Why am I so jealous? How do I stop feeling like this?

[Candy12345]

This question is for Muslims. If you're not a Muslim that's okay, but it's just best that you don't answer. So if men get the Hoor Al- 'Ayn then what do women get? The hadiths that state that the women of the world will be more beautiful than them are very weak. So that means that they will most likely be way prettier than us. I'm so so so jealous. I don't want to pray, fast, do anything religious anymore. I think that if rather be in hell. I don't usually get jealous of other girls then why am I jealous of women that I haven't seen?

[lifes_curve_ball]

Assalamualaikum, I get where you're coming from but remember we've been told only a minuscule amount of the hereafter. From a hadith (I think in Tabrani not fully certain if it's exactly from there though and I'd need time to find it again if you want an exact quote and source) we know that the believing women will be far greater than the hoor al ayns and have superiority over them in every sense. We also know that in jannah you will get everything you desire and more and that everything gets better and more the longer you're there. Plus you'll get to see Allah (SWT) Inshallah and come on isn't that the thing everyone wants even if they don't believe they go well show me God, why can't I see Him if He's there etc.

I'm honestly not the best to answer this and my answer doesn't do your q nor does it do the Islamic answer to it any real justice, it's just my attempt at trying to answer and help. Remember, the promise of Allah (SWT) is that those who enter jannah will get everything their hearts want and more so don't fret. A promise from me or someone else is just words, not even worth the paper that the words are written on but a promise from God is a guarantee that you'll get it.

And don't say you'd rather be in hell, Inshallah we don't see a moment of hell.

[Candy12345]

That hadith is very weak. So we don't really know who is actually going to be more superior. I desire that me and my husband only be alone together. But is that possible? No. Because if I get into Jannah Allah will just remove that desire from my heart. So Instead of having all my desires fulfilled, I will just have my desires removed from my mind. That's not what I want! I just want to be single for all of eternity and if I'm not then I want my husband to commit Zina and for him to cheat on me. Then right before he dies he can repent sincerily. All of my desires will not be fulfilled, my desires will just be removed from my heart. What if I want 70 men? Will I get that? No.

[lifes_curve_ball]

Well technically if a hadith is weak you don't discount it as false but neither do you act upon it, it is just that, weak. But that would require to delve into the science of isnad. As far as this particular one, I don't recall the strength of it or not.

As far as wanting him to commit zina, why would you want that? Why would anyone want that? So yeah if you're saying you want someone to do something evil or say you want someone to eat their own arms in front of you right now, then yeah thoughts like that will be gone as you will be purified (as would anyone else entering jannah).

Also nothing says that the hoor al ayns are compulsory for the men to get, it's an option. And just because something wasn't specifically mentioned as an option for you doesn't mean that that option need not exists and for me or you to jump and say it doesn't without knowledge is pointless.

[Candy12345]

Well obviously, men aren't going to deny them. They want to have sex with every woman they see

(I'm not sexist. It is an exxageration with truth in it)

[lifes_curve_ball]

I never called you sexist, chill lol

And if you really think about it the biggest promise is to see Allah (SWT). Then everything else and even then when you rank the other stuff I think the getting all your heart desires ranks above any one specific promise as your heart may desire one thing that was mentioned more than another or even desire something unmentioned (for the sake of this let's say that you're really into gaming and gold so you want a mansion made of gold with an endless supply of games to entertain you) over that which was mentioned.

That you would get more than what you desire encompasses both what was specifically mentioned and what wasn't, it's not an impossibility that you can get something even though it's not specifically mentioned as God can just make it happen as well as the fact that that could already be a reward just it wasn't told to us as we were told only a minuscule amount of the akhirah.

[lifes_curve_ball]

It's as if I say I'm gonna teach you to play basketball later on then I go now in a week we're gonna run layup drills. Just cause I haven't specifically mentioned each skill specifically doesn't mean I won't show it to you as my promise was to teach you the whole sport, it's just that I specifically mentioned one drill that I'm gonna show you and said it'll be next week. The bigger promise still encompasses the layup drill and more.

[Candy12345]

To be honest, I'd think that you'd only show me how to throw the basketball in a hoop. And that wouldn't even be a possibility because I suck at sports. Anyways, I don't feel jealous anymore. I've accepted the fact that men can have 4000 wives because they just want to stick their penis in everything. I will just be happy alone.

[Saydou]

Reading this was quite unexpected but let me try to explain this thing, it looks like you are bit very thinking there, Hoora Ayns are for the men who avoided premarital sex but the number of guys who avoid sex before marriage is decreasing in our generation, also if you are jealous your husband will get 72 wives, then just remember our prophet had 11 wives but everyone of then was happy and they were all same again just imagine inside God's heaven there will be probably justice there, so my conclusion is don't let shaytan dedicate you, ask Allah forgiveness and guidance say Astaghfrallah

[Candy12345]

I wish that my husband cheats on me and commits Zina. And then right before he dies he repents sincerity

[Candy12345]

I don't want anything anymore. I am obviously not going to get what I want. (My husband only being with me) Allah will just remove the jealousy from my heart instead of filling my desire to be monogamous with my husband.

[Candy12345]

And if all my desires are going to be fulfilled in Jannah? Obviously not tht one. I want to be single for all eternity then.

[Saydou]

Yeah... in sha Allah it will be alright ,,,, don't worry about it :)

[ArabianPwincess197]

You haven't even seen Hell and you want to be in it. Pray your wish doesn't come true cause that is one place you don't ever wanna be in. Our Prophet SalAllahu Alayhi Wasalam dedicated his whole existence praying for our welfare. The only thing he wanted was for us to go to Heaven and live there eternally. And you're rejecting everything he's done for you just cause of a paltry emotion you are feeling.
Biologically speaking men have a higher need for sex. Us women don't think about it much but they do a lot. Hence the Hoors are for them. The 40 Hoor thing is for martyrs I think.
But Allah has given us a lot in this life Alhamdulillah and will give us much more than we can ever imagine in the Afterlife. Its a known fact that women love jewellery etc so we will have unimaginable jewels to wear in Heaven. And we will also have handsome male servants at our beck and call. So we also are given a lot but based on our needs.
And from what I heard the Muslim women of this world would be much prettier than the Hoors because they chose to do ibaadat of Allah. They did it willingly and their husband wills have eyes only for them because of that. Something along those lines I once read on Instagram.

[Candy12345]

Those hadiths are weak though

[ArabianPwincess197]

Doesn't matter. The Quran and Islam are not weak! Trust Allah above anything. After hardship comes ease. See this as a test. Maybe Allah is testing you - And Allah gives his Hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. We all are tested in some way. I suggest do dhikr of Allah and pray. Both will help you stay at ease. Also read Ayat Ul Kursi. @YazanAA @lifes_curve_ball @Saydou - can you guys input anything?

[Candy12345]

Maybe Allah is testing me, I don't know. I just feel like I am not going to get what I want so why should I even strive for it. I want my husband to myself. That is obviously not possible because he'll get 72 wives if he is good.

[ArabianPwincess197]

Lmao so will all the other Muslim women husbands! You're not the exception! Learn to compromise love. Besides there will be no such thing as Jealous in Jannah!

[Candy12345]

I don't get it. All the other Muslim women husband? What?

[Candy12345]

And plus the hoors might be prettier than us so what is even the point

[Candy12345]

When he's obviously gonna love the prettier hoors more

[ArabianPwincess197]

A husband will love his wives equally in the Afterlife! Our Allah is Ar Rahman Ar Raheem (The Most Beneficent and Most Merciful). Do you think he will be unjust to us!
I meant you're not the ONLY Muslim woman who's husband will have Hoors. Every other Muslim woman in this world will share her husband with the Hoors. Get over it love. Not much you can do. Plus Jannat is a place where you won't even know what grief is let alone jealousy. A place where every desire, every wish will come true before you can even ask for it

[Candy12345]

It's a male dominant religion and I wish I was a guy. (I'm not transgender or anything) I don't even want a husband anymore. Ah whatever. Inshallah I'll get over it or the shaitan will lead me astray. I think that maybe that's best. Astagfrallah

Anyways, thanks for trying to help

[ArabianPwincess197]

He's getting to you cause you're letting him. Like I said get over this mindset and no its not a male dominated religion. And do dhikr of Allah, pray - it'll help

[Candy12345]

Oh, by the way. I found you on wattpad

[ArabianPwincess197]

You did lol. When?

[Candy12345]

A long time agi. I was reading this Muslim love story about Safia and her husband or something. I was looking at the comments and I saw the same username lol

[Saydou]

Thanks AP :) i left opinion for her

[ArabianPwincess197]

Oh yeah it was a good book. A Muslim romantic journey I think its called

@Saydou JazakAllah Khayran (Thankyou) I read your opinion. It was great :)

[chocolateismylover]

I'm really bad at explaining things but I can definitely relate to being in a low point religiously.

[Candy12345]

Are you still in a low point?

[chocolateismylover]

yeah. I can be really good at hiding it.

[Candy12345]

You hide it very well actually haha

[chocolateismylover]

Is that the same for you?

[Candy12345]

I'm open about the way I am as a Muslim and most people consider me to be a terrible one. Lol

[chocolateismylover]

Lol I'm only really open about that part of me to a couple of people.

Everyone else has a different view of me and they wouldn't believe it whenever I try to tell them.

I don't think you've reached my level of terrible.

[Candy12345]

Well... May Allah guide and forgive us. I guess are souls are weak and we need to renew them

[chocolateismylover]

Ameen and definitely.

[Candy12345]

Inshallah and ameen

I guess that the shaitan really gets to us

[ArabianPwincess197]

Read Ayat Ul Kursi and do dhikr of Allah :)

[YazanAA]

Hahahahahahaaaaaa omggggg Hahahahahahaha I can't stop laughing 😂😂😂😂

[Candy12345]

This is a serious problem... :(

[YazanAA]

Please tell me that you are not being serious with this question... Sweetheart, you can't be that... Ugh what can I see?

[Candy12345]

I'm being serious, I think I'm loosing my faith but I don't want to.

What can you see?

[YazanAA]

You are losing your faith because you are jealous of Al-hoor Al-'ayn? ... The thirst

[Candy12345]

Yes... I only want one man but he's probably going to be busy with his 72 other wives. I don't really have to worry though because I'm not a very good Muslim so I'll just have to be good to get in Jannah but I don't even want Jannah anymore so how can I be good? 😭😭😭😭 I don't want to go to hell but I think I will be happier there astagfrallah😭😭😭

[YazanAA]

1000000000000000x *faceplam* ... What the fuck are you talking about?

@ArabianPwincess197 please come and safe me from this lol

[Candy12345]

I knew I was beyond help. Astagfrallah may Allah guide me

[ArabianPwincess197]

The things I read on here flabbergast me lol

[YazanAA]

@ArabianPwincess197 I can't believe that she is saying this lol

@asker the feelings that you have in real life are different than the feelings you will have in the afterlife.

[Candy12345]

I know that

[YazanAA]

Instead of worrying about that, worry about your Qatari husband who will have 4 wives lol 😜

[Candy12345]

Only 0.1% of Qatari men take second and third and forth wives. And if my husband is in the 0.1% I'll divorce him

[YazanAA]

Oh come on, don't lie, how many wives does your father have? 2? 3? 4? ... Was your mom the 4th one?

[Candy12345]

qatarskeptic.blogspot.com/.../...e-statistics.html you can skim this until you read about the 6% of men only have second and other wives in qatar

I meant to say 6% actually. My dad only has one, what about yours? :p

[YazanAA]

Well 6% is a high percentage comparing to other countries, polygamous marriages constitute 1-3% of the Muslim marriages. And my dad has only one lol, polygamy is very rare in Palestine.

[Candy12345]

And 96% of of marriages in qatar have only one woman and one man. That percentage is also very high

[Candy12345]

Oops I meant 94% :p

[lifes_curve_ball]

Bro, chill with the laughing, something big in your eyes may be insignificant in someone else's and vice versa.

[YazanAA]

@lifes_curve_ball lol dude, I couldn't believe that she is asking this.

And welcome back by the way

[lifes_curve_ball]

Thanks for the welcome back, I didn't think anyone would notice I was gone lol

[Anonymous]

sin its that simple, even if you wanted too stop you couldn't but you can do it less

[Candy12345]

I already sin but sinning more is not an option

[Opinion Owner]

well at least you're on the right track

[Candy12345]

Right track to where? Are you even Muslim

[LamarDavis]

You can't i can't stop either

[Candy12345]

Stop being jealous of what?