Why won't my girlfriend travel with me?

[Anonymous]

We've been dating for 18 months and living together for 6 months. Whenever I bring up someplace I want to go on vacation, it causes stress and arguments. She says, "I just don't like to travel like you do." I tell her that I'm willing to pay for everything and make any concessions to the travel arrangements. She avoids giving a direct answer and says, "no" when pushed.

Is there a way to overcome this "travel anxiety" or is there another reason?

[ArtistBboy]

No direct answer = there's always a secondary reason.

Plausible reasons:

- Her family is needing her assistance right now

- She has secret plans for the two of you that will clash with your travel plans

- She might be nautious on airplanes

- Maybe she doesn't like the vacation choice.

etc

Ways to overcome this resistance:

Option 1) Include her in the planning

- Ask her where she wants to go and then ask her why; etc.. Build trust with her that you want to know more about her; it's a way for you to bond with her

Option 2) Explain why it's important that she joins

- Example: "Babe I want to take you on a vacation so that we can get out of this town for a second. We have people lined up to take care of everything that's going on; the pets will be taken care of and the bills will be paid. It would mean a lot if you would come with me"

Option 3) Be patient and respectful

- If she is showing stress or starting to argue, you will rarely be able to convince her; it's best to just let her have some distance from the idea of traveling so she can relax, then when she is calmed down you can approach her again in the future about traveling.

etc

~ ArtistBBoy