What would you do if your boyfriend's house was filthy?

[Anonymous]

I really like him but he wants me to hang at his house all the time because my mom might be home. I'm 18 he's 24 and he has his own place but he doesn't clean it. I don't mean just disorganized- I could handle that. I mean dirty.. as in open food left out, so the couch now smells rotten, empty food containers left out so there are fruit flies, dirty dishes everywhere, food spills left on the floor for bugs.. It's gross. I can be messy but I don't do any of that and if someones coming over I clean my place. He always complains I don't sleep over, but it's just so gross. The last time I ate at his place I had food poisoning from this year old fruit juice. I asked him to throw it out and weeks later it's still there. He has the money for a house keeper so he said he might get one, weeks ago, but he jokingly says if it bothers me I can clean it. And when he’s not looking I do toss out his food and garbage but frankly I think he’s old enough to take care of it himself. I’ve already tried breaking up with him once but I missed him so much… I just wish he was more clean and hygienic. How do I get this to happen? I don’t want to be bitchy or mean but I can’t stand it. I've thought of saying if he wants to hang out he can come to my place, which will work for a while but I know he’ll complain and say I don’t like him or something.

[phil2]

I don't know. It's up to you to do it for him or not.

Like my guy is sort of messy but not as messy as your guy.

Like he some times does not take a shower or brush his teeth so I just demand him to do it.

I usually clean up the place every Sunday (broom, mop, wipe everything, laundry)

and some times he says he'll do it, he'll do it but he doesn't so I just end up doing. It's no big deal I guess since I love the guy but I do nag him to do it and say that it's because I care about him and want him to have a clean place and nice health. It's not a bad thing, and I"m not doing it because I think bad of him etc etc... know what I mean?

so it's up to you... hope this helps.

[Asker]

Well his place is disgusting.. and it's HIS place, I don't live there, so it's not like I have an obligation to clean it.

He's older, I feel he should be more mature, but he's always had everything fall in his lap, so I guess he's kind of lazy and doesn't care. But I'm sick of it and told him I'm not sleeping over because his place is gross. I volunteered to help him clean it and he said he'll take care of it but I'm sure he'll just hire someone...