I feel so insecure how can I just stop trying to please everyone?

[Anonymous]

I know simple question like I can answer it myself right? No like i swear every guy that finds interest in me always finds someone better either it’s by style or because they are more flirty/fun very out going and like I just feel like shit. Everyone jus everyone always puts me down like I know I’m pretty May not be the prettiest but I’m average but they compare me to everyone and I try to change things for guys cuz of it. Like I never feel as if I’m enough and hate myself really.

Updates

+1 y

I’m sorry it’s just like even family members would tell me my sister would look better or she's so pretty. Honestly I just wanna hide myself like I don’t know if it’s cuz I’m too nice but I rlly don’t know how to raise my confidence

[ChrisMaster69]

There are a couple of ways, one of which is getting professional counselling, to go over it all, they can offer great insight to this type of thing.

try talking to people in shops, those that work there, clothes shops are good, you can ask if something is in your size.
even ask for an opinion if would suit you.

Gradually build up confidence in your self.

it also means you get to be more sociable and confident chatting to strangers and therefore easier with people you know.

the rest of it is down to how you perceive yourself, this is why building confidence in yourself is so important. start by making yourself feel confident by pretty much saying fuck you world and be your own person, consider what clothes, fashion you want, consider a new look.

Really just learn to love yourself, love how you are and be happy, it’s hard but you can build up confidence and be strong...

[Asker]

Yeah thank u a lot. I got rlly depressed and was gonna get a friend to buy me cigarettes are something to feel at ease (I don’t smoke cigarettes) but was considering. But yea I jus wish people wouldn’t be so dumb with their choice of words. Thank u tho. I’ll rlly listen and try to do what u said.

[ChrisMaster69]

I get depression, have since single figures and it is a total bitch how it fucks us over.

Talking things through with family, or non judgmental friends also helps, obviously if talking to friends you need to be careful,

[kkirk4442]

You will never be happy living for others. What I mean is, if you try to please everyone, you will wind up pleasing on one in the end. If you try to always please a particular person, the same will happen. Be yourself. Decide the kind of person you want to be, and work at it. Fake it 'til you make it. Imagine yourself being the doing what you want to be like, It's more effective if you envision what you want to be, as it helps guide you to that goal. Know that you can say no to people, that you have a right to your own opinion. You don't have to please everyone. Understand that you are good as anyone else, and no better than anyone else. If you live with integrity, with honesty, it will help you become the person you want to be. Do what is right, not what is easy. That will help you develop character, that will make you stronger.

[Ironic_Method]

No matter how great you are, there are always going to be people who put you down.

The important thing is that the only people that matter are the people that you choose for it to matter.

There are enough people in the world that you can be you and someone out there will love you all the more for it.

[Wiredone]

Stop trying to please everyone. You will never please everyone. The first thing you have to do is love yourself for who you are and how you look. Everyone has their own special qualities. When people start putting you down, stand up for yourself. Don't let them talk to you like that.

[Bean2thousand]

One of the breakthroughs in my life was just realizing that people are horrible. Seriously, once you realize how horrible people are, including the ones you somehow find yourself interested in, it makes you stop comparing yourself to them. Like... why? Why would you want to be like them? So, if you want to end up a lonely, antisocial person like me, take my advice, they're not even worth it.

[jahaims]

Stop adding value to an opinion with no value