Why do people always tell me their problems?

[Anonymous]

I'm kinda likable I guess. Don't really see how. I'm really quiet, and yet people are constantly talking to me, and I've had A LOT of people tell me that if I ever need anything I'm welcome to come to them. No matter what it is. But I've noticed that even though I don't say much, people feel comfortable enough to come to me with their problems. I don't really give them advice, and I don't really give them words of comfort, because I know I can't know exactly what anyone is going through. So I'm never sure what to say. So I kinda just stare at them and let them vent and if they need it I'll give them a hug and all.

But I don't really get why. These people hardly know anything about me when you think about it. I NEVER share my problems. And sometimes people really press into me when they know something is wrong, and I'll just lie then. Just say I'm tired, didn't sleep much. Or that customers are driving me crazy. Easy stuff. I don't like weighing people down with my problems.

But see, they don't know things about me. And I'm not very talkative, and yet everyone seems to consider me their personal therapist? Why is this?

[Bleh-___-]

Sometimes the biggest help you can give somebody is just being willing to listen. You don't even have to say anything, letting them talk out their problems is therapeutic enough. Surprisingly, not many people have that quality so you should be flattered.
Make sure their problems aren't starting to overwhelm/weigh down on you. I've been in your position where I'm the quiet girl that everybody vents to and it can become stressful. Kind of like secondhand PTSD (obviously an exaggeration but you get the idea).

[Asker]

Yeah sometimes I do get overwhelmed, but I have my boyfriend whose actually quieter than I am. Though somehow when we're together we just talk and laugh. He makes me feel better, but no one really talks to him about their problems. I think it might be because he's a guy? It sounds sexist, but a small girl is just less threatening and easier to talk to than a guy.

And also going out to drink every now and then helps too. I don't mean go and become an alcoholic, but with the first pay check every month, I like to go out and drink a bit. Nothing crazy, and usually I only stayed buzzed. Just to unwind, you know?

[Bleh-___-]

I understand :) You're a good friend but look out for your own mental wellbeing too. If it's becoming overwhelming, try to space out the venting sessions so you aren't bombarded with them or once in a while make yourself unavailable to vent to if that makes sense. You don't have to completely shut down the people opening up to you but moderation is key.

[UsernameCreated]

I'm in the same situation. People are constantly asking for my advice and opinions on things because I'm a "logical unsympathetic brutally honest ass hole". Now, I agree with that, but I find it extremely hard to believe that theyou believe that's a good enough reason to talk to me about their problems. Man, I'm a busy guy I got shit to do. Like being assholes to other people.

[ThePetSquirrel]

They perceive you as reliable and trustworthy, even if they hardly know you. Embrace it, it will come in handy eventually, especially if you're in a relationship.

[Asker]

Well I'm not angry or anything, I like that I help them. And I like that they feel they can talk to me. It's just strange. I don't even help. I just stand there and look at them while they tell me their problems. Occasionally I ask for further details on their problems, but that's about it

[ThePetSquirrel]

I've had a few people do that to me too, but I don't feel like I'm very helpful.
Anyway, do you need to discuss any of your problems?

[Asker]

Not really, I mean, sometimes I kinda want too, but someone else always kinda has something on their plate so I don't wanna bother them. So I kinda get put on the back burner, I've gotten used to it though.

[ThePetSquirrel]

Ok. If you decide you want to talk, you can just message me.

[Asker]

Oh, thank you, I appreciate the thought

[Husseiin]

You are most probably an “empath” person , i would totally recommend for you to google it as i won't be able to explain it to you to be honest, because its a huge topic and for me i am still struggling to understand and dealing being an empath , just google it and if you are one you will know right away.

I really hope this helps because when i knew i was really glad with what i read and relieved with the answers i got for my questions

[Chico_brah]

People look up and admire you. They want your advice.

[ASEXY]

It's probably because you're nice and you're a good listener.

[Anonymous]

I don't know lol?