What makes a man trust a woman?

[DermalPunch]

Does a woman need to be actively earning a man's trust in a romantic relationship or is it just something he decides a woman is worthy of?

[DaveJord]

Absolutely, a women needs to actively earn a mans trust. And absolutely at some people if you are a man or women we all on a subconscious level have to make that decision if the other person is worthy of our trust.

What's the old saying; "trust is earned not given."

How to earn it... that's the tricky part right? Best you can do is be responsive, do no leave text messages sitting on read for days without responding. Be transparent about things, do not sit on your emotions and stew over it, just tell him. Now know just because you share your emotions you have to understand he will not relate to them on the same emotional level as you, but do take that to mean he does not care. Part of earning trust is being willing to trust in kind. So you have to be willing to trust him as much as you want him to trust you.

Simply put, be responsive, be transparent and forth coming about things and especially the things you don't really want him to find out or know about you. Trust me on that fact, at some point everything comes out and you really want it to be one who tells him and not someone else... because in time he will eventually figure it out anyway and then be upset that you kept it from him. That destroys trust.

[DermalPunch]

Yes, this is what I say. This is how I roll.

[jeffiner]

When you enter a relationship, an amount of trust should already be there. Over time the ability to know that you'll have his back and he'll have yours is what's proven.
When you enter into a relationship and either you or him approaches it with an attitude of 'all the others hurt me so I'm going to treat you like you will too until you show me otherwise'... Well then the relationship won't work. PERIOD! It's not the job of the new partner to mend what was broken by the last partner (s). That should have been done before the thought of a new relationship is even entertained in ones mind.
However, if you have given reason as to why you can't be trusted, then the only reason you're together is either lust, convenience or financial -so again, it's not going to work.
If you haven't ever done anything and the relationship just started and he's already telling you that he doesn't trust you you need to earn it then you need to walk away. He is trying to make you solve a problem that is his own personal problem. and that also should tell you that he doesn't self-reflect so he doesn't see where he went wrong in any of his past relationships..
Remember it takes two to tango so it takes two to make a relationship work and it takes two to make a relationship Fall apart.
And lastly but definitely not least importantly.. expectations for trust is something that should always be talked about before a relationship is started that way you know what you need to do in order to maintain the trust and vice versa otherwise you're shooting at an empty goal that you don't even know the location of.

[sage2021]

I think that with time you will know if she is trustworthy or not. I believe you have to earn someone's trust, it's not automatic.
See how she is around other people. See if she is a giving person and helps other's in need. Us she dependable with you and doesn't always make excuses as to why she was late, stood you up, didn't answer your calls, etc. Does she check out other guys when she's with you. Things like that.
I guess not doing any of that stuff would make a man trust a woman.

[DermalPunch]

That's how most guys act.

[Datboi65]

Yes, she does need to earn his trust, just like he needs to earn hers. I would say a huge contributor to that is her past.

Ladies, you may not like to hear this, but us men WILL judge your past. Have you cheated before? How many guys have you been with? Do you have any baggage/trauma? Do you come from a two-parent household, or were you raised by a single mother? We look at these things and assess them, and it's quite logical as to why.

What does it mean? You have to make good decisions. Being a single mother means you made a bad decision to have a kid with a man that did not commit to you, and then asking for another man to do that. That's not trustworthy. At the end of the day, I believe people are redeemable and women with a bad past can try to change their future, but I believe they have to work a lot harder to earn a man's trust compared to a woman with good history.

Remember, actions speak louder than words. Can't tell someone you hate cheaters when you cheated on your last 2 exes, makes you a hypocrite. If you wanna call someone insecure for asking all of the questions, that's even more of a red flag, because if you have nothing to hide, you wouldn't deflect or lie.

[DermalPunch]

Not all single mothers have children out of wedlock. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Sonif a man comes firm a single parent household and slutted around plenty cheating on exes he's a great catch? I came from a single parent home and I didn't repeat the cycle. I can't stand judgmental men who hold a woman's past over her. If she is still falling into the same traps fine but I'd she has learned and not repeated old patterns who cares.

[Datboi65]

Did you not read everything I have written? I said people are redeemable, but you will have to work harder to earn a man's trust. That's just objective. You're at a disadvantage because you are competing with women who come from healthy households, and that's not your fault. It is what it is. What you should do is try better yourself and deal with it, rather than complain about what men want and call us judgmental for it.

Also, this is a post about women not men. Men care more about a woman's past rather than the reverse. Having said that, I would still say that you shouldn't go for a guy who has cheated on his exes or didn't have a father figure, because 9/10 it's just not the same as someone who was raised with both parents.

Do not get in your feelings, try to understand why. I can't relate to a lot of your problems, and I cannot be your psychologist because I'm not qualified for it. That's fine. It's not being judgmental, it's just being honest. I can't deal with people who have shown a tendency to cheat in the past either. If it makes me a judgmental person, I will take it because I would rather be judgmental and protected rather than taking risks on people and suffering because of it.

At the end of the day, it's a lot of men who think like myself who are not going to say it, but there you go.

[DermalPunch]

My household was very healthy. Again showing your prejudice. Just because two parents are there doesn't mean it's healthy. Some of the most dysfunctional, abusive households I have ever witnessed had both parents.
And why on earth must someone redeem themselves from something they had no control over?

I guess women over 25 are used up and worthless too. 💊💊💊

[Datboi65]

Once again, you're not thinking with logic. I referenced growing in a single parent household as just 1 of many different factors that will make someone's past questionable, so I know that people who grow up in a 2 parent household can also be dysfunctional. However, exceptions do not make rules. Statistically speaking, those who grow up without a father are more likely to become criminals in the future, and women without fathers are more likely to become promiscuous. Is there a chance that that won't happen? Of course it's possible, but I'm talking about which scenario I'd more likely to happen. Remember that always it's probability > possibility.

You brought up the second one out of nowhere, I didn't say anything about women over the age of 25. Don't put words in my mouth.

[Datboi65]

Also, the answer to that one is simple. You redeem your self by making better decisions. You didn't have the best start which isn't your fault, but you control your life decisions. Same for people who grow up in poverty and then become successful, they didn't have control over the start but they made great decisions that got them there. The reason I brought up the single mother thing, is because a lot of people repeat the cycle and become a statistic, so unless you break the cycle, men will be alarmed by it.

[dynamicyandere]

In a romantic relationship, if they managed to get that far with me, they’ve earned a decent amount of trust already. I’m introverted AND demisexual AND not an open book. So to get past my walls, they’ve done pretty well.


But even then, for me, trust works in layers. There’s surface level trust and there’s deeper trust. I definitely am willing to trust but that is earned both passively and actively.


They can passively earn my trust by passing my gut check. When I just feel that they are genuine and authentic with me and they feel trustworthy. My intuition has served me quite well and some people have said that I can verbalize their own thoughts and feelings without them even telling me those things yet. I’m not psychic but my intuition is quite strong and I can rely on it. So, this establishes the initial trust one can passively earn.


Then there’s actively earning my trust. This is pretty much their track record with me. Do they have a clean track record? Have they done anything that would warrant any distrust? What have they done to prove or suggest they can be trusted with more?


So there you have it. Passively earned trust and actively earned trust. But either way, it is still earned. People that give their trust to people who have not earned it, get burned more often than not. And, they either stop trusting people in general or they become super selective or just more cautious.

[Finchie40]

When she removes selfishness for him , respects him and values him , makes a him her number 1 priority , wears his shoes like he wears hers , staying loyal and faithful , removing herself from things that can cause conflict in the relationship , Making him feel wanted and loved , He will do the same for her , if boundaries are set they have to be set for the both of you , If those boundaries our broken he will lose respect and trust for her , You can’t expect someone to do something for you that you can’t do for them , that’s where resentments and double standards come into play , Most girls don’t grasp this concept , she will set boundaries for him for things that she doesn’t like him doing and if he loves her he will stop but she won’t do that for him , when she withholds sex from him because he forgot to take the trash out he will start resenting her , if he feels the relationship is one sided he will more than likely leave or find someone else , Relationships are based off of give and take , prioritizing each other , and realizing you are not always getting your way , knowing you aren’t always right and he is wrong , those things is what makes love grow between 2 people , if you can’t sacrifice for your partner they can’t sacrifice for you , Just remember whatever you do your partner can do as well , respect each other and value each other over anyone else , It’s you and him VS the world , Never put your friends over your partner , Your friends won’t be there forever but your partner will be if you value each other , Always think how your partner would feel before making decisions, think how you would feel if your partner was making decisions without you

[J2ohhhhh]

Imagine what things you have to trust in a man. Like you'd go out on a drive he shows you his favourite place stars and shit, yet it's quiet and there's noone around. So it is quite beneficial if you can trust him not raping, killing, burying you. You made the date in one piece, there's chemistry. About to get into a relationship, which in preferably he wouldn't fuck your best friend, sister, the neighbor, the post woman, you name it.

I don't know if you see the pattern. Women has to trust men's intentions.

We men on the other hand, care significantly less about your intentions.

We man were down on that road so many times to never trust women's sanity, it's just not going to happen. But! We know that a woman who trust us. The one whose first thought if we are not answering the phone is not that we are cheating, is the one who we can trust.

Imagine what if, she thinks - emphasize the word think, cus she has no evidence - that he's fucking the milk lady. But she thinks and talks to a few other crazy women who with 0 evidence conclude that he must be cheating, otherwise he'd answer his phone. Se she feels betrayed, disrespect, angry and justifies "cheating back".

TLDR: You have to show him that you trust him, and he will trust you.

[rtj1211]

Of course a woman needs to earn a man's trust. There are hundreds of thousands of truly appalling women out there in the big bad world, not to mention the tens of millions of two-timing unpleasant bitches that enjoy nothing better than treating men like expendable wallets.

Even amongst the billions of decent women, large numbers may not earn a man's trust simply because their character isn't a fit with his. That's a no blame real life scenario that most have experienced.

Just remember: if a man is looking for sex, he's not necessarily wanting to be hearing all about it from the other women in his circle of acquaintances, he may very well want a woman who keeps bedroom activities in the bedroom.

If he's looking for a wife, he's looking for someone he wants to create children with, the greatest level of trust that you can ever grant another human being. You know, preventing your U5 being killed running out into the street through lack of supervision. Trustworthiness is a very different concept to sexiness. It's about reliability, avoidance of unnecessary stupid risk, not letting others down, not wasting money irresponsibly, having integrity as a human being.

[DermalPunch]

Plenty of guys dropping babies in women they don't trust who are unfit mothers.

[Death_To_Stress]

Nature does. We don't approach women we distrust, so if we're interested in a woman there's already implied trust there.

Don't worry about trying to make trust grow. Time does that. The question you should be asking is "What makes a man DISTRUST a woman?"

That's the whole game.

Trust builds and builds and builds all on its own unless you do something to fuck it up, whether it's one big thing or an accumulation of many small things over time. The level of trust he places in you may continue to grow after that or it may not, but it will never be as strong as it could have otherwise. Good luck!

[NathanDavis]

at this point, for me it's experience...

I have experience, I've been in great relationships with women, romantic ones but also have them as my best friends in this life, and of course the ones in my family...

men or women do not actually makes a difference to me, trust is not a thing about gender, trust is a thing of character and from individuals so, when I notice certain patterns and those patterns remain very consistent, and also withhold against the test of times and adverse situations that might arise at any given moment, that's how you realize that you can trust in people as much as they trust in you

and yes, reciprocation is absolutely important, and I do think this is actually the most important factor... when you are a person you can be trusted on and also reliable, that's when you have it the easiest to find others that are very much like you, the people that can be trusted and you can rely on

[libsaretards]

It takes time and patience. I observe EVERYTHING a woman does over time and see how well it matches what she says. I watch for unexplainable contradictions (yes I specified UNEXPLAINABLE because every human has some contradictions). I watch how she talks/treats those in a service position/position under her. I watch how she talks/treats her family and friends. I watch how she handles her enemies. I watch how she chooses to spend her time. I pay attention to how well she takes care of herself and her space. I pay attention to many other things. All these things combined show me her character more than anything she could ever tell me.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Not cheating/Just flirting with guys and saying that just flirting isn't cheating until you end up cheating... that would be a big step... stop flirting to begin with. If you're flirting with others you're obviously going to cheat. Plus it's disrespectful unless you're just fine for me to flirt my ass off as well.

It doesn't matter because I don't trust women to begin with. I'm married over 10 years and I don't trust that woman.

[DermalPunch]

Are you the one who gets action on the side from time to time because you need variety?

[D_Bone_Steak]

Yup, that's me.

[DermalPunch]

Ok. So you aren't to be trusted then.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Hey... when I have permission it isn't cheating or deceptive at all.

[RangerBlue22]

She needs to earn it just as much as vice versa.

Women often wonder why men hesitate to say “I love you” and/or really commit. The truth is we have a lot further to fall when relationships go south. Dating is tougher for them to begin (when all else is equal). If they show their emotions they get labeled weak and women respect them less. Society just assumes that men are supposed to have their shit together.

So we are more weary to fully commit. We might “feel” in love. But when we say “I love you” it’s not just expressing an emotion like women do. To us it’s a pledge of loyalty. And women need to earn that if they expect men to commit.

[DermalPunch]

In my experience, men use I love you to hook a woman emotionally to avoid committing and future fake to get sex and comfort without giving her what she deserves. Selfish.

[RangerBlue22]

Well there is an old saying that “‘men fall in love with what they see and women fall in love with what they hear”. So this is why women wear makeup and men lie.

I was never a good liar. But I’ve seen other guys do this to “get their foot in the door” with women. Once she catches feelings for him she often gives him leeway on his bs.

I was never like that. Once you lie you have to lie more to cover your bs. But I swear I wonder how many women quickly rejected me (even though I would of been a good boyfriend) just because I was more honest then most in the beginning. Women reject fast from what they hear men say. They really do.

[DermalPunch]

I never believe what a man says. I pretend but I don't. Men will say anything for pussy. As a result, I never had a boyfriend all through high school and never had much success in uni. I was with a total narcisstic, histrionic borderline dude from 17-19. I was naïve and I am just now realizing how much it damaged me.

I look at actions. Rarely do men's words and actions match. If they do it's only until they feel you are I to them.

I've had to dole out a lot of rude awakenings.

So, except that one dude, my dating relationships were pretty short because I wouldn't put up with much.

Also, my Dad was full of fancy words but was not reliable or dependable and would never inconvenience himself for me.

I've built up the strength to be vulnerable and put myself out there but I don't think I can change the fact that I'm just waiting for a man to cheat or start taking me for granted. They never disappoint. I don't trust a single man alive except my son.

[RangerBlue22]

Well you have been through the ringer over the years so I don’t blame you for feeling that way. I’ve had the following done to me:

- been ghosted with no warning after a 9 month relationship.
- been told straight to my face I was unattractive on a first date.
- been treated like absolute shit for being a “nice guy” vía friendzone bs when I was younger. Women don’t get away with this crap with me anymore. But some still try.
- been treated like I was less than human (not exaggerating) after a break up by the same woman who once told me “I was good to the core” only a fe months earlier.

I own up to making mistakes on that one (acting immature, disconnected, taking her for granted at times). But I never did anything fundamentally wrong (cheating, physical abuse, etc).

But she gave me one of the nastiest insults I’ve ever taken from a woman in my entire life after we split. I then blamed myself for a very long time for believing I ruined a good thing. Then I found out 2 years ago she cheated on me. Then everything made sense. She had to see me as less than human to placate her pos ego.

Anyway I am much more careful and guarded when I interact with women. I really want to give it my all with the right one. But she has not only earn my trust but keep it.

Anyway being bitter and jaded isn’t healthy for neither or of us. But we need to pray that we can have better judgment and good insights. I really want to be ultimately happy and I bet you do too.

[DermalPunch]

That is awful and people are really cruel. I'm not unhappy. I have a lot going for me and I am content. What pisses me off is how I distracts me from my personal goals. I am a very driven woman even thiugh I go about it in a feminine way. I hate love relationships putting a dent in my stride. Yes, it hurts to be used and taken advantage of but you just put it on the pile.

[RangerBlue22]

What I listed above wasn’t all of it. Truth is I wish at times I could have a lobotomy to forget all that. But I need to just move on and do my best.

I just feeling “embarrassed” being a single and often bitter man at times. All my younger friends are married and have kids. Most of my old friends are married or have long time gfs.

I actually have an opportunity to get married to a wonderful woman for mutually beneficial economic purposes right now. She’s a wonderful person but I’m not in love with her because I don’t find her attractive (she knows that). I do deeply respect her though.

I’m not going to go into details about how this came about. It just really sucks because if I was attracted to her I would of taken this up in a heartbeat. Everything else about her is perfect.

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't know the answer. It's hard for men to trust women these days when it comes to commitment and relationships. I mean the traditional assumption was that men are the cheaters and women are the victims, but plenty of studies have shown now that is not true. And when it comes to marriage, half of them end in divorce and women file 80% of them. Doing the math, that means a man going into marriage knows that he has a 40% chance of being divorced by his wife. That is a staggering statistic. And of course it's no secret that men get screwed in divorce court and child custody settlements. Trust? That is a tough one for men these days.

How do you convince a man he will not be one of the 40% whose wife will divorce him? I truly don't know. That is a steep uphill battle.

[caring__1]

I look to see how considerate she is of others. When she focuses on entitlement to receive or change others, I back out quickly. I want to see how she shows her caring for others before I trust a woman. Unfortunately, unconditional caring and consideration and respect are hard to find. Showing she also cares about and respects herself is the icing on the cake.

[HighValue]

She needs to prove that she has compatible moral values as he does and she needs to show that she can keep conversations just between them and not repeat certain stuff to her friends or family. Also, if they have disagreements, she needs to talk with HIM to resolve things, NOT with other people and spread their business around.

If she does that right, she can gain trust, if not then nope.

[KittyBox]

Just be supportive, if he tries his best at what he does, or wants to pursue something and you're being helpful, encouraging him and listening to him, that alone will make them feel blessed to have you by their side, little things like that are the most effective in my experience.

[ohsheeT]

A man that likes himself who likes the woman has no reason not to trust her until she gives him a reason

A man who is not trustworthy will not trust a woman because he thinks KS she is just like him
So any time the woman is doing anything
Weather she is innocent or not the man is going to accuser for doing something wrong because that's what he does

[Juxtapose]

Yes you have to actively earn my trust by not being a shit person and by having the same standard of character I do. I expect you to be honest with me, to not steal from me, to have my best interests at heart and treat me with genuine compassion and so on.

For example, if 10 years in the relationship she cut out sex entirely then I will lose my trust for her because she is very clearly telling me she doesn't care about how I feel or about the relationship.

[Chazmatazz269]

I’m fairly certain i’m no longer capable of trusting a woman. I’m also certain that it was plain old ignorance and naivety that caused me to trust before. It blows my mind that i trusted women as much as i did for as long as i did. I can’t imagine there’s a woman alive who would go to the lengths that i would expect in order to prove herself to anyone, let alone me.
Naturally i’m certain i’m worth the while, but who doesn’t feel that way? Ell oh ell!

[JBlade]

Basically, how she treats or considers me. Most have never provided the same consideration in return though so I personally find it hard to trust or like many women. I can only think of a few that have ever put in a fair amount of effort.

[nawtee_me]

For me trust is freely given until there is a reason not to. It is only earned if it had been betrayed at some point. I do not have trust issues.

what about you?

[DermalPunch]

Oh I have gigantic trust issues! It would be nice if a man could prove me wrong just once. I'm always bang on the money.

[nawtee_me]

I am sorry to hear that, if I could take you up on that offer I would.

[DermalPunch]

That's sweet. Thanks!

[Jamie05rhs]

It's the little things that add up over time. But it starts by treating him with kindness and respect.

[Jamie05rhs]

And being RELIABLE. Omg, this is such a big thing. Sometimes I wonder if women even have any idea.

[DermalPunch]

Are you serious? I find men soooo unreliable.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DermalPunch. Maybe it's a problem on both sides, then.

[DermalPunch]

I find women to be slightly more flaky, yes.

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay; thanks.

[Anonymous]

Trust comes with truly getting to know someone and developing a deep and lasting bond. That is true for both sexes. Unfortunately, it seems most men are either not interested in doing that now or just have a hard time trusting women. Tbh I can't really blame them. I would be terrified about getting married too if I was a man.

[RiseofArtemis]

Women can truly blame the government on this one. Men by Nature didn't trust women a lot and now with the government giving even more reasons to not trust you I guess you will never be able to see a man trust you enough. The government is basicaly the knife a Woman has hiden behind her back and can Stab the man at any time.

The laws which cause that are reduculously obvious.

[OlderThanILook]

Respecting boundaries, putting effort into making him feel wanted, not having a shady obsession with playing mind games, etc.

[FilmGuy93]

Non-argumentativeness, actually listening to what he has to say, not gossipping with her girlfriends all the time. Not giving attitude about small shit.

[d3n0939]

Waiting till mariage,
good listener,
Understanding person,
Doesn't play mindgames,
Emotionaly matured,
Modest,
Likes to have children,
Respects others,
And forgiving

[TroyDT]

Her being trustworthy. Not being snide here. When she shows she is worthy of trust, she will be trusted. And the ladies should do the same with men.

[byrdman89]

Personally I don't believe trust is earned I believe it is given if the person I give my trust to breaks it especially numerous times then I'm going to stop giving it -

[BLP11520]

You have to trust your choice and believe in her

[DermalPunch]

She should surely show that she is.

[LoverBigBear]

The way i view, it all depends on the relationship trusts romantic couples. There woman are more trust romantic then man, if not it the other way around. Like myself, seeing this woman, she knows by now, that I'm sweet, charming, romantic man, & so she is too. Good luck you guys

[TheSpaceGnome]

Time, effort, and love is how you earn trust.

[Zolly99999]

I don't know... I have a very difficult time trusting... Especially since every serious relationship I ever had the girl cheated on me.

[loveslongnails]

I've always trusted my girlfriends until they gave me reason not to.

[freewife]

it depends on the state of the relationship. If it needs confirmation then it’s likely something is already wrong.

[DermalPunch]

It was a question. It isn't about any particular relationship

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Its something you earn by showing yourself to be trustworthy and honest on a consistent basis.

[MementoMori_]

"What makes a man trust a woman?"

Time...

A LOT of Time.

[SolitarySolace]

Trusting women is impossible. They don't trust you so why trust them?

[nickaboy]

Nothing , nothing wil make me trust a woman anymore

[TonightYouu]

Let us put it in your butt and always swallow

[Twalli]

Personally. I think you should trust the person you're dating, until they prove otherwise

[scooogy]

I had trusted my ex-crush because she was listening to me and understanding me patiently.

[OddBeMe]

Same as anything. Evidence.

Except religionists. Not sure what makes them beleive.

[Luopio27]

No games, no signals, no have to compete over.

[BarryLiverstone]

Time and seeing if her words match her actions

[Anonymous]

Between the cheating and the demands for money - not much.

[jofares]

Hell genuine sadness when saying goodbye to him

[EaterPeter]

Being an idiot like my self

[Anonymous]

Being trustworthy.

[RandomGuy1032]

A gut feeling that theyre being honest

[magiusX26]

both. as it should be in the other direction too

[Jay3344]

Honesty

[oohyeh72]

Give birth to him, otherwise nah nah

[MiseriaCantareAFI]

Just don't lie?

[Anonymous]

Definitely needs to be earned

[Anonymous]

Women can’t be trusted.

[Anonymous]

he can't

[Anonymous]

I'll be honest with you. It's sex

[DermalPunch]

Plenty of men sleep with women they wouldn't trust as far as they can throw them. Heck some even marry them!

[Opinion Owner]

Who told you a man trust a woman forever? Only until she's young and thin. For instance Leonardo DiCaprio but most are not as rich as Leo so they really can't afford it.