What do I do? asa 15 year old male?

[Anonymous]

Im constantly depressed, My dad died months ago my grandpa is on the verge of death and so is my dog that i have had since i was little, Life is boring and its just a endless cycle of "wake up go to school, Work go home and sleep" , The only thing that makes me smile is this gay guy in my class that im in love with but he already has a boyfriend!, i can't be myself and everyone i love and everyone around me is homophobic, My family is also poor and we literally live by the dollar, I honestly dont see the worth of living, Its just one big ball of shit.

[hm7733]

I have literally never related to anything more in my life. My dads funeral was the same weekend as my 14th birthday and both my grandad and Grandma died within a year of him. I am also a lesbian and I went to a strict Catholic school where the homophobia was really something. I was out of my mind with grief and was completely suicidal
I did not think I would make it past 16 even a little bit but I did, grief is one of the worst feeling and it seems like it's never going to leave you but it does. It took about 2 years before my dad's death stopped hurting me so bad I couldn't cope but now its just a dull ache around his birthday or fathers day and it's easy to cope with.
And once I become an adult I was able to interact more with the queer community and find more people like me that love me and that hurts less too.

I'm not good with words really but what I'm trying to say is you are currently in hell and it feels inescapable but it's really not. You will get better with time and counseling if you get it. I'd never downplay what you're going through cos it is awful but I went thought it too and I'm 19 now and I'm very happy with where I am in life. You will be too soon trust me.

[DonkeyDan]

Depression at your age is quite common but you are also going through a lot at the moment. You have to understand that things will get better. Pain of loss does fade, and we do cope with it. Do you have a student counsellor you can talk to?

[jshm2]

Stop being a ball of shit and study harder at school, kiddo. You're too distracted and you're nobody anyway, let alone "be yourself".

Be somebody first, and then bitch about it.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

We’re not here for a long time, we’re for a good time a man once said to me. Just, do your best in all terms. You can complete any challenge you face, defeat any enemy you come across, and make happy accidents from your mistakes