Is it really possible to be a loser in your 50s?

[CasaNorba]

as much as I love Cobra Kai I like to point out that this post is not actually about that show, but I am gonna use Johnny Lawrence as an example to proof my point.

anyways for quite a while now I could not help but to notice how much of a loser I been in life. I was raised by a neurotic woman who never finished school, who decided to divorce my father and take me away from him months after I was born along with 2 other older brothers who were far more worst than me; they too never finished school, started family with women worst than my our mother.

all my child/teen days I just wanted to finish school and go to college because I did not wanted to end up like them. however things did not go for me as plan, I lost my dad during high school and on top of that I was taking lots of heat from my mom at home. I was fortunate enough to finish high school but never got to finish college do to my poor mental health that I developed thanks to my family.

back in 2018 I tried to change my life by applying to work at a cellphone repair company but right when I start I get a news from the student loan department telling me that they're gonna put me on a 3 year probation in order to excuse the student loans I supposedly took out from a tech school I made the mistake at applying back in 2012. they said I can't go over the poverty line till for the next 3 years.

Luckily that probation ends in less than two more weeks. but throughout this time I just can't stop realizing how much me and Johnny Lawrence have so much in common. I never thought I be such a loser right now at age 34 going to 35. I'm just like him,

I barely make enough to survive
I live in a low class apartment
my fridge is filled with lots of expired food

and the list goes on. but I was wondering will I have a chance to redeem myself or can I continue living on like this till my 50s or forever?

[Malgaran]

None of these things make you a loser. I know people who on the other side of the spectrum that felt much the same still.

My stepfather for example. He used to be bullied a lot when he was young, was told he was never gonna amount to anything. He clearly took it to heart. He spent his life so focused on his career and work he ended up so much alone. He became like chief mechanic though even at the airport in our capitol, so like the biggest airport here in Norway in Oslo. No plane would even take off without his approval it sounded like. Anyway, point was. He earned a lot of money, was successful. But he was alone his entire life until he met my mother. So he was a virgin in his 40's.

I remember when I was younger, how I thought his existence was so sad. His entire life had been shaped by people who called him a loser, but not in the way you think. But in his determination to prove them wrong. He was rich materialistically but his life was so much the opposite, it wasn't rich at all. Always called himself a loser, I didn't think he was regardless. But I don't think we should live that way anyway, where we let our lives be shaped just cause of how someone else might see us or judge us. I see myself as a loser too, but I kinda embrace it at the same time. I have nothing fake in my life, everything I am is 100% real. I have no interest in joining all these illusions people tell themselves, to pretend they are happy, pretend they live life to the fullest etc. So much of society these days are more about image than reality.

I have expired food myself in fridge, I quit school when I was 12 even, no regrets though, would not have been alive if I had stayed in school anyway. We all have our own paths to go really. Think it's important to fill your life with what personally speaks to you.

Cause yeah, my stepfather died of cancer, betrayed and abandon by my mother. (she was rather abusive towards him). It's kinda ironic, in a way I felt like I was the only one that really cared about him, like truly. Even though to be honest he wasn't very nice to me, but I understood him, even if he hated me. Still think about his life a lot that way, he deserved a better life.

Anyway, cheers to us losers

[CasaNorba]

wow we sound like twin brothers. I myself embrace being a loser for the fact that I refuse to live the fake celebrity life that people from my generations are so desperately trying to live hence why I cancelled my Facebook account in 2019.

but it sounded like your father was a persistent sob for sure. something I wish I was

[bbjo-]

Hello. It is a gift from God that you have realized your past doings and you should use this as motivation and guidance for fixing your life. You are really young and have time to get your life together. Hope you find peace.

[CasaNorba]

I kinda wish I was younger, maybe then I could have a second chance