Do you cut people out your life, if almost everything they say is negative or hateful, or all they do is complain about everything?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Some people I keep at arms length. Some people I reached my limit on. This includes a direct family member I still love them and i will always be there in an emergency. But there is a boundary set up now. It hasn’t been easy at all but I knew it was necessary

However I know people have cut me out of their lives too. Right or wrong they judged me on my past actions. We tend to judge people by how we knew them at that point in their lives and judge ourselves on where we are at right now. However chances are they have changed too.

If someone can own up to wronging me in their past I can forgive them. Maybe reconcile but it’s takes a lot.

I have had ex gfs abruptly cut me out their lives. In both scenarios I knew a break up was needed. But one girl ghosted me after 9 months of dating. The other treated me like I was less than human.

I only once cut a girl completely out of my life. However she went psycho ballistic when I broke up with her despite me doing it face to face and giving her 2 hours to discuss things. It got so bad her mother had to call the police to have her place on suicide psych evaluation That was obviously a fundamental problem

Anyway I have never stayed friendly with any of my exes. If there are fundamental problems (cheating, abuse, etc) I think that’s justified. But to completely cut someone out when nothing fundamentally wrong happened can be cruel.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

Yes I do. And, if I can’t (because they are family or something) then I keep a distance and don’t spend so much time around them.

We only have one life to live and no matter how mentally strong we may be, negativity can still seep through and affect us subconsciously. It’s important to be intentional about who you spend your time around because they will influence you, whether it be a small impact or a large impact. It’s better to not let them impact you at all.

I suppose the only exception is if they are actively trying to get better and learn how to overcome their own demons. But, if they are not invested at all in their own personal growth, it’s not your job to fix them.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

It takes a lot for me to cut people out of my life. I know others do it extremely easily but then they themselves often complain they have few friends and no one wants to do anything.

People should be careful about being so casual, often someone who is negative all the time has reason for it, due to how bad their life sucks... hard to be a glass half full kind of person when someone keeps kicking the glass from you.

Hateful, maybe more likely than simply negative... does it mean I'll spend more time with them, not really. I will tell them hey I'm trying to be happy and generate some positive energy so please help.

It is amazing at how that can turn a negative person into a happy person.

Alwayreckles93 · Accepted Answer

I had cut off people completely. One thing I've learn this year is that mental health is what's more important because one negative comment can ruin a happy day. I just cut them off why because it's not healthy. It's 2022 you are not obligated to maintain contact only because it's your parents aunt's uncles cousin siblings grandparents. My sister And mom are very kind toxic people so I cut them off. You can tell right away when you connect with someone right away or when you and that individual just don't go together.

MysticAngel5000 · Answer

If they were CONSTANTLY negative, always being rude, etc., then yes, I would. Why keep someone like that around? I mean life is way too short for all that drama and negativity. It's perfectly fine to let GO of toxic people. This also includes family members. You don't have to stay involved with someone just because you're related. If they are toxic or abusive, they have to go. Period.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Those kinds of people aren’t invited into my life in the first place so i don’t usually need to cut people off. Modern politics caused a rift between myself and one friend, so i cut him off. Then a mutual friend of ours cut me off as a result. Ell oh ell!
Many years ago i dumped social media for basically this reason. Now i have an instagram account that i’m fairly vigilant about, and this abomination. Ell oh ell!

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Depends how bad. There are a few old acquaintances who I avoid because they are negative toxic people or just plain too weird. There are only a few people who in the past who I've disassociated with. Usually the level of toxicity is so great that there is no reason to try to maintain any sort of contact with them.

ethanallen · Answer

Absolutely yes! People who are negative, critical and angry will suck the life right out of you. You may feel energized up to the point you meet them. After listening to them for a few minutes, you'll have all of your energy drained. I keep a wall up and only let people inside who add value to my life. I used to be what some may call compassionate and I'd be friends with all people. Now I say "stay the fuck away from me" to people who are a drain.

bakajana · Answer

Yea I do. If someone isn't good for me I prefer not having that kind of toxicity in my life. I just want to surround myself with good and positive things. If something doesn't work out you can try how much you want but it just won't. No matter who the person is if they have a negative impact on you is better to keep a distance.

Wubs3000 · Answer

I cut one friend out before permanently who was super negative, hateful, and honestly a dick. He would also call me slurs all the time and wouldn't stop when I asked him too so I had enough and left after he refused to stop. Best choice I ever made. It had repercussions down the line and I lost other friends because I cut him out but I much prefer my life without him and he was a terrible influence.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Depends. If they are funny about it than no. My job invokes the worst in people so complaining and bitching is par for the course. If they bitch and mone and make it funny, I don't mind. If they are woe is me than, yes. Can't stand people that just want to wallow in self pity.

Screenwriter · Answer

Sounds like the most rational reason to do so. There is so much good and happy about being alive. Someone who pisses in your cereal is not worth hanging around... And if they're like this at 20! LORDY TODAY. They are doomed.

ElvenMr · Answer

I have a few friends like that and i know it affects me negatively, but i just can't do it...
I know i'm less positive when i'm around them and probably in general.

Finding good friends is not easy, so unless they are messing with me in any serious way, i'm kind of okay with them being like that.

LazerBean · Answer

It depends on how bad. There's really only been one person bad enough for me to totally cut them out. But plenty that I just avoid.

Pinay_ako · Answer

misery loves company. Depends on who it is. If it’s my direct close family, I don’t cut them off. But if it’s a friend, I’ll tell them. If a co worker or acquaintance, idgaf.

mstbooblover · Answer

Toxic people you mean I guess. Yes, I tend to leave behind me such people. If a relation of any kind goes only one way, there's no other option than cutting out of once life such negative people. In rea

ManOnFire · Answer

Not sure if I'd say I cut them out exactly. I just get to a point where I do a lot less talking in the hopes that they'll see they're being toxic and try to change it.

Haha456 · Answer

there is a saying "misery loves company". Bitter people will only attract other bitter people. Happy people and bitter people do not mix.

Guy13 · Answer

Slowly unless I am stuck with a Business relationship. Not having a TV and Social Media takes a lot of "Stress and Negativity" out of my life.-Which frees up space for people. ;-)

Rangers · Answer

I can't cut people out of my life because I don't let anyone in my life to begin with, my girlfriend is the only exception cause she's the only person worth having around

boredgal · Answer

definitely. don’t matter if they’re family or not. I don’t need that negativity in my space. I tried it and it feels good.

NathanDavis · Answer

nope... they don't even make it into my life in the first place, lol they can hate themselves somewhere else...

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Yes. I do. I’m willling to do that… more than willing to do so.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

If it continues after talking to them about it yeah I'd slowly cut off communications.

Th3ft · Answer

I mean I hate to say it like that but yeah. Usually I just stop communicating with them. But yeah usually there is a sort of removal.

NewgodX · Answer

Not if they are right about the negative things or there complains are legit

MikeInHawaii · Answer

Yes, and I didn’t make an exception for the one who gave birth to me. I hadn’t spoken to her in years when she died and made no effort to go to her funeral.

bigpauly · Answer

Yes. I don’t want to be brought down all day.

Anonymous · Answer

I cut them off. But I guess people who are afraid to be alone will keep up with their BS just to have someone in their lives even if that person is part of the quantity and not quality.

humanearth · Answer

I cut out the drug users and pot heads many years ago If you want to be successful in life, you can't hang around them

AmandaYVR · Answer

I tried to. But he was a partner to my mother. Otherwise, yep I sure would.

JDBSLAOQ · Answer

yeah why keep someone around when all they do is make u feel shitty

Andres77 · Answer

Why would I eat raw onions? All it does is cause heartburn. Same thing. No reason to subjugate myself to misery on a constant basis.

sheikalana · Answer

Absolutely. I don't need that negativity in my life.

XXblack88 · Answer

Yeah I do when I can. Sometimes it's easier said then done.

Dargil · Answer

If they backbite me, they are gone. They will be lucky if they don't bleed.

Kabluie · Answer

I have. Resentment is real. You can be worn down emotionally with too much negativity.

AimeeKyle · Answer

I try too…some you just can’t cut loose due to situation/circumstances. If I have control of the relationship, then yes.

Bubbles16 · Answer

Of course because my dad always tells me not to surround yourself with people who are always in a bad mood or acting really negative

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

Unless you plan to address it in order to stop it (confrontation, which I know many people about) then yes.

jengeorge26 · Answer

I may ignore them, cut them out of my life, no

OddBeMe · Answer

Yeah, if theyre toxic i hold them at arms length. I dont ignore completely jnc, especially if its family.

collie22 · Answer

i've done that a few times cause i don't need there negative influences

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

Yes because they can wear on you physically, mentally and emotionally.

monkeynutts · Answer

Yeah, it's mentally draining to pay attention to them.

Lexina · Answer

Yes I do, someone who doesn’t see the positives in anything is just going to help you draw back

Mgtow1990 · Answer

Will automatically throw them right out of my life no questions asked

innerman · Answer

am glad we agreed,  Cut out all negative and annoying people.

Lickmymeet · Answer

There’s a reason I don’t talk to my siblings anymore ofc cut people like that off

hahahmm · Answer

Usually. Or I limit time around them.

likelyOK · Answer

I have it was draining

melanieeeB · Answer

Yeah

DermalPunch · Answer

I rarely cut but I do fade.

RebeccaGomez8 · Answer

i have.  I no longer talk to my mom.

TallAnon · Answer

I cut people out rather easily

Guardian45 · Answer

It's rare, but I have.

Smartman5 · Answer

Yeah. I don't like such people

EaterPeter · Answer

I wish I can at least at some point

Jouth · Answer

naw I just cut people

Hotboy_booblover · Answer

Yes if I can cut them off i do..

mandyfire98 · Answer

Without a doubt.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

Yes I do

plredhead · Answer

Absolutely!

Waldoe · Answer

Yes, I have

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