified. we were yelling at each other and i walked away and slammed the door shut. then he stomped in and opened the door really loud and yelled at me "IF YOU EVER SLAM THE DOOR IN MY FACE AGAIN ILL TAKE THE BELT OUT ON YOU UNTIL YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON" and he slammed the door on me and he didn't care. im so scared of him what do i do?

[Anonymous]

Don't slam the door in his face again... You shouldn't argue with your parents. They won't always be around. Just respect their rules... no matter how insane the rules may be. Parents have a knack for being over controlling and making you mad, but you live in their house. Getting into screaming matches or fights about how unfair your parents are helps no one. It's all about respect. You may not get a whole lot of it right now because, you are young. But I promise it gets you farther than arguing with them all the time. To be honest, I was hit with a belt plenty of times as a kid and I turned out just fine. I got in trouble often due to my attitude and the way I carried myself. So many parents now think spankings and all that are "too hard" on the kids and then the kids automatically scream abuse if its so much as threatened. I know there is a line between abuse and punishment but when I was growing up, I knew my attitude was not going to be tolerated. I don't resent or fear my parents for any of it either.

I know what its like to have a parent (or in my case, a step-parent) with anger management issues. He would pop me when I was being all crazy with the attitude and not listening. He would scream until he was as red as a tomato... but he never hit me for no reason. If he got mad enough to pop me one, it was because I was the one being out of line... If you were yelling at your dad, I can only imagine him feeling the same way.

[Whaela]

I disagree with the thing about “your parents won’t always be around” I always say that I give respect to those who deserve my respect and no matter how mean it might sound that includes my parents, if they’re being idiotic I am going to tell them and I’m not afraid to and I don’t think anyone should be, people don’t always like the truth but the truth is sometimes necessary and yes, I do know that it’s what gets me into trouble but I’m not going to just sit back and lie to them or let them scream at me

[Esplorare]

No offense girl, but the first thing you do is start respecting your father in his household. You may not understand the magnitude of it now at this present age and phase of life, but parents work very hard to keep a roof over your head that includes air conditioning when it's hot and heating during winters full of blizzards, to keep you fed, and take care of your needs if you get sick or break a bone. I imagine it is extremely upsetting to commit your life's schedule, money, and energy into supporting a child then having them yell in your face and slam/possibly damage the property you pay for. No more disrespecting him on such a toxic level; that will help avoid situations like this.

Can't say for sure without knowing him but chances are if he has never hit you before then he was just angry, at his boiling point, and talking shit because you were so out of line and disrespectful that rational words weren't effective enough. Is your mother in the household? Any siblings?

[Asker]

ughhh everything i say he manipulates and turns it into an argument!! its not my fault! yes my mom and two brothers are home. but they never say anything when he yells at me

[Esplorare]

Start avoiding him. Begin only speaking to him when you have to. Get involved in activities and start hanging out with friends, bonding with their families, and having dinner with them/spending the night with them to avoid being home. Parent-child relationships are tricky. No parent just behaves like that for no reason. Chances are, his father behaved that way. It all becomes more clear once you grow older and learn what type of household attitudes and habit your parent was saturated in. I wouldn't recommend calling CPS (child protective services) unless you end up with bruises or bleeding. This is because once you do that, they will treat your father like a criminal even if he is not. They will harshly judge him on his moments of lacking self-control and that is going to cause an ugly ripple effect in your family that may never go away.

[Esplorare]

Thanks for MHO :)

I'd like to keep chatting with you about this until you feel like you have the tools to handle this situation in a way that the future you will thank you for.

[Whaela]

Hey, my dad does the same thing to me and I don’t know what to do, I can’t go to friends houses and stuff because he doesn’t let me. What do I do?

[Vesuvius87]

That's no excuse to use a belt on a child either. If he really means it, you need to report that.
I think that if a parent still has to rely on using an object or laying their hands on their child when he/she is a teen... there is something seriously wrong at home.

He's scooping down to your level too. Even worse because he's an adult and is suppose to act in a civilized manner.

[Asker]

what do you mean scooping to my level? i know i just dont know how to confront him! we yell all the time its driving me crazy!

[Vesuvius87]

He's scooping to your level because as a parent, they are suppose to teach you to make better decisions through examples. How is yelling back at you and threatening you to hit you with an object any good?

[Vesuvius87]

I really hate the fact of the child always being in the wrong and that it's us who are always suppose to respect our parents. Respect is a two-way street. You don't just get it because of your title as the mother/father but you earn it.

[Whaela]

That’s exactly what I’ve been saying, I give people respect if they earn or deserve it

[DivaMonae]

Well I would personally say you have no right to put your hands on me (or the belt) and if you do I'll call the cops. It's child abuse!

But if you do that I honestly think it's
just going to get worse. Just listen to him.

[RationalLioness]

I first wouldn't be yelling at my dad. I don't know what's wrong with kids these days. I grew up respecting my parents and if I yelled, I got slapped. It's disrespectful.

That said, I think he was simply angry and I doubt he'd bring out the Equalizer.

[Asker]

we were yelling at each other it takes to people to yell. he does this all the time but he's never threatened me before like this. you shouldve seen him

[RationalLioness]

Doesn't matter. I wouldn't yell at my parents and I still find it disrespectful. Also, no little girl. It takes a PERSON--singular--to yell. Two people don't need to shout in order to yell.

You yelled back at him. He was angry and he has a disrespectful kid who yelled back at him. I'm on his side. I doubt he would have spanked you (and spanking isn't a good form of punishment anyway), but since he didn't touch you, you seem to be in the wrong.

He should get into anger management if he does have it though.

[Esplorare]

Agreed. Great post!

[Asker]

have you ever seen an argument where the man is yelling and the girl is trying to talk at a regular tone? its kind of impossible to just let someone yell at you

[RationalLioness]

I have been in such a situation but if I had said something like you, I would have been beat more than likely. Listen, my brothers have been spanked for not learning their Sunday school lessons. One younger brother was spanked because I beat him in basketball.

My fucktard sperm-donor is more irrational than your father, I'm betting. All your father has is anger issues as you claim. And if you KNOW that he has those issues, I wouldn't be slamming the door in his face in a fit of anger.

[Esplorare]

@Asker Here's the thing: it's not just "a man", it's your father. It's the man who gave you life. Parents aren't perfect, they have their fair share of flaws and underdeveloped skills but try and view the extreme vulnerability that comes with being a parent. Your child is most likely to be the only human being who sees you in your full entirety. The only human being to witness you fall apart with the parent being powerless to mask what's going on. In a way, children are expected to honor where their parents are mentally and spiritually as apposed to the outside world who would scrutinize them and treat them with insensitivity. It's hard to explain, but considering he's never hit you, I'm guessing he's just a troubled man who has some issues to work out.

[Whaela]

@Esplorare I completely disagree and hate it when parents say you have to respect them because they have birth to you, I have said it multiple times on this post and I’ll say it again I give respect where respect is due

[Anonymous]

Don't slam the door in his face again. Problem solved.

[RationalLioness]

^^^There you go.

[Anonymous]

Lock that door and wait for a few hours. Or days. Hopefully he won't do it. If he really does though, get some help and fast.

[Whaela]

Same thing happens to me but I don’t have a lock on my door, what now?

[Opinion Owner]

@Whaela Got anything big and heavy enough to block it?

[Whaela]

Yeah but if I blocked it off my dad would get more pissed, wouldn’t he?

[Opinion Owner]

@Whaela Yeah but it'd give him time to cool down. Can't get in if the only way is blocked.

[ChivalryIsNotDead101]

What should you do? I don't know, but I bet you won't slam that door again.

[jacquesvol]

Go to your mom or her sister, eventually to grandparents

[Klaatu51]

Report him!!!

[Vesuvius87]

Lol... funny how you're getting downvoted by pro-spankers for simply thinking it's not right to hit a child with a belt.

[Vesuvius87]

and coming shockingly coming from girls

[Klaatu51]

@Vesuvius87 huh that's fuckin weird... is it ok for a dad 2 hit his kid wid a belt?

[Vesuvius87]

Nope, it's not. I don't think anyone has any rights to hit you with a belt nor any object.

[Vesuvius87]

I'm just shocked that this time, all the ''I got hit with a belt growing up or I got slapped'' suddenly seemed ok and the girls upvoting those answers.

[Klaatu51]

@Vesuvius87 sad 2 see many people support those savage old-fashioned methods

[Anonymous]

that's illegal!

[Asker]

i wouldve shouted that at him but im too scared of him to do anything !! ughhh

[RationalLioness]

No it's not. Not in America.

[Whaela]

@RationalLioness It’s not illegal here either, it’s apparently called “discipline”

[Succcesssfulll]

Stay out of his way.