Deal Breaker? You decide

[Thanatos]

Here's a question for everyone.

Let's say you have met a great person. They are nice, fun to be around, attractive, the chemistry is great. Then you find out they smoke/dip/snooze/chew tobacco. Deal breaker? Yes or no, and if you care to explain yourself, feel free to.

Personally it is one for me as I have a bit of a tobacco allergy, so it's kind of a moot point.

P.S. This isn't one of those situations ( for argument's sake) where you can get them to quit or rationalize their habit away. It's either you are fine with it or are not. They will not stop regardless of what you want.

It's fine with me

No deal

[Merope]

I've read some of the responses and I have to agree that smoking or doing any kind of tobacco product (or marijuana for that matter) is a huge deal breaker for me. There are plenty of studies of tobacco that it deteriorates your health and if your health deteriorates then so will your view of yourself and your mental capacities. Let me explain further that my grandfather smoked cigars, etc. and died of lung cancer. I saw pictures of him when he was younger and he was exceedingly handsome, however, after 2 or 3 years of smoking, his skin looked awful in pictures and it looked like he was 40 and not 25.

When you date someone you think about that one question which is: would you want to spend the rest of your life with that person? If the guy smokes I would say no to this question because the potential of him being chronically sick or dying before he is supposed to die is higher than someone who doesn't smoke. I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone who is healthy and active; not someone who has to be on tons of medicine and a ventilator. Also, think about this, if you truly love the girl would you let a plant product get in the way of spending as much time with her as possible?

[strbryshake]

Total deal breaker. I'm not fine with it. Smoke gives me an asthma attack, and there's nothing awesome about that. Plus, all their clothing stinks. And it's an addiction. In general, addiction is an unhealthy thing. Then again, I might be addicted to coffee, so I'm one to talk...

And as for other forms of tobacco, eww. Just disgusting. There's no way I'm kissing that mouth.

[crystalrain]

yes

[Undoubtable]

I can't agree with the habit one bit, so it's a dealbreaker for me.

[judithann]

I am a smoker I am adicted and I have been trying to quit for a while it is not as easy as you think to quit. Why is being a smoker a deal breaker? I think if you like her you should except for her good and bad habbits and not write her off so easily.

[Thanatos]

I never said it would be easy to quit smoking. I do have friends who smoke occasionally and have been trying to quit. As to why it's a deal breaker...if you read above I do have a smoke allergy...and her smoking will affect my health and that of any children we may have. That is something that I find unacceptable.

[caramelsugar]

I've dated 2 smokers and it's not a dealbreaker for me, but it is a major factor because I am highly sensitive to smoke--and of course why would I want to risk my own health. I would never get married to a guy who still smoked--he would have to quit--but it's not really a dealbreaker otherwise.

[jessica369]

Complete deal breaker. I can't even stand it when people smoke within two meters of me, it makes me feel sick.

[rory520]

I voted B because if they aren't willing to change that then that doesn't say much for the relationship. But I would be OK with it if they just didn't do it around me or if they did it just like once or twice a night.

[cristinaboss]

Never ever. I hooked up with a smoker once and I almost vomited. I hate smoker's breath... it's foul and I'd rather lick the floor of a public bathroom. And chewing tobacco is even worse.

[italy751]

if I really really like him- I'd deal.

but if I was on the fence whatsoever id ditch him- because that stuff grosses me out

[Thanatos]

So you find it disgusting, yet can be attracted to someone who has a (in your words) habit that grosses you out?

[italy751]

yes- if I liked his personality enough and already knew him well enough.

just met him? forget it.

[Thanatos]

So what you're saying is that you would have to like him and get to know him before you found out he smoked otherwise he would stand no chance, but once you liked him, the fact that he smoked wouldn't bother you? Isn't that a contradictory statement? By getting to know him you would find out he smoked, thereby eliminating him from the running unless you are trying to rationalize away intense chemistry or a lack of conviction.

[italy751]

but I would also get to know that we meshed well together, and made sense as a couple, and that would be more important to me that the dipping, etc. and hopefully if I told him I thought it was gross, he would like me enough to stop or at least slow down.

[madame_nicole]

Not a deal-breaker (even though I don't approve), I'd just make sure he knew there was no way in HELL he was kissing me with that mouth until -after- a good scrub with some mint toothpaste, especially with the dipping/chewing tobacco bit.

[Thanatos]

If that is the case, then what happens when it gets really serious? If you both want kids, marriage, the whole nine yards, what then? Do you make sure he breathes away from you while you're pregnant and after you have the kid?

[madame_nicole]

In a situation like that, then yes, he'll be smoking by his lonesome out on the back patio. As you mentioned, there's really no breaking someone of a habit like that unless THEY want to; I would just ask him to think of the health of his children, and inevitably of himself - does he want to live long enough to walk his daughter down the aisle? If it's a habit he can't break, he at least has to be sure not to jeopardize the health of his kids. If his kids aren't his priority, he isn't mine.

[Anonymous]

It's a dirty habit and I've had family members that smoked that had a lot of health problems and died from it. I also have family members that currently smoke and have a lot of health problems because of it. This is definitely a deal breaker for me.

[Anonymous]

deal breaker