Comment your BEST screwed up joke?

[YeetHaw]

Triggered people can just SKIDADDLE on outta here 🤠

[8guitargirl8]

A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”

I’m not racist by the way, most of my family are mexican and black. But I thought this joke was pretty funny 😆

[Dude_1820]

That. Is. Awesome 😂😂😂
Go see what I said lol

[YeetHaw]

Damn 😂😂😂 He shoulda said something like “sPaNk mE hArDeR dAdDy” jk. That woulda been weird lol

[Dude_1820]

Hahaha but that takes it to a whole nother 'screwed' up level that would be better

[Dude_1820]

I really should see a therapist 😂

[8guitargirl8]

@Dude_1820 😂 that school pick up line one was good.

@YeetHaw that could be at alternate ending of the joke lol

Here’s one more:

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist!

[Dude_1820]

😂 lol

[YeetHaw]

Man. I think we all need therapy.

[YeetHaw]

Or some crack 🤠

[YeetHaw]

. Jk.

[Dude_1820]

Hahaha probably. Group therapy

[8guitargirl8]

But if we got therapy, we would all end up being triggered and skidaddling and this question wouldn’t exist anymore haha

[Dude_1820]

Hahaha fair. Damn liberal snowflakes 😂😂😂

[8guitargirl8]

Man with all these comments and replies, there’s going to be so many banned users on this site 😂 good job @YeetHaw. You set the trap and we all just walked right on in lol

[YeetHaw]

Whoops 😂😂🤷🏽‍♀️

[Dude_1820]

Only thing the trap needed was chocolate

[Anonymous]

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they were too cheap to pay for a light bulb.

[YeetHaw]

Sad 😂😂😪

[Opinion Owner]

But you laughed right?

[YeetHaw]

I did that weird thing people do with their noses when they find something funny. Like, the air goes down the nostrils 😂😂 ‘Idk if I’m explaining this correctly.

[Opinion Owner]

Hahah I got you then!

[Dude_1820]

Oh God I got so many
Take your pick... Racism... Religion... Etc lol

[Dude_1820]

Triggered people 😂😂😂 I think the term you're looking for is snowflakes

[Dude_1820]

But here's a pick up line to warm things up

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside of you

[YeetHaw]

Oh no 😂😂 Never heard that one before 😂

[YeetHaw]

Gimme a racist one 🤠

[Dude_1820]

Lol
I'm stealing this one from Daniel Tosh, so credit to him ( if you like screwed up jokes, check him out)

So we all agree slavery is wrong right?

But black people could have easily escaped and revolted anytime they wanted to. So the fact that we managed to pull it off is kinda neat 😂😂😂

I've already said slavery is wrong, that's off the table haters lol

[YeetHaw]

😂😂💀

I’ll be sure to check him out !!

My favorite is “What’s the difference between a fridge and a kid? The fridge doesn’t scream when you stick your meat in it” - From my lovely friend who is now in jail 🤠

[Dude_1820]

That's awesome!!! Lol
Please tell me the last comment about who it's from is part of the joke

[Dude_1820]

Tell me what you think of Tosh!

[YeetHaw]

Will do.

And uh, yeah !! Let’s say it’s part of the joke lol

[Dude_1820]

Omg 😂😂😂😂

[Dude_1820]

Mark Normand also has some good dark ones

[Dude_1820]

Why are black people so fast?

[YeetHaw]

Why?

[Dude_1820]

Because all the slow ones are in jail

[Dude_1820]

What would be the first issue of a Christian gay porn movie? come here son, kneel before me

[YeetHaw]

Big oof😂😂 Especially the Christian one 💀 I’d die if something like that actually exists

[Dude_1820]

Lmao 😂😂😂 I told you I can go all day. I got so many

[YeetHaw]

That’s what she said !! Or he. I’m not judgmental 🤠😂

[YeetHaw]

Oh wait, I think I messed up. Whoops

[Dude_1820]

Hahaha definitely she in my case.
Although I have a gay co-worker and made a joke about gayness to him. He died laughing

[YeetHaw]

Oh jeez 😂

[Dude_1820]

Hahaha there were this two hot girls I helped and he was nearby. After I asked if he saw them and he said no, then I was like oh NVM you're not into that anyways. he died laughing

[Dude_1820]

I should probably see a therapist 😂

[YeetHaw]

Probably 😂😂

[Dude_1820]

😂😂😂 hmu if you want more jokes lol

[YeetHaw]

Lol will do 👌🏽

[Dude_1820]

Thanks!
Did you check out Daniel Tosh yet?

[FunkyMonkee]

Why can't little girls fart?
They don't get assholes `til they're married.

Why do girls have legs?
If they didn't they'd leave snail trails everywhere they went.

What's the difference between a man and a bag of jelly beans?
Jelly beans come in colors. (That one works better spoken.)

What goes 20 MPH and says, "Hodeedo! Hodeedo!"?
A black man trying to catch an elevator.

How does a Polack know which way to put on his underwear?
Yellow in the front; brown in the back.

What's the difference between a washing machine and a woman?
The washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load into it.

These two fags were fucking in the shower when the phone rang. The one guy said, "I'll get it! I'll get it!! I'll be back in just 5:00 but you gotta promise me you WON'T cum until I get back!!" The other guy said, "Okay, I promise.", so the first guy pranced off and took the phone call. A few minutes later he came back to get into the shower only to find the ENTIRE SHOWER GLISTENING with fresh cum!! Sad & distraught, he said, "You PROMISED me you weren't going to cum until I got back!!" The other guy said, "I didn't cum, I farted."

[YeetHaw]

Yessss !! 😂😂👏🏽

[FunkyMonkee]

A guy goes to see his barber and the barber says, "You did 69 with your wife before you came here, didn't you?" The guys says, "Yeah, how did you know? Does my breath stink?" The barber says, "No." "Is there a hair stuck between my teeth?" "No. You got shit on your nose!"

A guy buys a house out in the country and his new neighbor comes over to greet him and says, "Howdy, neighbor! Why don't come over to my place later tonight for a party, there's gonna be lots of eatin' and drinkin' and fightin' and fuckin'!" The other guy says. "Sounds good! I'll be there! What should I wear?" The hillbilly says, "It don't much matter it's just gonna be me and you!"

You know the definition of safe sex in West Virginia? That's when they brand the sheep that kick.

How is a pizza delivery guy like a gynecologist? They can smell it, but they can't eat it!

A guy stands up in a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!!" Another guy says, "I resent that!!!" The first guy says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" The 2nd guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"

You know what those little bumps are around a girl's nipples? That braille for: "Lick here!"

A mother walks into her daughter's bedroom and sees her using a vibrator on herself and says, "Honey, what are you doing?" "Mom, I'm 40 years old, I'll never get married, this is my husband." Next day, her dad walks in and sees her going it and says, "What are you doing?" She says, "Dad, I'm 40 years old, I'll never get married, this is my husband."
The next day the mom & daughter are out shopping and they come home to find the dad naked in the kitchen with a martini in his hand and the vibrator buzzing away up his ass. The mother says, "What are you doing?" He says, "I'm just having a drink with my new son-in-law!"

[FunkyMonkee]

A lady walks into a sex shop and asks, "Where are all the dildos?" The guy behind counter says, "They're on the wall, lady." She looks around and says, "I'll have the red one!" The guy says, "No, lady, the dildos are on the wall NEXT to the fire extinguisher!"

[YeetHaw]

Yuck 😂😂 The barber one 💀

Also like the pizza one and the hillbilly one lol

[FunkyMonkee]

A guy walks into a whore house and goes up to see one of the girls, whips out his dick and it's a 2 foot long dick!! She says, "You're not putting that in me!! I'll kiss it!" He says, "Bullshit!! I can do THAT myself!!"

[Phoenix98]

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

Why can't orphans play baseball?
They dont know where home is.

Why was six afraid of seven?
seven was black.

My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex
Just this morning she asked me "Is that the best you can do?"

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving?
The cop.

Girls are like blackjack...
I'm always going for 21 but I always end up hitting on 14

[YeetHaw]

😂😂 One of my favorite comments now 💀 Never heard of these ones

[Phoenix98]

Haha glad to help.

[HotJealousy]

RACIST JOKE AHEAD: There was a blackout last night... but don't worry, I got them

My dick was in the Guinness Book of World Records once. But it really pissed off the librarian and she kicked me out.

[Dude_1820]

I love both of those

[YeetHaw]

That second one tho 💀😂

[Dude_1820]

Nah the first one is better

[HotJealousy]

Having spent my fair share of time in English pubs I have many racist jokes in my arsenal that I typically bring out when I'm drunk 😂

[ScholaryTeen]

Oh boy, I've got a lot of them. Do you have a favorite topic to narrow it down?

[YeetHaw]

Sexist or racist jokes are pretty funny 😂

[Dude_1820]

I second that!

[ScholaryTeen]

How do you starve a black man?

-Hide his food stamps in his work boots!

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

-Trick question, the cops would just shoot the room for being black.

I actually find racist jokes terribly offensive.
I actually have a black man on my family tree.
You should look him up, he's still hangin' there!

[YeetHaw]

Oh no 😂😂😂 The last twoooo

[ScholaryTeen]

Why do jews have such large noses?

air is free!

how many jews can fit in a Lincoln Towncar?

17.
2 in the front, three in the back, and a dozen in the ash trays.

What is the difference between a snow tire and a black man?

Snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it!

Why do black people only have nightmares?

The last one who Had A Dream got shot.

[AaronKrieger]

How long does it take a black person to take a shit? Nine months.

[YeetHaw]

Jeez 😂😂😂

[dublin_sexyeyes0]

What did the religious fundamentalist father ask his son?

What do you want to be when you blow up?

[YeetHaw]

Thas a BIG oof 😂😂

[dublin_sexyeyes0]

Lol or two religious fundamentalist women shopping... one says, "does my bomb look big in this?" Lol

[YeetHaw]

And one of them replies “It looks bomb asf girl”

[dublin_sexyeyes0]

Lmao 😄

[dublin_sexyeyes0]

What do you call a baby on a skewer? A kebabby.

What do you say to a baby crying on a skewer? Shush kebabby.

What you call a baby on a skewer with no heart or lungs or liver? A doner kebabby.

😁

[blondfrog]

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? Because it said concentrate. That was my go to joke in school lol.

[YeetHaw]

Oh god 😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️ Imma use this one

[blondfrog]

It was an old one on the internet lol then the joke got old and died but go ahead :).

[YeetHaw]

Thas alright !! Imma still tell it. Even if all I get are forced laughs and eye rolls 🤠

[codycccccccccc]

Why do some people where turbains and other have dots on their forehead

[YeetHaw]

Why?

[codycccccccccc]

Ones a push start and the others a pull start

[YeetHaw]

OOF 😂😂

[codycccccccccc]

What do you call a black guy flying a plane

[YeetHaw]

Hmm, what?

[codycccccccccc]

A pilot you fucking racist

[YeetHaw]

😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️

[NovissimumVirorum]

Why are Japanese pilots the easiest to train? Because you don't need to teach them how to land

[YeetHaw]

OOF 💀😂

[ImpressiveUsername]

Nope, I don't feel like getting banned.

[YeetHaw]

That’s ok 🤠

[Dude_1820]

Lol guess we're getting banned @8guitargirl8 and @YeetHaw 😂

[YeetHaw]

Imma be big sad if we do

[ImpressiveUsername]

@Dude_1820 I've already recieved one 24 hour ban for a joke, I'm not tempting fate. 😂

[Dude_1820]

Lmao

[Dude_1820]

Dude now I have to know what the joke was

[ImpressiveUsername]

Currently on a 1 month ban from Facebook...

[Dude_1820]

PM it to me 😂😂
I'll follow you so you can

[Dude_1820]

Oh I thought you got a ban on here

[ImpressiveUsername]

@Dude_1820 oh it was the "Navy SEAL" copypasta meme, you can find it on Google. I used it as a reply to some troll, in an obvious joke. However the censorship here is unreliable, and doesn't understand context, so I'm just giving it a wide birth.

The Facebook ban was for a meme that was sexist at best, but I was banned for "Hate Speech."

[Dude_1820]

Hahaha gotta love snowflakes.

[ImpressiveUsername]

@Dude_1820 people can be absolutely ridiculous.

[Dude_1820]

Precisely why I keep up with politics... It gets me some daily laughs

[8guitargirl8]

Well if I get banned, it was worth it to make people laugh and plus they might be doing me a favor cause then I would have to go do something productive instead of ignoring what I need to do and being on here lol

My joke motto is “its only racist if it’s not funny” 😝