When someone says "I love you" but you don't love them back, what do you say?

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I've been in that situation a few times and I just never know what to say.. I usually end up hesitating before I lie and say "i love you too"
which is terrible, but I always feel bad... not saying it back.

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2718

Most Helpful Girl

  • I told my ex that I was seeing for three months and spending almost every night with that I was in love with her and she broke up with me because of it. Well she didn't even realize that it was a relationship. She just told me she was confused and wasn't sure how she felt and I started to cry. She said "I'm not good at this" and got up and left me there and then ghosted me for a month before finally writing me an email that basically said that since I was the first girl she was with and she felt safe with me and had fun with me but still wasn't sure about her sexual orientation. So ya I fell for and said I love you to someone who most likely wasn't actually sexually or romantically attracted to my gender. I'd been hurt before so it was a really hard thing for me to open up and tell her and I'd honestly thought based on our chemistry and how happy we seemed to be together that she would feel the same way and I was clearly way off.

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    • Sorry I know you didn't ask to hear my whole depressing story but sometimes when I'm missing her really bad I wish she would have just lied and said she loved me too. Even if it had been a lie I'd still have her and wouldn't know any better and would probably be a lot happier. So ya if your with someone and the relationship is actually going good and you do have feelings for the person or think you could feel more in time than I think you should say it back instead of hurting them. I doing think it should ever be a reason for breaking up with someone.

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    • Really? Sorry I was just trying to be honest.

    • Nah. Ur 100% fine. Shit just is so sad.

Most Helpful Guy

  • "Love you"

    Jerry: No I?
    George: No I!
    Jerry: So she just says "Love you"?
    George: Yup.
    Jerry: That's odd. Well, have you asked her about it?
    George: Are you serious?
    Jerry brushes it off with a shrug and smirk before sliding over after noticing Elaine walking in
    Elaine: What's up?
    Jerry motions to George
    George: Lana won't say "I love you", she only says "love you".
    Elaine: Have you asked her about it?
    George just stares at Elaine
    Elaine: Oh... Right. Anyways, I don't see what the big deal is.
    Jerry: You don't see what the big deal is?
    Elaine: I don't. She's saying it, so what if there isn't an I or not.
    Jerry: It's more personable with the I. When a woman says "I love you", you know she's saying it to you. What if she says "love you" when in a group of people? Is she saying it to everyone?
    Elaine: Eh

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 26

  • Saying "I love you" to spare someone their feelings is actually going to do the reverse when they find out you didn't love them. There's no need to lie about it. Things said back instead of "I love you" can be just as nice.

    "I have a hard time saying those words back, but just know that I have a lot of feelings for you too."

    "Everyone says 'I love you'. I'd rather you show me than you or I tell each other the words."

    "I didn't know you felt so strong about me. I care about you, and hope you can give me some time to find my way of saying it back to you."

    "You love me? Wow.. the day I get the courage to tell you that I love you back, you're going to have a hard time getting rid of me!" :)

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  • I would say that I love them as a person but I don't feel the same way romantically. And besides, 9/10x if their love isn't because of action and they want to, it's usually about emotions and feelings which show's they really don't love you. Why? Because usually they don't know how to love you the way you need to be loved. Never say what you don't mean. Love is a choice. NOT a FEELING! Always remember that and leave that crazy 'Dear John' mess in 'Dear John'. That does not equate to reality.

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  • My boyfriend said he loved me before I was ready. I told him I wasn't ready to say it yet. He was understanding and waited until I wanted to say it back.

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    • What if your boyfriend never said he loved you but he'd kiss your forehead, smile at you, and make you homemade gifts?

    • @Dog19 it sounds like he may, he just may not be able to say it yet!

    • I think this is the best way to handle it. Be honest not misleading.

  • be honest and tell them how you really feel! lying and saying i love you too is just going to hurt them later on, don't be an ass..

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  • "That's sweet, thank you"--honestly no matter what you say if it's not "I love you" it's going to be uncomfortable, but better to be honest

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  • Thanks

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  • Scenario

    Person: I love you *looks at you sincerely*
    You: Um... I don't know what to say *pauses when person has a christfallen expression.*
    You: I'm not there yet and I don't think I ever will be. At least with you.

    Something like that

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  • Just kiss them

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  • I think you should be honest and tell that someone you're not ready to say it yet. Some people take longer than others to reach that phase in a relationship

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  • "Haha thanks"

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  • Awwww

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  • thanks but i sont feel the same so WALK THE PLANK OF LOVE MATEY AND INTO THE ENDLESS SEA OF JUST FRIENDS!! Or something. I would probably say something really awkward and try to laugh it off or something =)

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  • Nothing

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  • i say "thank u" or "okay"

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  • "I care about you."

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  • I would just say "thank you'

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  • "Thanks"

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  • It was the other way around for me... be honest

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  • "Why"

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  • it really depends on who it is and whether they told me this in person or in a message.

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  • I say thank you.

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  • I'd probably be like "whyπŸ˜‚"

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  • Im Sorry, but you will find someone soon.πŸ˜€

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  • Say thakyou and act as if it was nothing and leave the placeπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  • In such a case I said thank you

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  • I say nothing. But if I like his penis at least, I will say love you too, but he doesn't know I am talking to his pants.

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What Guys Said 17

  • I'm honest and don't say it to someone I don't love. My ex wrote and said "I love you" all the time.

    My ex: I love you!
    Me: Thanks you.
    My ex: ...
    My ex: What do you think about me?
    Me: You are good looking and seems interesting, but we've recently met. So yeah, you seems like an interesting person and therefor we became together.

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  • I love me too

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  • you should be funny about it so they don't know..
    say something along the lives of "Aww, thats so sweet. I love me too"

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  • I know everyone loves me.

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  • "I know you do"

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  • Thank you

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  • "I know." - Han Solo

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  • thanks

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  • I've been known to say something like
    "Wow, thanks."

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  • be honest but friendly

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  • But I don't love you

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  • Thank you

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  • just say I have not developed feelings that way for you

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  • i don't love you

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  • I'd just say "thanks"

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  • hmmm... it's awkward if it's not true but I think you should just be honest

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  • "awwwww I love me too"

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