What makes a man not trust a woman and how do you build trust, between you and that person again?

[Anonymous]

...

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

Trust is something that is earned. It is easy to earn someone's trust and damn near impossible to get it back once it has been broken. Trust is like a beautiful vase that is treated with large amounts of care. If somehow it gets broken into pieces then it changes. Sure maybe you can glue it back together but no matter how well the pieces fit back together it will never be the same. It will always be broken.

I am not saying that trust can't be earned back but it can never be fully recovered. If you cheat on someone and reconcile with that person. It may seem like that trust you fully but in hindsight anything that looks suspicious to them will bring back those feelings of insecurities when the trust got broken.

If you are dating someone that stole money from you when you weren't looking, you confronted them and they apologized and paid back all the money they stole. The next time you noticed money missing, would that not be your first thought is if they stole the money? You trusted them some for the corrective actions they took to try and earn their trust back but in reality it will always be there in the back of your mind every time something looked suspicious.

I trust people to a certain extent right out of the gate and it can be built upon to become stronger but if it ever gets broken then I may never trust them again. You have to be smart with trust, like you would never just give the keys to your car to a stranger that asked to borrow your car and fully expect them to bring it back. Would you trust a stranger if you have them your debit card and pin code? You should trust people but be smart about it and never be too trusting and letting your guard down.

[Asker]

And with my particular situation. There was some truth and lies between this guy and I. And I told me friend about what I wanted her to tell him. So when it got back to him. He pretty much said, how I lied to him in front of his face. How he doesn't trust me nor anything I say. But, he wasn't completely honest with me. And what him and I discussed with my friend it was completely different to what both of us said to each other. So how can he say he DON'T trust me. When he didn't keep it 100% with me.

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

Two wrongs don't make a right. What was the purpose of you telling your friend certain things to tell him? Secrets and lies between two people will never develop trust. Sounds like you two need to be straight and upfront with each other. If that doesn't work then this situation with you and him are never going to go anywhere.

[Asker]

We decided to leave matters alone. But... He is a stubborn person.. So it's whatever. 🤷

[HawkPerception]

I'm a pretty trusting guy. I don't check on your phone or ask where you are 24/7.

However, your partner shouldn't have to ask you to communicate with them. Trust is built by communication... when you're out, let your partner know where you are and who you're with. Whenever you change locations and who you're chilling with, update them. Do that consistently and they will eventually trust you blindly and will believe that they can look the other way and know you're not doing anything behind their back. This should just be a mutual understanding or obligation. Even if your partner doesn't mention it, they will definitely appreciate it tons.

But once you lose trust, it will NEVER be the same again, no matter how you try to change their perception of you. If you cheat, flirt with someone or they catch you doing anything that's considered disloyal, they will lose that unwavering trust in you.

Prove you're trustworthy by being consistent with your actions.

[Asker]

Facts!! 💯🤘

[loves2learn]

This is really situation dependent. But talking through the loss of trust. Coming up with a plan so it doesn’t happen again. Truly apologizing and forgiving. And maintaining open communication.

[Asker]

Well with my particular situation. There was some truth and lies between this guy and I. And I told me friend about what I wanted her to tell him. So when it got back to him. He pretty much said, how I lied to him in front of his face. How he doesn't trust me nor anything I say. But, he wasn't completely honest with me. And what him and I discussed with my friend it was completely different to what both of us said to each other. So how can he say he DON'T trust me. When he didn't keep it 100% with me. 😒🤕

[loves2learn]

Sounds like you both messed up. Best to both own your parts, apologize and forgive or you won’t be able to move on.

[Asker]

He's not willing to talk to me anymore. Only to hear the results to know if I am pregnant or NOT. And I still have him block. He blocked me first. So I involved my friend in the situation between him and I. And it was a lot that he was saying to her about me. But they both came to a mutual agreement and decided not to communicate, anymore on my behalf. And she said, when she called and text him. How she never got a response from him. Typically he responds back to her like crazy. But nothing! But him and I made it clear to each other that we wanted nothing to do with one another. But I'm sure, he had or did reach out to me. And that was the problem before he was telling my friend, how he wasn't interested in me, and had no intentions on with getting to know me. And how him and I wasn't on any type of level. There wasn't anything. And how he just wanted to be left alone. But the MF was still hitting me up on the low. And I don't know if it was because the simple fact that my friend, got involved. But he started to like either like both or her. He says if someone is interested in him he's interested in them too. If it's mutual then it's mutual. But he said if it's not then he's not. Oh wow! I mean that makes sense in ways. But I'm like you're telling me that you're going to be interested in every female you like or who you think who likes you. That's how he gets his feelings. Fucked up... Smh. But anyways when him and I talked it was different. He was acting as if he was interested in. I was never the one who gave him my number he did when he said he was going to leave me alone, but he reached out to me at times. And I was actually honest and open with him about how I was speaking with another person. Soo I don't know. But like you said a lot of miscommunication

[loves2learn]

Might be time to move on. I don’t think you are pregnant.

[Asker]

And my thing is. If he wanted to be left ALONE- then leave and don't Unblock Me I reach out. That's why I said, if I block him, then I know more then likely I won't unblock him. My goal is to not play this back-and-forth game. So I took honors in my hands to show him. But... Besides him and I being Arch enemies. We did there and then have some interesting fun times, with each other. But he told me and my friend! how I was giving him headaches. But yet, in person. He seem to be more chill and less talkative. But on the phone! He would run his mouth and hang up on my face and block me, when he didn't like what I was saying or just simply childish and couldn't comply to making changes. And he wonders why he tends to run people off, and have a small group of friends. I mean nothing is wrong with four friends. But frfr. If his goal is to meet more people than he has to present his self different I learn how to compromise and not make things all about him and come off being controlling. Sooo 🤷

[loves2learn]

Yup. Sounds like he has issues.

[Asker]

Yeah. It is. I just hate how things went down between him and I. Like he was growing on me a little. But it would make it seem like... That I was crazy... Smh. Like sorry... But grow up.. With your 6 inch dixk MF. Don't EVEN.. 😡

[Asker]

He do. Like frfr. And he knows that I was and I am a good person. I done nothing to him. :(.. Yeah I'm sorry if he felt that I pressured him into having sex with me. But @ the end of the day.. He was more then down with fucking.. And how are you going to tell my friend! that you don't like to he teased. So he's telling me, each and every girl comes his way. Trying to bone or comes off being flirtatious and touchy-feely. Your going to allow and let your guard down and fuck him. Like I said. He was telling me one thing in person but telling my friend shit differently. And he totally was acting weird and starting to catch feelings for my friend. But like she said to me low-key. I don't want him and I never did. I was only speaking to him on your behalf. And his energy started to shift. I don't blame my friend. But he shouldn't have been trying to talk to me on the low low then talk with her on a high note. And he didn't even know her that long but was so open I'm so interested in her. Like. Wtf

[loves2learn]

Sounds like a real mess. I hope you can dust your hands off and move on.

[Asker]

But he wasn't being completely honest with me or her or maybe just with me in some ways. But when I told my friend to tell him about how I wasn't really interested in him and some other stuff. That's when he was feeling some type of way and said how I lied to him in front of his face. Yeah I know, what I discussed with him and he knew that I wasn't telling the truth. But I'm not going to make myself look like a fool. And if he was so not interested in me. Then why would it matter, why are you even contacting me. Like a know a guy can sweet talk and be nice to a female and take no parts of being interested in her whatsoever. I get that. But I swear girl! he was coming off as the complete opposite to me. Even a psychic told me. How he's trying to fake and act as if he didn't care. When he do. She said, he's not crazy about you. But he most definitely is hiding how he feels Under The Rock. She's like.. it's almost like that he's somewhat embarrassed because of the difference between him and I. And how we can't relate. But she said, DON'T let him fool you. He knows what he is doing. She said, this guy he comes off expecting women to chase him. Smh

[loves2learn]

Sounds like he’s not worth your time

[Asker]

He's not. Smh! And for the simple fact that I was actually starting to like this jerk. Shame on ME! he knew I did.

[JackSmy]

I am one of the Trusting Types, and I assume that all people are good, until, sadly, some prove that they are unworthy of that trust.
I am NEVER going to invade her privacy, or look through her phone, EVER, as I think that in any relationship, trust, and honesty is MANDATORY.
I haven't had too many experiences, with someone I trusted, that would make my cynical or concerned. A little thing, here or there, but nothing major.

[exitseven]

Doing things behind your back, lying about your whereabouts and what you were doing are all things that cause distrust. I dated somebody like that and gave her a few passes on doing this. She stood me up on a date and actually called me while I was at her house waiting or her. She lied to me about where she was. She told me she was a still at work and that she had to cancel. She didn;t know that I stopped by where she worked to give her a ride home and she was not there. I never called her again after that. I was done.

[ohshee]

Well somewhere down the line you broke his Trust you have to figure out what that is or was and the only way to repair it and it's not overnight is follow through with your words whatever you say follow through with and anything that you know is nobody else's business except for yours and that persons

[FilmGuy93]

Usually it's because of how she responds to little day to day situations. like does she casually lie about dumb stuff? Does she have a quick temper?

[Asker]

Well with my particular situation. There was some truth and lies between this guy and I. And I told me friend about what I wanted her to tell him. So when it got back to him. He pretty much said, how I lied to him in front of his face. How he doesn't trust me nor anything I say. But, he wasn't completely honest with me. And what him and I discussed with my friend it was completely different to what both of us said to each other. So how can he say he DON'T trust me. When he didn't keep it 100% with me. :(

[Anonymous]

I don't build trust again with a woman who has been caught cheating. It just transforms the relationship into a cheating one where she cheats on me and I cheat on her and around and around we go.

[Asker]

With my situation. It was some truth and lies between me and this one dude guy. And I told me friend about what I wanted her to tell him. So when it got back to him. He pretty much said, how I lied to him in front of his face. And, How he doesn't trust me nor anything I say. But, yet he wasn't completely honest with me either with some things. And like what him and I discussed, with my friend, it was completely different to what both of him and I said to each other. So how, can he say he DON'T trust me. When he didn't keep it 100% with me. :(

[KrakenAttackin]

Women in general have completely lost their way. I would say most men with sense start with zero trust in a woman and slowly build trust.

[Asker]

My particular situation was. There was some truth and lies between this guy and I. And I told me friend about what I wanted her to tell him. So when it got back to him. He pretty much said, how I lied to him in front of his face. How he doesn't trust me nor anything I say. But, he wasn't completely honest with me. And what him and I discussed with my friend it was completely different to what both of us said to each other. So how can he say he DON'T trust me. When he didn't keep it 100% with me.

[Shihab91]

sacrifice is the best thing to build trust, but again? means it was broken which is hard and depends on why it's broken?

[Asker]

Well with my particular situation. There was some truth and lies between this guy and I. And I told me friend about what I wanted her to tell him. So when it got back to him. He pretty much said, how I lied to him in front of his face. How he doesn't trust me nor anything I say. But, he wasn't completely honest with me. And what him and I discussed with my friend it was completely different to what both of us said to each other. So how can he say he DON'T trust me. When he didn't keep it 100% with me.

[Shihab91]

this is bad, if you both lied equally I would say you have 2 options: 1- break up and move on 2- start all over again and build that trust again time will prove if you both finally being honest

[Asker]

Well that's what my friend was trying to get us to do. He was being stubborn and he didn't want to face the music. He say is how I don't listen I tried to dictate what he should feel or say or how to act. So he said he said his piece and he's just wasting his air and energy if he says anything else. But a lot of times when I would explain to him or tell him what was bothering me or what what's going on. He would hang up on my face and block me. But then tell me that he's going to be done with me but then unblocked me and hit me up. Keep reading

[Asker]

But he tells my friend that he wasn't trying to get to know me. And Hey he may not have. But before my friend got involved in my situation with him. He wasn't acting like that. I mean he was still coming off being an ass. But he tells my friend how he wasn't interested in me, and how it was much easier for him to share things with her, but the interactions was Mutual. But when I came back and told him! How I WASN'T interested in him whatsoever and how I never looked at him and how he was never my type. He felt some type of way. Yes he isn't my type and I wasn't looking at him. I even miss to him how I was talking with someone else. But yes. I started to like him. So when I told my friend that and she reply back to what I said he knew that was a bunch of BS. But I'm not about to make myself look dumb nawl. But I didn't like him for too long, b, c of his demeanor and how he presented itself after a while. And I told him. If you don't want to be bother then simply just leave me alone is that easy, as he was saying. So either he liked me too or liked my friend and I both. Or maybe just my friend. Just like she said don't allow me to be the problem just because I come into the picture. And he said, No your not the problem. He said you were never the problem there was nothing between her to start with. But then when he was iny face. It was a different type of vibe. She did come off giving her more respect, and was wayyy more open. And came off being a rude ass to me. But again. Before she even got in the picture. He didn't even know who she even was. And the communication between us: wasn't the best but we was still talking, and he was still hitting me up. Like I'm not expecting any guy or anyone I meet to develop feelings for me or like me right off the hand. But the shit he was saying... Wasn't cool. :(

[Shihab91]

I believe your friend ruined it, if i understood you correctly

[Shihab91]

But if he pick your friend over you then nothing you can do about it.

[Asker]

Yeah. Him and I was having some issues before then.. But he was still reaching out to me. . And the simple fact that he didn't even know her like that was he went crazy. He said how he was opened with share things with her because he already knew that he was interested in her. And how he was more willing to share things with her out the gate. Like frfr. But the last time that I recall and remember he mentioned said oh how he didn't like white girls they wasn't his thing but they're cool people. But for him to say some shit like that it's crazy as hell. And like I told her. If he wanted to get rid of me... then that doesn't mean to unblock me later when you're ready to talk. That means block me for good and forever. Sooo smh. He was trying to make it seem like I was crazy to her and just doing the most. But then try trying to fake as If he didn't want her.. I even gave her my permission to.

[Asker]

And he said no no is not that I'm just trying to what talk she is all about. But he said it's nothing like that I am looking at her in that kind of way. Like wtf!! And I think he end up going off on me because he was expecting her to call when she didn't or it was a delayed call. So the same day that I was going off on him, was the same day that he was big tripping. I was trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with him. And he was telling me Oh you got what you wanted no leave me alone like for real leave me alone. And I'm like didn't we just hook up. But he said I was a serious buzzkill and how I gave him headaches. And that a little bit hurt my feelings to be honest with y'all. Because there's a whole entire time I don't think that I was doing anything. I was simply doing what I would do with anybody that I don't know ask questions if I want to know something you ask questions. But he said that I would send him fifty-something messages a day and I apparently called him a lot.

[Asker]

First and foremost, let's correct something the times that he would block me how could I contact him. And even if I had ways to contact him I didn't once think about reaching out to him, in any other way. Because I personally knew that he will contact me first. And if that SOB really wanted to get rid of me. That means blocking me don't unblock me and don't call me don't contact me now or later. And as far as I know between y'all and me. He called me more than enough times. And the only times that I would send him a lot of messages, is when he would pissed me off. And even when we were on good terms and he didn't block me. I didn't call him often nor did I text him as much. When we have phone conversations we will be on the phone for hours and hours and hours he talked more than I did. And if there was something that I said wrong out of the way that he didn't like he was flipping around and make a big fuss about it and hang up on my face, and block me. No cap that is the actual truth. But he knows gotten well I didn't blow his phone up like that, and I definitely didn't ask 50 questions every single time. A lot of times we will just be talking about a bunch of random stuff life in our past relationships history with people that we've known or me talkin about God and how I want to do and be better. And even with the god situation he didn't want to hear about that. But yes if you're not interested in the conversations I'm having then he could have got off the phone.. he didn't mention to me about us having small talk and just going from there and keeping things casual. And that was that.. but at the end of the day small Talk's turned into our long conversations. Not even on my end but from him..

[Asker]

. A lot of times he just didn't like but couldn't comply or understand to what I was saying. And I know sometimes I'm not the best with words and communicating. But on the phone, I try to make myself as clear as possible and make myself understanding to the Listener. And that actually is how that actually really happen I never over in send my hours was texting him like crazy. I only blew up his phone when he pissed me off. So 🤷

[Asker]

Overly extended my hours with texting him as I told him before I have other friends and guy that talked to not just you know

[Marhaban-1]

Bitching and not taking it seriously. Don't try and make a u turn your just wasting your life

[Paulychicago10]

Cheating. Using me for money. Lying about who you are. Once those things have been crossed, there's no going back for me.

[Pogi-Paddy-2]

Using me for money, cheating, or lying about who you are. Once you've crossed these lines, there is no way that you'd ever regain my trust.

Remember: Trust is EARNED, although if it is lost it is truly IMPOSSIBLE to regain it.

[Dchrls78104]

Abuse or Disloyalty murders Trust. To resurrect Trust, you need Apologies, Kindness, Respect, and Positive behavioral changes.

[Asker]

? Respect is something that he needs to know

[Dchrls78104]

That works both.

[Dchrls78104]

Both ways*

[Anonymous]

Too many things to list here but attention seeking from other men is at the top of the list. Any type of lying is also at the top of the list

[Asker]

Well with my particular situation. There was some truth and lies between this guy and I. And I told me friend about what I wanted her to tell him. So when it got back to him. He pretty much said, how I lied to him in front of his face. How he doesn't trust me nor anything I say. But, he wasn't completely honest with me. And what him and I discussed with my friend it was completely different to what both of us said to each other. So how can he say he DON'T trust me. When he didn't keep it 100% with me.

[Opinion Owner]

I dont know. Maybe no one can except for him

[Asker]

He should have been honest with me and the things that he did he didn't stick to them.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

don't lie