How about a joke?

Question

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged. Please tell us your best joke.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Three priests decide to take a vacation to the beach. When they arrived, they didn't want to look out of the ordinary, so they all bought colorful shorts and shirts and went out to sit in chairs on the beach.

All of a sudden, a gorgeous, topless blonde wearing a G string walks toward them. As she passed, she said "Hello father. Hello father. Hello father."

The priests were amazed and wondered how she knew they were priests.

The next day, they bought new beach attire and sun glasses.
As they sat on the beach, the same topless blonde walked by and said "Hello father. Hello father. Hello father" as she passed.

One of the priests couldn't stand it and said "Excuse me, young lady, but how can you tell we are priests?"

She turned and said with a bright smile "It's me, father, Sister Margaret."

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Q. Know what bigamy is? A. Sure. It's having one wife too many. Q. Know what monogamy is? A. Yeah. It's the same thing.

Cinematic Lily · Accepted Answer

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! 😄

WhiteSteve · Answer

A couple Irish guys sit next to each other in a bar, and they get to talking.

One says: “So where are ya from?” The other replies, “Well, I’m from Ireland!” The first says, “I knew it, I’d recognize that brogue anywhere, I knew you were a fellow countryman! Bartender! Pour us a round of Guinness in the name of our dear old homeland!”

They continue talking. “So where in Ireland are you from?” Well, I come from Dublin.” “GET OUT! I’m from Dublin as well! Bartender! Pour us a pint in honor of Dublin!”

They continue drinking and talking. “What part of Dublin did you grow up in?” “I grew up in the Southside, Sandymount!” “WHAT? I ALSO come from there! Bartender! A round for Sandymount on the Southside!”

”Where did you go to school?” “I went to St. Aloysius.” “NO! You must be pullin’ my leg! I went to St. Aloysius! Bartender! Pour us two more Guinnesses for old St. A’s!”

”Now what year did ya graduate?” “I was class of 1985!” “UN-BE-LIEVABLE!!! I graduated that same year me’self! Bartender! Keep them coming, for the Class of ‘85!”

Meanwhile, a patron at the other end of the bar has been watching all the hubbub these two are causing. The bartender comes over to get him a refill, and he says “Yo…. what’s all the commotion down there about?”

The bartender replies: “Oh, them? Don’t pay that any mind. The O’Malley twins are just drunk again…”

GoodManDave · Answer

These are a few of my favorites…
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A bear and rabbit were in the woods doing number 2 when the bear asks the rabbi:

“Hey, rabbit… does your… stuff… stick to your fur when you’re done?”

The rabbits answers 'no'… why?

Bear reaches down and grabs the rabbit and wipes his butt with him.

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“A panda walks into a cafe. He sits… and a few moments later, he orders a sandwich, from a waiter.

He gets the sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots into the waiter.

In the ensuing commotion, another waiter asks the panda "Why?" as the panda makes a quick break for the exit.

The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife annual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up, dummy!"

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

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How do you make a handkerchief dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic.

The nurse greeted them warmly and asked the priest, "What is your blood type, Father?"

The priest replied, "I am a type A."

Next, the nurse turned to the pastor and asked, "And you, Pastor, what is your blood type?"

The pastor responded, "I am a type B."

Finally, the nurse looked at the rabbit and asked, "What is your blood type?"

The rabbit replied, "I think I’m a type O."

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purplepoppy · Answer

"My child won't eat meat. What should I replace it with?"

"A dog, dogs love meat."

"I was at the gym and noticed a hole in my trainer big enough to get my finger in... anyway he's made a complaint and I'm now barred from the gym.

DonaldDarko · Answer

She danced, she lost her shoe, she eventually married a prince. The prince became king. Then he colonized various third world arias and made an absolute fortune. The third worlders ended up under his rule as usual. They were butthurt because their stone age ways couldn't compete and bitching about the gold fillings in their teeth, and which high dollar hand bag they wanted. If their cars broke down or their business did poorly or they crashed their new air plane, naturally it was the kings fault. Eventually the overthrew his rule with the help of his enemies. They then lived in the ruins of the former cities and forgot practically over night that any of it happened. Children looked at the ruins and wondered who built them. They played in old cars but had no idea how they worked. There's a joke here but it's on them and on the king for not using his head in the first place.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

At a custody hearing, the judge asked a little boy if he wanted to live with his father. No, said the child, my father beats me. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asked."No, she beats me," was the reply. Various aunts and uncles apparently also beat him , so the judge asked,"With whom do you want to live?" The Colorado Rockies" the lad answered."They don't beat anyone." (Though they did recently win three straight games to raise their horrid record to 12-50, by far MLB's worst mark).

Panthero80 · Answer

Three men were on a trip when their car broke down. They went to a farmhouse and the farmer said one could sleep in the barn with the cows, one with the pigs, and one with his 18 daughters. In the morning, the first man told his friends that he felt like a cow. The second man said he felt like a pig. The third man said he felt like a golf ball. Puzzled his two friends asked him to explain. He told them "You would feel like a golf ball too if you had been in 18 holes. Tada!

KostasKouvalis · Answer

I don't get it

Pregnant black woman goes to the clinic and gets an abortion

A week later she recieves a check in the mail for $1000

Confused, she calls the bank and asks who the check is from

They tell her, Crime Stoppers

Anonymous · Answer

A man walks into a bar and says, hey Joe how about fixing me up with some beer and whisky, my son just came home form college today and I found out he's gay

Joe says man that's terrible and fixes him up with the beer and whiskey

2 weeks later, the man comes into the bar again and says, hey Joe how about fixing me up with some beer and whiskey

Joe says whats whats a matter this time

The man says, well my other son just came home from college today and I found out he's gay

Joe says man that's terrible and fixes him up with the beer and whiskey

3 weeks later the man comes bursting into the bar and says hey Joe, I need every freaking thing you got

Joe says, well heck, doesn't anyone in your family like women

The man says, I just found out my wife does.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

A woman walks into a porn shop, goes up to the counter and says, "Where are the dildoes?"
The guy behind the counter points to them and says, "Over there, lady."
She goes over and a few minutes later comes back to him and says, "I'll have the red one!" He looks over and then tells her, "No, lady! The dildoes are on the wall NEXT TO the fire extinguisher!!"

NoDecision · Answer

Pictures are louder than words.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Why are men like popcorn? They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

exitseven · Answer

Q: What's blue and is faster than a speeding bullet? A: A Smurf in a blender.

Finchie40 · Answer

Why did Charlie Brown’s breath smell so good? He ate Peppermint Patty 😊

strateguy632 · Answer

Aww, you blew it, you shoulda asked, "when Cinderella 's sisters got rejected, what did they do"? That would be a cute double meaning with both meanings!

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

There are some good ones in the comments too.

Xawyx-2 · Answer

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field :P

WhitneySnow · Answer

The idea of Cinderella giving a bj is defo funny 😂

DJB72 · Answer

Three blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one would have seen it.

Massageman · Answer

What moves faster - heat or cold? Heat - because you can catch a cold.

lorenzomichael · Answer

Q. What has four eyes but cannot see? A. Mississippi.🤣

DrPepper12 · Answer

How do you keep a MAGA in suspense?

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Marriage.

Godihateyou · Answer

Feminism

Anonymous · Answer

hahaha :d

How about a joke?

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