Do you think it's rude to just disappear without warning in the middle of a text conversation?

Question

I don't mean just occasionally texting each other now and again, but you are texting each other at a fairly brisk pace as if it were a real conversation and is even engaging. Would you find it rude if in the middle of said engaging conversation the other person just stops texting back without warning? They didn't even offer a 'hey sorry I gotta go right now' just nothing.

dragonfly6516 · Accepted Answer

Its because we grew up in that gap generation between smart tech and social media being mainstream in every home, and a time when people still actually conversed face-to-face most often. Our modes of communication were either instantaneous, or took weeks to get a reply (actual physical posted mail), but we were still young enough to pick up and learn smart tech effectively.

Smart tech is in and if itself, its own culture with its own language, and you have to know another language to use it; that's why it's so much more difficult for adults to pick it up. Because it's more difficult to learn new languages as you age.

With smart tech now being literally everywhere, its fast becoming the native language of our entire species. You don't need to learn another land's native tongue if you've got Google to do it for you! That's the mentality of our world now. Let the tech do it all for you.

I usually tell them when I have to go, if the pace is "real time", if I'm not just checking once in a while between other things. But I've found that any conversation happening with a screen in between isn't regarded the same as with a live face.

Its not treated as "real" unless there's an intimate emotional investment on at least one side of the relationship between the two communicating. Besides, most people would still choose to meet in person and be face-to-face if they actually give two fucks about you.

But at the same time, texting isn't designed to be intimate and personal, so I try to keep that in mind as well, and it really helps me to not take it personally.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

No. I don't get so emotionally attached to something so trivial as this. Sometimes things just happen. If you have an issue with it, personally talk to the person and let them know that this bothers you. Otherwise, people naturally assume you don't have an issue. It's rude to some people, and it's not rude for others. Only you know how your actions affect other people.

aicarg · Accepted Answer

When briskly texting back and forth, the only reason I would dissaper without notice is if an incoming call were to come in - I'd quickly take it as that's an automatic reflex to answer quickly. I always message the person back after to say sorry and explain what made me suddenly disappear.

AllThatSweetJazz · Accepted Answer

Not quite. Active text conversations can be engaging but I think that's misleading in a way. I think every text conversation should assume every text could be the last until they see it again or have something to say. It happens on a per message basis. I think of every text conversation as a casual sort of one like texting something every 5-10 minutes, no big deal. You should carry the same idea that they might just not text back for a while or not until the next day. Just accept that possibility, makes more sense. It not like talking in person where you're in a situation with them and you usually have to respond or end the conversation. If you want to have an engaging conversation with someone talk on the phone. If you're going to have an anywhere near lengthy conversation just bloody call them, why must we text novels at each other?

GoodManDave · Accepted Answer

Yes, but not always intentional.

I try not to take offense, and try to assume something came up that needed her attention at the moment. I had a woman apologize for doing it recently, which I thought was great that she at least had enough respect to do that. I don't get that kind of thing from girls very often, so an apology is rare, and I respect it.

If they make a habit of ignoring my texts, I usually scale way back pretty quickly.

I figure that effort indicates interest. And if she's not bothering to answer for days, then it's time to back off.

Personally, if something happened like that, where I did that, I'd try to say something (hey, gotta go), but if it was an absolute emergency, or a huge sudden glitch... I'd probably try to explain later if I think they were offended.

Fitness-Fanatic · Answer

I think every does that at times. It's inevitable really, but if someone persistently stops texting in the middle of a convo it is rude and ignorant.

splashofyellow · Answer

I do that all the time. 😅 It can be irritating but I don't think it's rude.

I don't ever expect an immediate answer and I don't think the person on the other side has to give me a reason why they can't answer right that minute. They'll answer when they can. Even if the conversation was fast paced before.

Izumiblu · Answer

I prioritize my communications like this:

1) f2f
2) phone conversation
3) text/Skype
4) social messaging services/email

Which means I personally don’t seem messaging as a conversation so much as a non linear discussion. I may drop off randomly, I may miss bits of discussion and change subjects. I don’t even think about it when other people do the same.

PunkinPie · Answer

The whole point of texting is that it's convenient and squeezed in between other stuff like working, running errands, appointments, etc. So no, I don't expect all the niceties. In fact I habe one friend who annoys me with long explanations of how she loved talking to me but has to go do X now and will talk to me later, as if we were talking on the phone.

EvilAngel114 · Answer

It used to annoy me but over the years it doesn’t anymore. People have lives and I get that. People may be at work or fall asleep or stuff comes up. That’s a part of life. You really have no idea what’s going on on the other side of the text. I don’t get mad. Just pick up the convo next time or don’t. Life goes on.

MarianneF · Answer

I would, and usually disappear when I am at work or at home (family first). Usually I come back with an explanation, but most of the times I am doing it with a friend that already knows me, so as it is, we just either pick up where we left or just start something else. Not a big deal.

LydiaRose1110 · Answer

It depends. I mean how serious was the topic and did you return? I mean it also depends on the person your talking to. Are they sensitive? Do they get turned off quickly? I know I do! Personally I would be hurt. But I'm getting used to it. My boyfriend does it🤷🤷 so I mean I'm still with him aren't I?

MiamiMadness · Answer

Maybe something came up? People have things going on on the other side of that phone so we can't always hold people to those things. Getting mad about that and saying something to her is going to make you look clingy in my opinion

ManwithaConran · Answer

Depends, if you have to go to the loo then of course no problem. If you get called out on an emergency again no problem. And family have exemptions. I don't mind a conversation stopping and starting over a couple of days. And usually people around my age (42) have the manners to tell the other person "BRB got to... " so it's all fine. But I draw the line at 3 days or more of radio silence with no explanation.

USA1960 · Answer

I've had this happen a bit too often from a couple of women. When this happens, I delete their phone numbers out of my phone, including all our text. IF they make contact again, I'll explain how I feel about their actions. If she understands, good. If not, she can bugger off.

Chrysis · Answer

Nah, that's not rude. They're not obligated to answer. Plus RL is more important, so when something comes up, I might just disappear as well.

Luana1983 · Answer

It depends. Sometimes things come up out of knowhere, like an important phone call.

rjroy3 · Answer

Depends entirely on the nature and investment in the conversation and the reason for the disruption. In general, the room you're in should take precedence over a text message.

ZooeyWebster · Answer

Depends, something's might come up that need urgent attention

Mikayla3 · Answer

Yes, it is rude. Unless there was a good reason. Otherwise, just tell the person that you want to take later.

michael120240 · Answer

At least in my occupation things come up usually with little to no warning, though I try to ensure the people I talk to realize that, I can tell at times they get annoyed by it.

BCRanger10 · Answer

If you do it intentionally, then yes. However, things come up and you don't have the time to give that warning.

SelfIsolated17 · Answer

Unless it's an emergency, I would like someone to say that they have to go or something before hand so I know they aren't deliberately ignoring me or have to worry that something may have happened to them.

razor97 · Answer

it is rude. i would never do such thing. but i would tell that person to not worry, and i tell that person about the possibility of a electric power break or internet not functioning properly before of it to happen..

ThisDudeHere · Answer

Well technically it is rude, yes, but now wrong either as they owed you nothing.

Do you think it's rude to just disappear without warning in the middle of a text conversation?

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