Why I still dream of my childhood bully even if almost a decade has passed since the last time I came across him?

[Anonymous]

I hardly think bout him during da day though, but this is weird.

He still pops-up occasionally in my dreams though. Weird thing’s I’m portrayed in my dreams as my current-self (almost 24 yo, wid my current appearance) whilst he’s portrayed as his then self (16 yo. Last time we saw each other i was 14 and he was 16) and he appears mostly as a person who pretends 2 b a friend, then turns out 2 b an enemy :

Anybody wid similar x-perience?

[ObscuredBeyond]

He must have made some argument or point at some point that you have not made peace with. Your brain is having difficulty reconciling that. So now, your mind is bringing it to your attention.

I still think about the woman in 2007 that tried to ruin my life. Being sabotaged, badmouthed, blindsided, and having half the school treating me like I was somehow the bad guy in everything, was very upsetting. On top of that, the constant threats, accusations, speculations, and surveillance I was under.

And I was alone in a dorm where I had few others to talk to - and nobody who seemed all that interested in talking to me anyway. Few if any I could relate to. And not knowing whom to trust. Even though I got everything cleared up, I was never the same after that summer. The best way to describe how I felt: psychologically raped.

If everything were always peachy nowadays, it might not seem like a big deal. Yet, I've found that there are a lot of douche-canoes where I live that every so often, do something that triggers related memories. And I relive my summer in Hell all over again in that moment.

Sounds like you are similarly traumatized. Only it's your subconscious that can't let go. With me, it's my emotional health when awake that is at risk.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

As a victim of horrible bullying I can't imagine
dreaming of them cause of what they did to me
but i do know it leaves scars with us for life and
it's so hard to let go.. i do sympathize with you
having dreams over your bully i do know all about
this i know from past experience i went to Middle
and High school with anxiety everyday worrying
what would the day bring and i urge any parents
who have kids out there being bullied please take
action against the school district or the bully's
cause if you don't then it leaves you scarred
for life i am living proof that one can overcome
bullies but it never leaves you it will stay with
you for life cause it's done with me i tend not
to deal with bullies online i swear i will take
legal action against them i guess that's why
they leave me alone cause they know i do not
take bullying lying down and I'm sorry you've
went through this i hope things get better for you.

[Asker]

actually yeah now things r better for me not only coz i don't get bullied anymore, but for various other reasons. also i'm mad at myself sometimes coz back then i wasn't tellin my mom i was being bullied. till she forced me 2 tell wot was happenin coz i was telln her i don't wanna go 2 school, but never said y i didn't wanna go. also most teachers weren't givin a shit bout this, coz they thought we were "just playin"... maybe some of em would approach us and just tell "hey please don't fight.. this is a school"

thanks 4 yer answer though :)

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Your welcome :)
Yeah i agree with you :)

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Thank You for Mho :)

[aliceinrealworld01]

I used to get bullied by my whole class in primary school. It was an awful experience and I still have dreams about it. i don't even think about that time and I got over it ages ago, but it must have been traumatising to my subconscious because people who bullied me still pop up in my dreams from time to time. Like sometimes I'll be friends with them and it feels so good, sometimes I go through the whole experience of getting bullied again. Sometimes I'm in school again like no time ever passed. I think early experiences get stuck in our subconsciousness and pop up from time to time. Are you a little bit insecure in everyday life? Maybe the bully represents your insecurity and when you go through times when you aren't feeling too confident in life, he pops up as a symbol of that in your mind?

[Asker]

not much insecure, but i disown my teen self mostly.

thanks though

[astatine]

you need closure.
you hate yourself for not being able to do anything in order to defend yourself, and jut want a chance to make him pay, because now you think you think you are strong enough (the reason why you see yourself as your present self, and him, as the last time you saw him... not a very sound hypothesis, but i tried)

maybe most of your bullies have been backstabbers? or you have encountered many enemies who pose to be your friends?

[Asker]

i had a former friend who turned 2 b an enemy... and no, age has nothing 2 do wid being strong i believe... hm

[astatine]

not age per se, but the fact that you are much stronger, both emotionally and physically than you were some years back

[Asker]

Physically i'm less stronger now but i'm faster n more agile LOL
And i don't get angry as often as i used 2 back then... hardly get angry in fact

[Stacyzee]

When you're portrayed much older in your dream (and not the age as when the bullying took place), because perhaps the dream is signifying your growth as a person.

Subconsciously , although you may think you are over the fact that you were bullied you probably aren't.
It still effects you till this day even though you may have grown stronger.

[Asker]

Yup... truth is i'm different... baack then i was really really shy. Now i'm not totally opened up... but definetely not shy. Somewhere in between i'd say... good progress i believe :D

[xDavisx]

Bully
To dream that you are a bully indicates your tendency to dominate a conversation, relationship or situation. You have difficulties in recognizing your weaknesses and asking for help when you need it.

To see a bully or be bullied in your dream signifies repressed rage. The bully may be seen as your shadow Self which you have rejected.

According to Dreammoods ;P

[Asker]

"The bully may be seen as your shadow Self which you have rejected."<--- actually i disown my teen self... so yeah might b true

thanks :)

[immjusttmee]

maybe because you haven't forgiven him? maybe he has affected your personality and perhaps your self conscious mind is trying to tell you to move on? Once I have repeated nightmares, when I was no longer afraid of this figures in my nightmares, I no longer had nightmares.

[Asker]

I'd never 4give such a guy...

[immjusttmee]

I get your pain, but by not forgiving him, you're intently allowing him to still bother you. If You truly took the courage to forgive him, than your consciousness would stop thinking of the bullying and move on

[KDA20]

I think we often have random flashbacks and a bully will definitely will have left a big impression on you - He is like the bogeyman now he is not real, he can't hurt you anymore, you have a new life now

[mr90skid]

Longing for revenge? He must of been a real bad mothafucka for you to still dream about him

[Asker]

yup he was a total asshole

[Remonster]

Unresolved trauma maybe? Maybe not that severe but as I grew older my dreams highlighted my fears and insecurities more than the wild fantasies I dreamed about as a kid/teenager.

[9mfeo]

I used to have a recurring stress dream of marrying my ex boyfriend's best friend (whom I hated and who disliked me as well) because I associated marriage with pain and suffering.

[A-Y-Y-Y--L-M-A-O]

Don't worry klaatu ily and won't bully you. probs because he give you a bad experience