My girlfriend is nearly homeless, again. How do I help?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly a year now and she is borderline homeless for the second time in this relationship. One month into our relationship for the first time she had lost her job, and couldn't hold down any job due to her poor relationship with her mother and health issues. Towards the beginning of this year she was able to find help Through her church, getting some health issues taken care of snd finding a job she still holds to this day.

her mother has recently found a new lover, and has decided to get married and move... meaning my 19 year old girlfriend will be on her own and will not be able to support herself alone, albeit working a full time job. Her original plan was to apply for school and use student housing as a place to live while she gets a degree through a technical school. Her mother refuses to sign her government assistance forms, and she cannot sign it herself as her mother claims her as a dependent. Mind you this is the same mother who took out a credit card in my girlfriends name and ruined my girlfriends credit.

at this rate she has nowhere to go. Her plan is to live in her aging car with many issues. We have not been able to find a cheap place for her to stay, and know nobody looking for a roommate.

We haven't been getting along that great the past few months which adds to the stress, though I'm still trying to make sure she has/finds a safe, stable home- something she's been lacking her entire life.

Am I in the wrong for contemplating leaving this relationship? We had a severely rough patch the first time she went through homelessness which has left a bitter taste in my mouth. I'm too young to change my entire lifestyle to support someone, nor is it within my means to have her stay with me. The last thing someone wants to see is someone they love (d) on the streets though.

[Wonderer89]

It's not your responsibility to fix her life. You can help support her emotionally and do things where you can but no more than that is expected.
She needs to adult up and cut her mother off. She can declare independence away from her mother so she doesn't need her to sign anything for her government assistance. If she needs interim accomodation she can start contacting shelters or hostels to stay in until she can get student housing

[Messorem]

I don't know if you know what means to have relationship in the country you live in bit in mine we don't take our relationships like a job and we care for our partners so if something like this shit happens we are trying to give 110% of our selves to help

[Wonderer89]

@Messorem they aren't in that kind of relationship. They're young, it's quite a short relationship where things haven't been the best for awhile and taking her burdens on could completely alter his life prospects and opportunities.
They aren't married, and nowhere close to it. You're judgement and completely incorrect assumption on my life and experience are irrelevant

[Messorem]

kk but that's experience for both parties. So it's important you was the that wrote "adult up"

[Wonderer89]

@Messorem she's 19. She doesn't need to be a dependant under her mother and has the free will to change that. She can absolutely "adult up" and stop pandering to her mothers refusal to sign the forms

[Messorem]

are you feminist of some sort? What about she is 19, she is still a girl, she have to study not to "adult-up" it's not like you are playing rpg game

[Wonderer89]

@Messorem she isn't a child, and treating her as such is even further detrimental to her growing up. She's legally an adult and fully capable of making her own decisions and taking responsibility for herself. That's not to say it won't be difficult, sad and trying - but it doesn't take away from the fact it's completely possible.
Millions of people manage to do it every single day.

Anyway good luck OP, make the best decision for you Hun and give what you feel you can.

[KadBitty]

You're not wrong at all. It's gonna be hard though! For both of you.

[iBluestar]

Have her live with you, and try to communicate better.

[Asker]

I live in my mothers house yet, my mother doesn't want her to live with us.

[AnthonyDrake]

go to D. H. R and tell them everything that happened