How do I stop being insecure?

Question

Datboi65 · Accepted Answer

The minute you STOP looking for validation, and start on a journey. If you are self-motivated to improve, you have less time for crap. You will feel much better about yourself, and you will notice the difference just like others would too. It's a mental battle. Most of the time, others can really care less when you're all up in your mind thinking that people think of you as beneath them or whatever, but it's all in your head. You might be 5 pounds overweight, but people don't give a damn. The minute it gets noticeable, is the minute they will start judging. HOWEVER, if it makes you feel any better, you should not strive for mediocrity, but for success. So maybe 5 pounds isn't bad and people don't give a shit, but maybe you think that you can do better and you go on and you do something about it. That's the spirit. I'm using that as an example, but this applies to anything. Your grades are average? Doesn't mean you're stupid, just means you're not working hard enough. Wanna make more money? Put In the hours. Once you realize what your potential is, you can care less what others think, because you are on a MISSION. When you are on a mission, you are focused. When you are focused, you stay consistent. When you stay consistent, you see results. When you see results, you start to feel better. When you start to feel better, you are no longer insecure. That needs to come from within. Whatever it is, you are your biggest critic, so do something about. Nobody will motivate you or give you anything, you have to achieve it. Once you're there, it's a different feeling.

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

Chloe, this is a very good question.

Honestly, it primarily comes with time (maturing) and experience.

What are you insecure about?

Your looks? (I will assume so.)

We've been telling you for 3 or 4 years now that you have a wonderful body.
But we are just virtual people.
Surely, young men at college must be enticed by you.
Are you not noticing them and how they react to you?

Don't worry. They WILL notice you and then you will notice that in them. You will be asked out on dates and never be shy of male companionship if you wish.

Your real problem is that many young men are going to just want to have sex with you because of your body. Now, every young man will be enticed by it, so you need to find out which of them is actually interested in you or just your body.

Here's how you can tell:
The ones only interested in your body will be impatient. Once they begin to think "She's not going to put out", they quickly drift away from you. But, the ones who actually like you for being you - they will stay and, to them, having sex with you is just icing on the cake.

So, if you are insecure about your looks, you really have nothing to worry about and your experiences over the next couple of years will teach you that.

Are you insecure about something else? Schoolwork? Do you have tiger parents at home?

Let us know in an update what you are insecure about.

Good luck, young lady!

Buntyp · Accepted Answer

Physical exercise. Find a physical activity that works for you and just start doing it. Focus on that and not on whatever the reasons are that make you feel insecure. If you can't think of any activity that catches your interest, start running. Start with jogging, if you need to, but get it up to real road and track running.
The physical effect of that kind of cardio workout is that you will gain confidence as you gain in fitness. Your whole physical presence will become easy and light, as muscles you didn't even know that you had will also become invigorated. It will make your life better. Check it out.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I don’t believe confidence is based on beauty cause I know 200 and 250 pound woman who are confident and I know gorgeous girls with dozens of guys chasing them who are insecure about how they look, you look nice but you need to base your confidence more on spiritual or mental or practical things, and if you do that already, you need to do that even more, that is the only way to have complete confidence cause looks can only give you partial confidence.

ohshee · Answer

Omg you just did it. I have answered so many of your question . When you ask you one thing but you really want the answer to something else and now today you just did it by asking a true question on what it's really all about
So that means I have just watched you grow first of all look in the mirror and smile because you are very beautiful. second of all. Quit trying to make guys like you by the way you dress. That tells me you're not confident.
I guess I should have started this out by saying first of all be honest with yourself at all times
Love yourself for who you are love yourself enough that you don't try to make boys like you believe me every boy on this planet likes you okay put that into your art don't get over cocky with it be yourself if you want to wear something that not the newest thing or whatever it's just you and that's what you feel comfortable in to it you are you and only you and when you find that you inside of you that's when you will be so confident and so happy and guys will just follow you around like little puppy dogs one of these days I wish you would send me a message I would tell you a lot more things you have it all you just don't know it or are you not too much I don't know which one yet find that balance and you'll find yourself

Wraith_Cemetery · Answer

If you think posting half naked pictures online is going to stop making you feel insecure, then you're sorely mistaken. That will only feed into your insecurities even more. It's a known fact that women these days are more insecure and depressed than ever because they have millions of other women to compare themselves to online.

In previous generations, before social media, women compared themselves to family members or friends. Although that can be bad as well, it's no where near as excruciating as the current social media era.

Your self worth isn't determined by how other women look, your self worth isn't determined by your physical features. You can gain more by reaching wholistic goals such as bettering society, bettering yourself, getting out into society and doing something important.

loveslongnails · Answer

Insecure about exactly WHAT?
Maybe if you accomplished some things worth going after, instead of getting "likes" and compliments about your looks on social media, you'd feel better about yourself? Just a thought.

99% of the men on here tell you over and over - you're a good looking girl. But yet, you consistently ask to hear it again and again, always posting "how do I look"?

All insecurities, whatever they are, FEED on themselves, and you seem to keep feeding yours. If you want to stop "feeling" that way, you have to stop feeding them and alter how you think. You do that by "thinking" in the first place - and recognizing what you're afraid of, and realizing (through thinking and talking it through), that you've nothing to be fearful of. That's how you start. Seeing an expert to help you isn't a bad idea either.

OpenClose · Answer

I mean you can post a pic on here and then everyone can point out the obvious which is that you're gorgeous.

Problem is, you'll become dependent on external affirmation and will start freaking out if this affirmation ever starts decreasing. So you're going to want it to come from within.

That's about all I can say because beyond that, I'm still learning to do the same myself. Mostly learning new skills to help me feel self-sufficient and able.

Another thing you can do is sing. I had always wanted to sing but thought my voice was horrible on any recording. I just kinda started doing it anyway and once you get used to your own voice, it helps a lot. I posted the video on youtube and got a much better reaction than I could have anticipated. But then again, that's getting affirmation from an external source. So its affects are temporary.

Cycloteur · Answer

First you need to figure out what you want from life. Then where to find it and how to get it. Then you just need to do it, which is the hard part. Look around and see all the others around you who simply get what they want when on front of them. They look a lot loke you, so why shouldn't be able to do the same?
Then I promise if I ever see you or someone else hesitating getting whats in front of them to gently, but firmly, push you towards it and tell you that you deserve it. When you realise how easy it is I expect you to do the same whem you see someone hesitate achiving or getting something right in front of them.
This is easy, just do it and evolve.

humpbackjack · Answer

Everyone has things they’re insecure about and you just have to realize that nobody’s perfect and really anybody that looks down on someone or try’s to put someone down for these imperfections isn’t anybody you want around you anyways so who cares what they think. Majority of the people that act like that are the ones that have the biggest insecurities and if they were to get called out on theirs it would bring them to their knees. It’s difficult to give words of encouragement without knowing what you’re insecure about but usually nobody else even notices what you’re tripping on

jasco · Answer

Their is a true method to stop, because everyone is different. Confidence can come from several different places but the best place is from within. You need to accept yourself and realize that no amount of training or whatever is you do that keeps your body the way it is, will change how you are look at. At the end of the day, you are who you are. Your a human being and because of that you will always make mistakes, but accepting and reflecting on them is what makes us so great. Realize that your flawed and thats perfectly fine to be flawed. Whats wrong with being different? Accept yourself even if others do not but do not let that acceptance turn into toxicness because it can lead to bad things. Just love and accept yourself, because you can't go into a different body. your stuck in that meat sack till you die so yea

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

You can stop being insecure by knowing that your a beautiful Asian girl and there is nothing wrong with your face and body...

When you take photos in your room, sometimes you show too much skin, like in this photo and sometimes you show more and that's something that i don't like about you...

Showing cleavage amd appearing like that will only bring you people who will make you feel insecure or boost this insecure thought that you have, without mentioning all the thirsty sexual predators...

BrookJ2008 · Answer

I feel insecure too hun, about my weight, my mouth, my voice, my laugh, my eating habits, my relationship habits 😂

But overall i gotta remember to be confident in who i am as a person and remember that nobody asked for their opinions. Be yourself no matter what they think of you. Love you hun! Hope this makes you feel better about yourself!

ZackBan · Answer

Insecurity is part of what makes us who we are it's not something to stop. Without Insecurity you're airing on the side of being a psychopath.

What yoy need is self confidence in a sense that even your insecurities don't scare you and you can face the challenges that come with it

JDAC2209199 · Answer

I don't know if It'd help you but for me it was achieving a certain fitness level and then it was any progress I made in a completely alien hobby. I suppose to rap it up, I'd just say try new things that you've always wanted to do, you may not succeed at all of them but it'll be fun when you do and that might boost your self esteem.

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

For starters, stop trying to use your looks to fix the problem. That's clearly not what you're insecure about.

What you do is like me trying to "fix" my social insecurity by completing a DsR playthrough for the third time this week instead of getting off my ass and going to boxing practice.

See how that makes no fucking sense?

IceEmbers · Answer

Maybe by recognizing that your opinion on yourself matters more than others. Insecurities is usually generally by society or love ones and tends to be very inaccurate. Once you realize your worth in yourself, likely individuals will respect the worth of you. Suggestion only: But figure out what makes you love yourself, and then see what happens tommorow.

Leonharted · Answer

By accepting that you can only do your best. Be healthy, dress as well as you can, and be the best person as often as possible (and apologize when you fail to be your best). At that point, accept that you are doing the absolute best that you can, and that there's nothing more that you can do but what you are already doing.

JosyJosy · Answer

The answer

What could help greatly is... by NOT posting these pictures anymore.

As much as the horn dogs and other admirers may like them... don't do it. You'll depend on their feedback to feel good. And that's not healthy at all.

Buut that is up to you, if you want to work on the insecurity or not. You can keep posting... but that'd be like ignoring the problem.

fuZzypeach · Answer

Stop putting pictures like this of yourself on the internet. You are looking for reassurance from strangers. You will never feel good about sekf as long as you seek attention from others
Know your worth... find the thingsu think are amazing about you and bring them out. Fuck what others think... are u happy with who u are?
If u are the rest falls into place
I learned I was dope wheb I was young and I don't give a fuck who agrees. I rock... I love me... and thats really all that matters

Prof_Don · Answer

Everyone has insecurities about something.

Intentionally try to spot the insecurities that other people may have about themselves. The more you do this, the more you realize that everyone is insecure about something.

Therefore, you will realize that everyone is one a level playing field, and you won’t feel “below” anybody when it comes to self-esteem.

Makeushiver · Answer

I’m not sure how a woman as attractive as you could feel insecure. In any case forget about what you think people think about you. If you are independent from the judgement of other people you can’t be insecure. In the meantime, trust me, you are lovely, believe me.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Look in the mirror instead of your phone. If that doesn't work, nothing will.
I'd say make something of yourself acomplishment or talent wise, but you might already be doing that, and if that were the solution, you wouldn't be posting provocative selfies.

hellacray · Answer

Get off social media.

And know nobody really cares that much how you look. When you're walking around you may think everyone got their eyes on you but in reality everyone is minding their own business.

Also learn to not care. So someone thinks you're ugly so what? Do you believe it? Is it true? Does their opinion matter?

Anonymous · Answer

You're welcome. :D Will that be payed for with paypal or mastercard? I also accept doge or a large side of fries. :D

Subarugirl · Answer

Well to start with, by not seeking validation from strangers on the internet.  Then by having a heathy relationship with yourself.

Godsvengeance · Answer

The key is learning to realize that the opinions of other people are generally unimportant. Once you accept that, you will lose some of what generally causes insecurity (the feeling others are judging you, especially negatively). Remember, never take into account the opinion of someone you wouldn't ask for advice and odds are that's a pretty short list.

Thatasianlove16 · Answer

Doesn’t sound like insecurity it sounds like “pick me I need attention” which you could’ve gotten without your question

naraku · Answer

Slowly.

You have to build confidence with who you are and accept you're great.
Not everyone will think so, you'll always have negative moments. That's life.

But just find something about yourself to appreciate and build off that. Even if it's something small like loving your hair that's a start.

xJayleenx · Answer

It just takes time. I’m not entirely secure of myself I’m still a very shy girl but I’m a lot better than I used to be I used to ask how do I look everyday and take millions of selfies not because I thought I looked good but because I was convinced that I was ugly. I also think that socializing more helped me and distracted me.

IMuser · Answer

Accept it. Whatever you think your flaws are, accept them and improve what you can. It can act as a filter, to recognise who values you.
(This doesn't mean that you stop caring for yourself, just don't go overboard.)

Junior42 · Answer

to honestly jus stop caring thats what i just started doing. Easier said than done but i jus got broken up with and i just dont care anymore tbh I jus don't care anymore about what ever I was insecure about ima work on got to

H8INCHES · Answer

Obviously you've had some negative people in your life. When people like that cut you down it's because they feel so inferior to you.
All of us who follow you, think you are gorgeous.

Be careful that the guys you date are not part the problem. Date the ones you are genuinely interested in you. Not the ones that look at you as a conquest.

megabamse · Answer

Best way is exposure therapy. I bet your shy? So start taking more risk's. Like a theater group, karaoke, what ever it is that you have to do with other people. Start giving a shit about what people think and start enjoying life.

MCheetah · Answer

Find things to be proud of about yourself that involve more than just looks or outside validation, such as hobbies, skills, or personal accomplishments. FAR easier said than done, though.

jshm2 · Answer

You don't. It's a mental thing. You can be insecure or suffer imposter syndrome.  Everyone has insecurities, but you work on your strengths to ensure they outstrip your weaknesses.

D4nielv · Answer

It's a journey, but it's probably not one that relies on external validation by showing off your body on here.

RedWings19 · Answer

Okay.. are you purposely posting sexy pictures while ignoring me to make me realized that I messed up hahah

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

All depends on what you're insecure about. Generally speaking, first thing to do is to stop comparing to other people

acooke-13 · Answer

You are beautiful. Stop comparing yourself to fake, edited photos on the internet. I went to therapy and it helped a lot.

Throwdownxxx · Answer

If you are not already, start learning about and practicing mindfulness and meditation. Training your brain, yourself, is the best way to conquer that stuff. Check out the Waking Up app if you are new to meditation.

Ginchygoo · Answer

I would have to say date older men, way older. As a young attractive woman an older man would have a tendency to worship you physically and work hard to keep you happy. That would have to make you feel good, and should boost your confidence.

NH_Mob_Boss · Answer

Does someone that is really that insecure post a semi-revealing photo on a website such as this?

JaneDoe455320 · Answer

Do things that make you confident with you body. One thing I would recommend is sleeping naked. It is a know fact that people who sleep naked become more confident with themselves.

Anthontcillio · Answer

Oh lord I would love to get into your pants and make you feel good!!! Wow!!

AncientWisdom · Answer

The first step is to learn to love yourself. Then the rest will follow.

Aurellius · Answer

What exactly are you insecure about and how much text are you willing to read in an answer?

mattclark242 · Answer

try to love your self more and be more for giveingto your self and try not to think about other people think about you.

Anonymous · Answer

Well you start by not posting pics asking "how do I look" constantly. How bout taking a little value in yourself for something other than your looks for once.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

I say look at yourself in the mirror and say something positive about yourself. Each day you repeat what was said then add one more positive thing about yourself to it.

nawtee_me · Answer

The secret to beating insecurities is confidence in yourself. You are a beautiful woman with I am sure much to offer in both friendships and relationships.

pleasestopthis · Answer

Therapy. Posting thirst traps in here to get attention is only a temporary solution.

StrawberryShake · Answer

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought most insecure people didn't post photos of themselves all the time.

SAMI_DABBAB · Answer

Change your perception of things, and give things news positive labels, like changing what you feel from insecurity to uniqueness

Anonymous · Answer

My eyes rolled HARD at this. What are you insecure about? There’s literally nothing wrong with you and many women including myself would do anything to look like you. Just stop.

soe11 · Answer

Be positive and optimistic as well as productive and constructive. Avoid negative thoughts and be yourself.

athlete_for_lyf · Answer

Change ur reation to how others think. Plus what makes u feel like one i am pretty sure many women are jelous of ur looks and guys that stare at u all day.

Deserter · Answer

Read the subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson, also if attention is put on you then embrace that shit. You're already embarrassed so might as well instead of acting all timid.

TallAnon · Answer

Being insecure can only happen when comparing yourself with external influences. To become more secure you have to rely less on external things and instead be happy with internal accomplishments.

AydenHazor · Answer

I wish there were a magic fix we could give you, but ask we can do is encouraged you that you are beautiful and you have nothing to be insecure about

Gal67 · Answer

Someone who is insecure doesn't keep posting photos of herself where she is half-naked. Stop trolling us.

cookiecrusher · Answer

Nothing about your picture says insecure. Unless you plan on flashing the world and building up for that.

JohnQue74 · Answer

I view life as a Rollercoaster. While you're in it you have no option but to go for the ride. So I grit me teeth and just plow ahead and take life as it comes.

How do I stop being insecure?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How to stop being insecure in my relationship?

How do I stop being insecure?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How to stop being insecure in my relationship?

We're glad to see you liked this post.