Jealousy generally comes from insecurity about self or a void in the relationship. It could also be both. If you feel insecure about yourself, ask yourself what your realistic expectations are of yourself and then set up a plan of attack and measure your progress. You won't feel better about yourself by focusing on others. Never compare yourself to others. Compete against your own best score.
To eliminate voids in the relationship, start by having a conversation with your partner, so both of you can clearly identify what each of you value in a relationship. Focus on what you can do rather than what you believe the other should do. If you appreciate communication or intimacy or creativity or teamwork, do what you can do to initiate and nurture these aspects. If you expect your partner to read your mind, you'll end up frustrated and disappointed. Schedule time rather than just take what's left over. Find out what he values and learn how you can add something special in those areas. The more you focus on what you bring to the relationship rather than what you expect from it, the more motivated healthy partners will be to do the same.
If you discover you're on the spectrum, learn all you can about it. Understand, no two people on the spectrum are alike, but at least you can become aware of signs to look for and potential ways to address those things. Be realistic. Focus on what you do add to the relationship rather than beat yourself up for being different. If he didn't see value in you, he wouldn't have chosen you. Learn about what he appreciates and how to enhance those qualities.
Whatever direction you face is the direction you'll go. By focusing on negative, you'll get more negative; by focusing on positive, you'll get more positive. Focus on what you do want rather than what you don't want. The quickest way to push people out of your life is to assume, accuse, blame, criticize, demand and tell them what they should or shouldn't do. Keep your eye on a clear concise objective, and measure your progress. If you need help, never be afraid to ask for it.
Opposite sex friendships between coworkers are common, and seldom cause for alarm. If it bothers you that much, why not ask to be included in the group? If there is nothing going on then he won't mind. In the meantime, you can keep and eye on your boyfriend and perhaps make some new bff's at the same time.
For what it's worth, years ago I had a girlfriend who accused me of cheating on her with a female colleague at the office. That female colleague was a lesbian- a solid gold lesbian, which means that she'd never once been with a man. The girlfriend looked foolish, but the jealousy continued until I could no longer put up with it.
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Stop with the jealousy and trust that man
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