Do you believe people can change if they love someone?

[Desconhecida]

[ColoradoKid]

I have tried to change to keep my girlfriend happy. I changed a few things I changed 80% of the stuff that she asked me to. The others I failed at. One was something that I have absolutely no control over. Chronic migraines I take a laundry list of medications for them. One happens to be a narcotic pain medication. She hated the fact that I was not getting better only worse. I didn't abuse them. But seeing as that she was anti narcotics she thought that I should be too. However when you are in chronic pain and nothing else works what are you supposed to do? The other is the fact that I love to wear heels. I have been to therapist and such to try to get away from them but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't do it. Its something that is hard wired into my head. She couldn't see the fact that I changed 80% of the stuff that she asked me to. I never asked her to change anything. So when she said good bye for the final time I couldn't believe it. She was being totally unreasonable. She tried to keep some of my heels and other shoes because we wore the same size. I told her no. I took them back I figured that if she is getting rid of me then my stuff goes too. She got upset because she loved the pair of heels that I loved. I have not seen any more like them. She returned them to me when I was at work. She told the cashier at the gas station that I worked at that she hoped that I would break my ankle in them and pretty much threw them across the counter at the female cashier. Of course they came out of the box. I got called into the office and my boss and the cashier told me what happened. They both then ask if they were mine. My boss loved them as did the cashier. But my boss wore the same size. I pulled my shoes off and put the heels on and walked perfectly. I then said there is no way I could sell them because they are one of a kind as far as I have found. They both thought it was cool that I am comfortable enough to wear heels. My doc says the same thing.

[ColoradoKid]

Thank you for the MHA.

[Kork7]

The only time someone can change is when they do it to align with their wants, needs and overall priorities.

If someone changes themselves for someone else it's like putting themselves in an alien environment. Yeah, they can get used to it over time somewhat but there will always be a part of their brain saying "I don't like this place, it doesn't feel right".

All it takes is a short period of concentrating on that feeling and the old behaviour will come crashing back, usually in a disastrous way.

When someone is changing themselves "for love" what usually is happening is they are changing themselves out of fear, fear of losing someone they may truly care about. This never solves the original issue and as soon as the fear subsides and things get comfortable again the urge to revert will reappear.

Priority and physical needs come into it too. Let's say I have a rare medical condition that gives me a stabbing feeling in my head if I don't eat cake every day, problem is the person I love *hates* me eating cake. If I stop eating cake for her the stabbing feeling won't go away and you can only ignore it for so long. Eventually I'm going to sneak off and eat some cake, for nothing more than my own personal, physical comfort. The only way I can truly change is if I find out why I need to eat cake to stop the stabbing feeling and what that feeling is doing there in the first place.

A stupid analogy, but hopefully it made some sense ;)

[MissDawn7961]

if you love or care about someone like your boyfriend / girlfriend then their must be some things you liked about them or you would not be dating them ! If there are things about each other that you do not like then go with the most important things first ! like if they smoke or drink then that is where you can start ! tell the one you love to stop the smoking for you do not want to kiss an ashtray tray smelling person or you are afraid they will die from lung cancer! if they drink then you do not want that for they could be drunk , propose to you which drunks are to drunk to be believed and marry too ! they can drink and drive and kill someone while under the influence ! So these are two bad habits that need to be broke for good ! Thanks

[Lily247]

I believe it, yeah.
My boyfriend says be nice even to those who might come off or are mean.
Negativety is a chain meaning if someone treats someone else negatively it can keep going until someone stops it by being kind and ignoring their mean remarks

it’s literally the grinch theme where people are men’s to someone so they’re cold and reality is that something came from somewhere which is people

he says it works. Customers that use to talk down on him are really nice to him now. I’ve done it a few times. A friend admitted to using me but after seeing persistent kindness from my siblings and I, she’s now trying to turn around

[Apple1996]

I think someone can change for love but they shouldn't feel forced to change, they need to make that decision for themselves

[JimmyQ]

God says that people cannot change. I believe God before anything that is just electricity and mud. Now, on the other hand, God also says that He can change people. Human strength is just an illusion. One day, and it may not come for a very long time, we all will face the Lord and give an account of ourselves. Only those ones who have trusted fully in Christ will have their sins forgiven. The rest, trust me when I say, you don't want to know what happens to the rest.

Human love is fleeting at best. It's a thrill ride that always ends in a crash. Don't put your faith in human love. God is Love and He is the only True Love.

[borderlinesucks]

Wow!
I read this

[B0CKSCAR]

I believe that people believe they can change. But I've only ever seen people change before they got with someone they really wanted to. If they hadn't changed enough though, even though they claimed they would or could change whatever the other wanted, usually they gradually returned you who they were before.
On the other hand, the few that changed enough, typically went on toget married and have kids. Although they usually have a weekend every now and again where they do some stupid stuff like they used to do (it doesn't mean they cheated, but some people do, others hang out with friends they don't talk to anymore, or do drugs, whatever they feel they can't do now that they're with the person they changed for.) It's always a fight if they get caught.

[DracoVenandi]

Well life isn't the movies. So that'd be a yes & a no. It depends on what you're asking them to change.

Asking a cheater to change, as example, to generalize you may have better luck climbing Mt Everest. Asking someone to change their smoking habits, as example, has more likeness than the 1st example.

Change isn't always easy & love won't change that. If anything love may serve as motivation to change but if someone doesn't wanna change it typically an't gonna happen.

[lightbulb27]

I think people can change when they want to change!

The other person is not relevant. Loving someone else... e. g. is a motivator. But I wonder if not changing... what it means. Do they still love them? I think so, it just means they aren't ready to face whatever change. There are manipulative, demanding people... sometimes it starts to feel bad to change because feel like they are messing with you.

p. s. those changes are emotional and sub conscious... not easy...

[cavmanier]

People do change. Nobody stays the same. Those around us definitely influence change. There's no way around that.

Maybe you meant do they change something specifically on purpose? That can't happen but often doesn't. Depends on what it is of course and it depends on if they want to change and how long they put in effort.

[Sensmind]

I suppose that anything is possible but my gut instinct is that they will return to the way they were - I think both sides would have to be majorly invested to be serious about this - I am talking about moving in together, starting a family time to give it your all.

[Heather_West]

I believe I heard something from a movie or what I don't know... It goes like this, "soulmate is someone who accepted u long before anyone else, someone who inspired u to live better, someone who would be with u no matter what u do and no matter where they are u would always love them."

[Kaneki05]

I can change a lot of myself i am adaptive. But i do have a set of strong opinions due to personailty disorder which these cannot be change or rarley are, like i believe all hypocrites should just be killed no one will change my mind on stuff like my thoughts like that. But if my girlfriend wants to be more clingy or less i can be. So yes and no

[ohshee]

Love is 1 of the greatest powers in the world I think anyone can do anything it all depends on how far a person is willing to go if someone wants something bad enough they can have it but but some where some how there will be a cost that's why so many can't or won't change because of the work or time they have to put in to it most are to lazy. Or it's just to hard for them so I believe people can change if them Love themselves first

[ankith10reddy]

Before falling in love, people work really hard to keep their possible partner interested in them. But one those magical words are exchanged then they won't start putting as much effort they used to, to impress each other, rather now they have different goals. Now their actions have impact on others. That shift in magnitude of showing interest from more to less, is what change means. So is it good? Well it is change means evolving. Now it's a different story starts, which involve both of you.

[suzysuzy]

No and you shouldn't. If you "love" someone you don't WANT them to change because then they wouldn't be the person you love anymore. If you want someone to change you're probably infatuated with certain aspects of them only, or their looks or both, but you don't actually love them.

[NYCstreetPhotog]

Yes and no. Change in an individual can only happen from within, in that way love for another won't inherently cause that change, but on the flipside, love for someone can be a great motivator, and with proper motivation anything is possible, even personal change.

[Passinggas]

Yes, being with the same woman day-to-day and/or having a kid have been proven to lower testosterone levels. And, I think the woman's testosterone levels increase as their authority grows. So thus, the inverted testosterone changes the dynamic mostly to failure.

[soleil2666]

Absolutely.
While the media generally teach women to be angry and aim to somehow feel complete being alone, it is very human to leave undefined space for that special someone who will complete you.
That, changing the habbits that aren't great anyway, is the primary reason we look for love - again, that someone special that will make it worthwhile, inspire you to be a better version of yourself - and sometimes, an entirely different one.

[stevenCccx55xxf]

I changed for a good girl who had become the love of my life. she didn't feel the same as I do. I lost her forever despite my efforts for changes...

So yeah, people can change if they love someone.

[blutwolfe]

Well technically only if they want to change and you can only change so much. You can't completely change a person to be something theyre not. However they'll make changes/adapt for you to better the relationship if they care.

[Mickey9999]

No. People don’t change. They become better or worse versions of themselves because they let you see their true selves when involved in a relationship or at least most do

[midnightmoon05]

Change is constant in or out of a relationship. When two can change positively for ea other, it’s healthier.

[webelong2yehovah]

"Love loves and people change." *Humbly* giving ourselves to true Love, both receiving and giving, restores humanity to our intended state.

twelvetribes dot org

[ArrowheadSW]

I think it depends on the situation. If someone thinks it is really necessary to change, and they take the steps to do it, then yes I think people can change.

[Jjpayne]

You can't change everything per say but it's very possible and there are many stories told about that including Johnny cash

[Porcelaine]

Only if they truly wanted to be a different person, they can't fake the change just to please someone, cause it won't last

[1stranger]

We should not expect a big change. But change happens, of course.
Love is like a magic touch.
You change but you don't notice.

[joethemoe912]

Depends on what about someone is changing. I'm not going to change what I like and what makes me me. Doing that makes a relationship with someone not genuine. You'll always feel out of place and not yourself which you should be.

[Daniela1982]

Nope, ain't gonna happen. After a person is set in their ways it is hard to change them.

[Gstacy703]

People don’t change so easily... they can always go back to their old habits when the person isn’t around

[CubsterShura]

Yes it can. I personally changes more by heartbreak than love though.

[SydneySentinel]

Certain things, yes. If they're a narcissist, then they're likely not going to change.

[pigoat]

People can't change

Because don't people's mind stop developing through a certain age

Once you reach that age you kinda are who you are

[aialex]

Change is a big word. in my opinion, they can be less of a prick towards the person they love.

[D3V1N]

No, people will only change if they want to do it for themselves. When you change for someone else you're more just repressing the behaviour that they don't like about you, and it will more than likely come back once they are gone...

[leahzrc]

loved changed me after I didn't love them anymore so yeah

[EmbraceThePain]

It’s possible, depends on the specific circumstance and persons involved.

[JustJen]

People can only change if they truly want to. Nobody else can make someone change.

[Insomnia72]

That depends on character. Only to a point. Depnds on what you want him to change.

[Cactusqueen]

It really needs to be self motivation and I’d not be overly confident in most cases

[I-C3_ME]

No, i believe people can change when the want it themselves. If u do if for love u can change true but to me it's 25 % more acting then real change

[BeardMagic]

Sure, we change every day a little by ourselves and by others, we learn and grow til the last day. Life is relationships and they all bring different sides of us

[Nic1330]

i completely believe this i lost the girl i love like 7 years ago and not a day goes by that i don't hate the fact that i wasn't better to her and told her how much I appreciate her

[AmourHoney]

I believe people can have two different personalities, whether or not they can change, I don't know.

[Manlyman1]

I have this girl stalking me for a year and I've seen her change more than most girlfriends, so I think it can.

[MannMitAntworten]

Maybe... Granted, it would be more likely that they want to change for themselves not for another's benefit. Not even for the love of another.

[Iuse2hands]

Yes. Some people do change. Whether it be habits, personality, hobbies, or friends. Better or worse a person can change for their love.

[goaded]

It's possible, but they shouldn't have to. Find someone you don't have to change.

[GeanieJ78]

Major changes or strides? No, but minor or feasible changes, yes.

[Kelbellh]

Absolutely not if it’s character/personality wise. That’s suck for life. But if it’s habits you could attempt. What I found is that you should get a guy whose a project because roles reversed they would never set out time to fix you

[Adamant4fun]

No, and they shouldn't have to providing that they are happy with who they are already. Change should be self driven, not a condition of love.

[backdoorman]

They can, but only if they want to. And it depends on what kind of changes you're talking about.

[colivares878]

I believe love can change a person but people don't change life changes people

[jessy00]

No ı don't think so , the child is father of the man but can't say for everyone

[KristaGrym]

Nah they let the other person manipulate them becasue they can get benefit of it

[bulletbob555]

Yes. On the other hand if they don't change it doesn't mean they don't love you not everyone can change

[Phrygian]

I would say a person can go back and again be him/her self if he/she loves someone? Mmmm... someone?))

[Shellyworld]

No, believe me they never change. Maybe in the beginning a little bit but after a month they turn to normal.

[Taurus90]

I am sorry for your situation i know it hurts a lot

[priyanshume22]

Yes absolutely... Love can bring the best out of the people... World is so beautiful if u have that most important person whim u love around you

[Calassic]

yeah, I myself I have changed ninety degree , i loved all the things she loves songs and colors... unfortunately she left me , so i hated all things that she likes.

[jaysfordaze420]

They shouldn't alter them selves to try and fit people

[motownplayer2000]

Yes, but old habits do creep back up. You both need to be vigilant of when it does.

[BrotherFrost]

Absolutely. I mean of corse they would have to die and be reincarnated as a bunny first. But yes, absolutely.