Can't even compare those two. Cigarettes doesn't give any kind of effect or high. It's just a trap to get people addicted and buying more because they need to relieve their withdrawal symptoms.
Weed on the other hand actually gives some kind of an effect. Some like it some don't, I do like it. But I don't smoke either anymore. Weed I could smoke if someone offers but cigarettes never again.
@PaynefulPleasures Thanks for posting the Afroman song. Someone gave me a copy of 'Because I Got High' years ago, but never told me who did the song. I never took the time to look it up. Now I know. That and a $1.50 will get me a cup of coffee, but hey, again, thanks.
@nolabels I would probably be pretty boring. Any time I'd go to parties, I'd just sit in the living room and listen to music or other people yammering on about all kinds of stuff, most of which doesn't interest me. I'd rather play cards but, most of the party goers weren't into it at all and were mostlly iinterested in getting wasted.
@FunkyMonkee Music indeed you have! I have music as well, but yours is a lot more fun than most of mine. Me bring the broads? I think that once you and I teamed up, they'd be flamingoing at our feet. Unless that concept still might frighten you somewhat. I wouldn't want you to start having flashbacks. Just forget that I mentioned that part. What's that, you can't forget? Why didn't I just backspace to just before the possibly trauma inducing words? Come on. Admit it, you enjoyed the entire flamingo episode, except maybe the courtroom drama, but hey, you were acquitted there, so all is good. Am I right, or am I right?
Ahem, attention, to the ladies, or anyone for that matter, who may stumble across this rather cryptic intercourse of words between FunkyMonkee and myself, you have entered into our world of sometimes sophomoric, but entirely meant for fun, ongoing dialogue to see who can out-fantasize the other. It's quite entertaining to myself, and as far as I can tell, to FunkyMonkee as well. I bow to FunkyMonkee for his stark originality.
@nolabels Well, that just comes with having 54,000 records in your collection! The stoats and wallabees have helped me get over the flamingos. https://youtu.be/sTxzmLyVFYY Thank you for the bow! Um, while you're down there...
@FunkyMonkee Here, here now. My bow was quickly rendered and I am once again upright.
54K albums? All vinyl, or a mix of media types? That is an impressive number. Where do you sleep, the driveway?
Old Manfred Mann knew where the action was at a long time ago, didn't he? You can't say he held out on us. He proclaimed flamingos to be wonderful creatures in 1966. Little did he know, though, that they have a mob mentality when in the presence of one who possesses a large plankton bankton account.
I think I'm going to go naked nocturnal Squatchette hunting tonight. That's my cover story, anyway. I'm going to slowly cruise the shoreline of Squatch Lake in my boat using just the trolling motor so as to remain stealthy. I have an invisibility cloak for the entire boat, as well as a Tesla shield to prevent them from picking up my electromagnetic field. I fear that there may be a particular bandwidth of my brainwaves that may get through my shielding. That may turn out to be good or bad. I guess I'll find out.
If I run across any undeniably seductive sirens in my quest, well, it's been nice knowing ya! Hopefully, though, I'll encounter some wood nymphs that'll transport me out of this weird, warped pseudo Oz land that those mischievous narwhals tricked me into entering. I hope the nymphs do other things before sending me on my way, though. I found those carpsuckers I was looking for. They were fun, but towards home they did not send me.
What's that, you say I'm in G@G land? Well, that explains some, but not all of the phenomena that I'm experiencing.
I'm just going to have fun while I'm wherever the hell I am.
Those narwhals will be sorry when they see me again. I just ran across Barney the dinosaur. He promises me that he'll 'friend' them into giving up their horn twirling powers of universe transfer that is inflicted upon those who witness them. Barney really said that and I believe him. Of course, I thought the narwhals were my pals at one time, too.
I'm glad that the stoats and wallabies are working out for you. I've heard that their company is the first line of recovery assistance that all flamingo ravaged, plankton bankton account depleted poor souls should enlist in their journey back from such traumatization. But who listens? To date, you, FunkyMonkee are the first I've heard who has enlisted such assistance. Good for you for taking advantage of the opportunity. You lead where others may follow.
Onward to naked nocturnal Squatchetteing and wood nymph pursuing. Wish me 'bon voyage'!
@nolabels I just you could, uh, tie my shoes! No, 54,000 records. Albums, singles, 78's, 80's cylinders, CD's (at least 1000), cassettes (also at least 1000), open reel tapes (several hundred). It WOULD be at least 56,000 but, because of my ex-sisters, I lost about 2000 78's just over a year ago. When I was still in MY house, I slept on the third floor with most of my collection. Now that I'm in what used to be my grandmother's house (thanks to those two evil, greedy cunts), all of my stuff I was able to rescue is in storage about 2 miles from here. I have to shed all the hundreds of old clothes from this place before I can even THINK of bringing it up here!! As this house is a LOT smaller than what I used to have, I may NEVER get it ALL here from storage!! Herb Alpert knew, too!! https://youtu.be/ed26l4AN1Jc Why would you need a cover story if you're going naked? Why don't you just get a Tesla boat with the cloak and shield built right in? Be careful a sasquatch doesn't steal your squatch when you catch them!!! Did you know that when catch a squatch you have to squelch it but, be careful not to scratch the squelched squatch when you catch it!! The best way to catch a squelched squatch is in a ditch!! But a scratched squelched squatch may pitch a bitch in the pitch dark ditch! But, if you have a niche to catch a scratched squelched squatch in a pitch dark ditch and it pitches a bitch, NEVER throw a match to the scratched squelched squat pitching a bitch in the pitch dark ditch or it'll twitch like an itchy witch on a hitch switch!! (Who needs drugs?) I find out all the time!! Every time I go through my front door I find out!! I can even see out through my window?
@nolabels Those wood nymphs are worse than the flamingos!! Especially if you're sporting wood!! You think those carpsuckers are good at sucking, you ain't seen sucking `til you've seen those nymphs sucking on wood!! You haven't had your carp sucked until a wood nymph gets at it!!! You ran across Barney? I hope you hurt him pretty badly!! You can't trust a WORD Barney says! Yes, Wallaby Stoat & Son's is a great firm to have behind you!! FAR behind you!! You can't BELIEVE how badly they smell!! Have you ever smelled smelt? Well, they smelled worse than smelt smelled!! I've smelled smelt before but I've never smelled smelt like that smelt smelled!! I lead where others WISH they could follow!! And the same goes for otters!! AND the otters daughters!! One time I sought an otter's daughter and bought her a yacht and a pot or two!! I just thought I oughta. Okay, but on your own head be it!! Don't say I didn't warn you!! Von boyage!!
Remember Tyrone Shoelaces? I thought of him right before I read the first line of your last response. I swear. The second before.
Mister Rogers appeared before me in that weird Oz place yesterday. He wanted to know if I wanted to visit The Magic Kingdom with him. I told him that it was too early for me to be going to The Magic Kingdom. He was kind of disappointed, but you know Mr. Rogers, nothing keeps him down for long. So, we had a nice little chat for a while. I asked him if he could help me get back home, but he just said that it was within myself to get back home. You'll find out further down that he knew what he was talking about. It was within me, and then it was out of me. You can't argue with Mr. Rogers, so we said our goodbyes and he went on with tying his shoes over and over again.
I love me some Herb Alpert anytime, day or night. Remember the album cover for 'Whipped Cream and Other Delights'?
I spent a fair amount of my boyhood enraptured by that image. It's permanently burned into my soul. I'll probably go to hell for having it there.
Yeah, who needs drugs? I'm looking out my back door..., of my house, that is, not my other back door. That just wouldn't work out too well, everything would have a brown tint to it.
I ran across a scratched squelched squatch on my foray last night, on top of a hill for goodness sake. Can you imagine trying to squelch a squatch on top of a hill? Preposterous. It's no wonder he got scratched. A funny thing, there was a witch hovering above us in a fusion powered DeLorean. I have no idea what she was up to. Some amateur wannabe squatchers had a hold of ole Squatch earlier in the night. They had no idea what they were doing. The poor thing, he was in tears, needing a hug real bad. He told me the whole story, in a nanosecond, by mental telepathy. I took good care of him until his Squatchette came by to get him home. She gave me a look that said, 'Come on by later after I get old Squatch here to sleep'. Then she mental telepathied me a future, ahem, look at our soon to be consummated tryst. Well, I'm here to tell you that I eventually got back out of the woods much later than I originally intended. Woohoo!
I never did encounter any wood nymphs. I still think I might like to. Forbidden fruit, you know. One is too many, a thousand not enough. Oh, temptation is a powerful thing!
I'm retired and on a budget, so my current boat and shielding apparatus will have to do. I'm pretty proud of it, if I say so myself. It only takes a wave of my naked wand to make it all appear, fully rigged and ready to Squatch. In fact, I don't even have to think about it. I get naked and presto, I have a fully rigged, shielded Squatching boat at my disposal. I have to wait until I get the boat launched in the water though, because other boaters can't see me and try to launch their boats right through mine. The shielding affects my truck as well as the boat, so my entire rig is totally invisible. I had one near miss once when I thought I was alone at the boat ramp. Well, here comes this other rig that starts to back down the ramp. Boy, were they surprised when they heard my disembodied voice yelling at them to quit backing down the ramp. Luckily, I had a codpiece that I quickly threw on that brought everything back into clear sight. Those guys looked at me kind of funny for a minute, then went on about their boating business. Never again. Whew!
So, Barney's a bad one too, huh? I never did like that guy when my kid used to watch him on the tube, but he was so friendly when I encountered him in that warped Land of Oz that I began to trust him. Thankfully, my, ahem, encounter with Madam Squatch catapulted me back into this world.
So, that was my last 24 hours.
Fun was had by all except poor ole Squatch, and Mr. Rogers too, I guess. He didn't want to go to The Magic Kingdom all by himself. I kind of feel bad about that. Maybe I'll look him up and take a romp in the Kingdom with him. Squatchette telepathied me that ole Squatch is recovering nicely. Those Squatches recover from most trauma fairly quickly. Except for flamingo encounters. They'll rattle anybody's bones to the core if you're not extremely careful.
@nolabels Basetball jones I got a basetball jones I got a basetball jones oh, baby ooo wee ooooo!! Mr. Rogers used to live abut 10 miles from me! I'm told he was actually a rotten SOB that hated kids!! https://youtu.be/mLxGiXMEbEM There were about 5 other people that did parody's of that Alpert cover! I saw a recent pic of that woman, she didn't age well!! Maybe all that whipped cream went bad on her. Well, I hope you didn't make the cover all sticky!! Whipped CREAM and OTHER DELIGHTS? Hmmmmm. What are they trying to tell us? Yeah, NOT the kind of back door you'd want to be looking through! If the scratched squelched Squatch was high on a hill, did he bother to share what he was smoking? A Preposterous? I've seen one of those at the museum!! Well, just the skeleton. And, NO, it WASN'T a RED skeleton! Well, YEAH!! Proposterae are well known for scratching squelched Squatches!! Gotta watch THOSE cars!! They tend to have LOTS of coke in the trunk!! In as such, I'd say the witch was up to at least 6 snorts a day!! Are you sure it wasn't an amateur WALLABY Squatcher? The wallaby was in tears? A nanosecond? Cool!! That's FAST!! I guess they can almost travel in time, then!! But, it IS pretty easy to do! All you have to do is make a cup of instant coffee in a microwave!! I remember the last time I went back in time! No, wait!! That was 10 years from now! Gotta watch out for those horny Squatchettes!! They're almost as bad as the flamingos!!
@nolabels Your travels in time don't remind of a story I've never heard! One bright morning in the middle of the night Two dead boys got up to fight One was blind, the other couldn't see So, they chose Dick Tracey to referee Back to back, they faced each other! Pulled out swords and shot each other!! A deaf policeman heard the noise, ran upstairs and killed the two dead boys! I HATE when other boaters try to launch right through my boat!! Especially when I'm eating lunch when I launch!! That spills the lunch and the punch and I have to get a new punch and lunch from Lurch! I once had a miss near, too but, she got away!! I guess I'll have to make the ropes tighter, next. When they looked at you funny, did you start laughing? I don't even think Betty trusts Barney!! I didn't know Squatchette was a Madame!! You left out THAT part!! Mr. Rogers asked me to go to the magic kingdom and I said, "No, I gotta drive!" Oh, yeah!! I know ALL ABOUT how flamingos can rattle your bones! Assuming you HAVE bones!!
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
+1 y
+1 y
Most Helpful Opinions