Why would someone say they love you but then take it back?

Question

My boyfriend told me he loved me and I told him that I loved him back. A week later we saw each other again and when I told him I loved him he said thanks and didn't say anything else. I thought it was strange and didn't know why he didn't say it back this time.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

It is very strange and I think that the conversation needs to be had, tell him you need to talk to him about something serious and you need him to be perfectly honest with you even if the truth hurts it’s better to know then not know.

Ask him why he didn’t say “I love you” back and listen to him. You have to be able to communicate as well as tell him how you’re feeling about the whole situation. Be respectful don’t try to instigate a argument it shouldn’t be that. It should be a honest conversation.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

What @summeroflove said. You are thinking about this without elements to think reasonably.  Go find these elements, talk with your guy !

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating the rollercoaster of love, aren't we? When someone plays the love-you, love-you-not game, it’s like a plot twist in your favorite rom-com, but without the popcorn and comfy couch. Chances are, they might be wrestling with their own feelings, fearing the depth of their emotions, or maybe they got cold feet after saying those three magic words. Love is a big deal, and saying "I love you" carries a weight that sometimes scares people, especially if they're not sure how deep their feelings go or worry about the vulnerability it brings. My advice? Open up a heart-to-heart conversation. Dive into it with the same enthusiasm as you'd have while jumping into a pool on a hot day. It's all about clarity, understanding, and ensuring your feelings are on the same playlist, if you catch my drift. Love can be tricky, but communication? That's the bridge to clarity.

TheRealPepperPotts · Answer

Just ask him. Say, "Hey, I said I love you, and when you didn't respond, I wasn't sure what to think. If we need to back up a little, I want you to know that's OK. I just want to make sure we are on the same page". Sometimes people are impulsive, and then they get to thinking and then they aren't sure what to do and then it's awkward... Just clarify and back up a little. He might just love you for it... :)

I don't know what your relationship is, but maybe he's feeling suffocated if you are always texting him. Make sure you have plenty of things you do independently and stay positive. You'll both be happier for it, and if there is a breakup down the road, you won't be quite as invested. If there isn't, you'll have practiced how to respond appropriately when there's a snag.

Sonorous · Answer

girl I don't know ya mans

WendyJoel22 · Answer

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imtiaz45 · Answer

When someone says they love you but then takes it back, it could be due to confusion about their feelings, fear of commitment, or a realization that they spoke too soon. They might have felt overwhelmed by emotions in the moment but later doubted whether they were truly ready for that level of commitment. It could also stem from external pressures or unresolved personal issues. In some cases, they may have said it without fully understanding the weight of the words. This can be hurtful and confusing, but it often reflects their internal uncertainty rather than a lack of care.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

He doesn't love you. If he did he would see you more often not once a week that isn't enough. And he would always tell you I love you. I am not being a Karen here. I am speak for experience. I was your age once and I love. I will put the guys real name out here I can care less Jestin Clark date of birth 02/15/1994 when I said to him I love you he said me too. I worked out I was skinny in great body shape. I got my hair done. I got other men's attention except not from Jessy he didn't care. No matter how good looking I was Jessy still broke up with me and he left me. UNFORGETTABLE ACT HE DID. I cry for him. Now I am an older woman I have realized and learn No matter how beautiful you are. How great body shape you are when a men doesn't love you. He doesn't love you.

blueonblack22 · Answer

As a man when I say “I love you” it’s more then a “feeling”. It’s a pledge of loyalty.

That’s not to say my feeling might not change later. Not to say I my feelings might not change later. But I will remember I said that. That’s why I very rarely say it to women. Because it goes deeper then just a feeling. And if things go south as man I have much further to fall.

Women generally say “I love you” to express a feeling they have in the moment. If they fall out of love later then what then their past feelings mean nothing. Their “emotion” is “their truth”. I’ve had to learn the hard way on this more then once when I was younger and had women I dated say “I love you”. Sure they felt that way but only in that exact moment.

Now there are exceptions both ways on this. But there is a good reason most men are hesitant to say “I love you”.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

How experienced was he? First encounters are overwhelming. When he heard " I Love You" from you the return statement from him was autonomic. His head was spinning. It is a little more challenging to make that statement when things cool down. You need to talk.

Anonymous · Answer

This reminds me of the "big bang theory" season 3 episode 19. Leonard tells Penny he loves her after an intimate moment and she says "thank you, good night". After it. And she loves Leonard she just can't bring herself to say it. Eventually she does, by accident😆 3 seasons later. Which is the point. It's how she felt for some time but she was afraid that is might alter the relationship.

Obviously this is exactly your situation. But the point I'm making is we don't get to decide when people tell us they love us. If it really does bother you then say something. I wouldn't hit the panick button just yet though. Might want to look for signs if he's pulling away though. Because I love you is kind of a reflex action. If someone loves you and you love them back why wouldn't you just say it unless there was a reason not to.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

I wouldn't dump him or anything based on this alone, but it does seem like strange behavior.

My guesses would be either he feels ambivalent about his love for you or he was just having a bad day.

Either way, neutral to negative leaning.

RingOfFire · Answer

Probaby because he never loved you in the first place. He may have said it just because he felt pressure to say it. Or, more likely, at your age, he has no idea what love really is and is confused about what he feels.

Either way it hurts. But proceed carefully. Don't judge love by words, judge it by actions. And don't give your love away easily because that's how we get hurt.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Some people say it in the moment out of lust or manipulation tactic (to take advantage). And others say it and possibly mean it but also easily fall out of love if you’ve crossed a boundary

Juxtapose · Answer

Dude some people are fucking.. ugh! They don't realize that they are supposed to say it back if they actually give a shit about you. Shit pisses me off but people are raised how they are so.. have some patience I guess

MyBrainsInsaneReign · Answer

Maybe he's never been in a relationship where "love" was on the table before and it's making him uncomfortable.

Or maybe he said he loved you because he thought that would lead to sex, but it didn't, and now he's not sure how to handle it.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Most people cannot even give a decent definition of the term "love." If to them it is the "feelings" then of course those come and go.

quickquesocheese · Answer

He didn't take it back, he just didn't respond.

LadyKitty · Answer

Perhaps it was too soon for him? It depends on how long you have been together or how serious it is.

GlitteringWorld · Answer

Wow what a strange behaviour. It may seem unusual, but my advice is to stop considering him as your boyfriend from now on.

noohair · Answer

I do not see this as taking anything back. He did not say, I don't love you. I understand your feelings. You might want to discuss this to see if you are both on the same page. Good luck.

Dargil · Answer

Keep or ghost him based on how he treats you. Words are often empty.

Huntingnfishin · Answer

Sounds to me like you just got a new traumatizing memory! Sorry but that's his high school way of telling you it's over

luvstoned4him · Answer

They were only pretending and never really loved you

midnightmoon05 · Answer

What about his actions? How does he treat you?

rienna888 · Answer

Could be he wants to have the upper hand, so you’re not sure how he feels

rosemilk · Answer

that's so weird and definitely something you need to talk to him about

Anonymous · Answer

Could your boyfriend be a shy person? I'm also a shy guy and I'm hesitant to open up to the girls I like. That's why I've never had a girlfriend until now.

Oncewildtwiceburned · Answer

Because they’re young, dumb and full of dreams of becoming a League of legends superstar

Maybeyoutoo · Answer

Because the man has found more beautiful women to sleep with, just maybe

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

GUYS ARE DICKS... DON'T READ TO MUCH INTO IT.

Jpie555 · Answer

Not good…, u need to figure it out… sounds like something has changed with him

MicahRaine · Answer

That's. . . strange. Maybe he misheard you?

Iron_Man · Answer

Anger and not reciprocating saying it back

morganherrel · Answer

He's just not that into you.

EnjoytheDay777 · Answer

Because they're not serious.

Crazzyyworld · Answer

because they are HIGH

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

They wanted t' keep it behind your back''.

Anonymous · Answer

He's cheating

Why would someone say they love you but then take it back?

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Why would someone say they love you but then take it back?

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